Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Hip-Hop is dead and Paris is alive a kicking

By R.L.
Desperately Fabulous Contributor

Hello world, hopefully I didn't leave you needing your gossip fix for too long. Lucky for me, I'm related to the editor of this blog and I can turn my stories in late without getting fired. Wish it was like that on my day job.

Paris Unedited
When I started this job there were two things I promised to never talk about, Paris Hilton and the handicapped. Just when you thought or even hoped Paris wouldn't do anything else stupid, she strikes again. The latest in a long line of mistakes for this Hilton sister, is forgetting to pay a storage bill of a whopping$ 200 bucks. For those of you that don't know how storage works, if you don't pay your bill your property becomes the property of the storage company. This is when this story turns into truly a Paris Hilton story . Among her property was a home video tape of Paris and friends (Nicole Richie) having sex, doing drugs and being down right nasty. You know you're nasty when a young man like myself has to say "cut that nasty sh*t off". Rick James is some where in Heaven right now looking down like "Cocaine is a hell of a drug".

Nicole Richie is a)licking her plate after some good dessert or b)not letting good coke go to waste

Save the Drama for your Mama

This past week in Atlanta world famous DJ Drama & Don Cannon had their Atlanta offices raided for what most are calling DWB (DJ'ing while black). Both of these well known DJs are being charged by the RIAA better known as the hip hop cops, with selling bootlegged CDs. While some are saying the charges are all a misunderstanding and the two DJs are just at the bottom of the totem pole and the RIAA actually have bigger fish to fry. RIAA responded to this by saying "we're not against mixtapes, we're against people making a profit off music which is not theirs". You mean to tell me that's it's illegal to sell something that is not your's for a profit ? Damn it, makes you think where was the RIAA during slavery?

We be clubbin'
If you play in the NBA your days of playing ball all day and hitting the club for some groupie love at night might come to an end. Basketball commissioner David Stern (the basketball version of George Bush) wants to have a policy that would not allow NBA players to visit nightclubs during the season. He says that almost 60 % percent of all incidents with NBA players happen in or around nightclubs, I guess the other 40% percent happens in or around hotel rooms in Colorado. I personally hope that this doesn't happen because the all-star game will be in Vegas in two weeks and if the NBA players ain't at the club who's gonna give me their left overs? David Stern, if you're reading this (and you should be since you're on my friends list on myspace) let the players play!

David Stern

Hit & miss
*Kanye West has been working on a new album set to release this spring, called "Graduation" and word on the street this will be his last album with Roc-a-fella records.
*Rosie O' Donnell was back in the news last week she called for President Bush's impeachment on her morning television show. If Bush was smart he would just call Donald Trump to handle his light work. I like Rosie but if her & Donald would have been on the show "yo momma" Donald would have walked away with $1,000 cash money.
*Jay-Z has been hired on by Coca-Cola to help relaunch their product. I guess the new slogan will be "If we can sell it, you can drink it

Friday, January 26, 2007

Week in Review

The cast of Dreamgirls hit up the London preview of the movie

What's that under Beyonce's arm? She does know that you can buy invisible deodorant. Mama Tina is definitely off her game.

And if that wasn't bad enough? The lace front that night was looking beat down. YUCK!

Katie Holmes attended a fashion show in Paris looking gorgeous. Of course her great look was due to the dark light of Tom Cruise being absent.

And Tyra Banks does not give a f*ck if people think she's fat. She's too busy counting her Oprah Junior money. Telling People Magazine:
I’ve made millions of dollars with the body I have, so where’s the pain in that? If I was in pain, I would have dieted. The pain is not there – the pain is someone printing a picture of me and saying those (horrible) things.

5'10 and 161 pounds could only be fat in Hollywood and to gossip bloggers. And for the record we never posted the "fat" Tyra swimsuit pictures.

And parents lock up your sons because Michael Jackson has returned to the US. His exact location has not been reported, so keep those boys locked up until further notice.

And guess who was seen with a woman? Someone that we reported last week had a disgruntled ex boyfriend. Yes, none other than Neyo! Good way to respond to those rumors.

Why is he fully clothed on the beach?

Update: Isaiah Washington is now in rehab working on his issues. Earlier this week I called for his firing but I may recant. Let's hope he works things out.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


Worship Our Saviour Tom “New Christ” Cruise

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New Chruise is the saviour of Scientology according to David Miscavige, the leader of the church. He will be worshipped in the future for bringing the awareness of Xenu and the pod-like aliens within all of us. How do you find out about these aliens inside of me, you may be asking yourself. Simple, you take a meter reading at one of the Scientology centers near you. After you take the E-meter reading you will be given a couple free lessons and personality test. Then you will be sent a bill for your free lessons and personality test.

How will this news affect Tom Cruise? Will he try to walk on water? Raise his wife from the dead? How about change Suri's pee to wine? Time will only tell but until I hear his new commandments I will remain a unbeliever.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Saving Grey's Anatomy

Things are not going good on the set of Grey's Anatomy. I loved this show almost immediately, since it's set in my hometown, plus the cast is diverse and good looking. Then season one ended and Grey became an pathetic anorexia whiner and McDreamy became an emotional blackmailer. But hey it still made for great TV and the supporting cast was stronger than ever.
So why did the cast of this show have to go and fuck things up? Just to recap the events. In October, Isaiah Washington referred to to T.R. Knight as an F*ggot. TR and other cast members overhead and T.R. immediately called People Magazine to make a stand. Now, I've always found something a little off about Isaiah Washington but we all make mistakes. Then crazy Isaiah goes and repeats the word after the Golden Globes and lies about saying the word back in October. Which then leads T.R. to go on Ellen to cry about it. Oh and in between all this co-star Katherine Heigl also makes a statement to reporters. Got that?
Here's the deal Isaiah needs to be fired. Which is difficult for me to say since Dr. Burke is probably my favorite character on the show. And it may be even more difficult for the creator of the show Shonda Rhimes. She was quoted back in October as saying: "I found (those rumors) not only ridiculous but offensive that we would consider replacing a member of our family. And also the (idea) that one black man was interchangeable with another seemed disturbing to me." Yes it's disturbing but an actor on one of the most ethically diverse casts in television can not go around using the word Faggot. I propose that Isaiah be replaced by Morris Chestnut and then Isaiah needs to go some where and work on his issues.

The back-up

As for T.R. Knight things are a bit more complicated. I hate to blame the victim but if you overhear a colleague referring to you as a Faggot then you don't call People magazine to “make a stand by coming out”, you make a stand by going directly to the producers and demanding some action. And when that colleague uses the word again, you don't go crying on the Ellen Show, instead you call the president of ABC demanding action. Because of the media circus the focus is now on T.R.'s homosexuality. And since the Hollywood standard is that gay men can't play straight expect Dr. O'Malley to come out the closet by the end of next season.

Getting teary eyed on Ellen

The PR golden rule is that cast of hit shows keep their business out of the media. There were claims of racism on the set of Seinfeld(which Michael Richards proved to be true), personality clashes on Sex and City and drug use on Frasier. But each cast handled the situations internally to keep the cash flowing. To save this show from itself let's get Morris on the cast and a good PR rep stat!

Friday, January 19, 2007

American Weirdo

Hello world, after a week long break I'm back on my job. American Idol started it's 6th season this week with a bang. If you missed Paula Abdul appearing on Fox 13 higher than Bobby Brown at a New Edition reunion concert then you missed something craziness. Just as strange as the interview was the reason her publicist gave for as excuse for Paul's craziness. Her publicist stated that the reason Paula appeared as such (meaning high) was because she was exhausted from all the interviews she had been doing. Exhaustion didn't look like the problem, the problem was she didn't let the crack high wear off long enough before doing the interview. I'm not the smartest man in the world but I do know a crack head when I see one.

Did someone say sex tape?

Leave it to Brandy's brother Ray J to up the ante with celebrity sex tapes. Ray J was recorded giving Kim Kardashian a women he used to date a golden showers during one of their sexual encounters. I know Ray J said R.Kelly was his Idol but damn can't you just be a fan like the rest of us? What makes this story even crazier is the fact that the tape is gonna be sold to the highest bidder, and last reported talks were well over a million bucks! If you really think about it Ray J is gonna make more money off this sex tape, than he did off his last album Raydiation. I guess we all know what Ray J's song 'One Wish' was really about.

Who is really Irreplaceable?

I know we told you about Ne-yo being the real writer of 'Irreplaceable' last week but some very interesting facts about this situation have recently surfaced. Now this gossip has been on my desk for a while now and out of respect for the Ne-yo I would usually brush it to the side. But this is just to juicy to hold back. Now we all have heard the rumors that Ne-Yo is gay. Ne-Yo has obviously stated many times that he is not gay and even released pictures of himself having sex with a woman. A source close to Ne-Yo recently released a statement saying that Ne-Yo did in fact did write the song because he knows the guy who inspired the song. The source goes on to say that Ne-Yo & this unknown guy broke up because the guy repeatedly told Ne-Yo he would be happier with someone else. I don't know what to think about this whole thing but there's a saying: If one person says it then it's a rumor, if two people say it then it's a lie, If three people say it then it's the truth.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Crashing the party with a little OJ

I am starting to fall in love with Jamie Fox. The first butterflies were felt when he pulled out a fan to cool Kanye West big head while he was giving a thank you speech after receiving an award for Gold Digger. When asked why he felt the need to pull out a little Fox said, ''Somebody needed to cool that nigga down''. Now he told the press about his recent party and who the party crashes were such as, Paris Hilton passing out drunk (why was her racist butt even invited?), OJ trying to break his hand during a handshake. He goes on to continue his beef with Eddie Murphy by saying he wears leather pants that are too small and nobody says anything about it. Now Jamie, that was a long time ago, Eddie has not wore those tight ass pants in public in years. I do not doubt he wears them around the house with his boyfriend Johnny Gill. But really no need for bring up old stuf. What really set my heart on fire was his comment or truth telling about Janet Jackson, "She whispered her entire album. I said, 'What's wrong with my speakers?' " Yes we all wonder what is wrong with our speakers when we hear her mumble her way though a song. That shy little girl crap stopped being cute about the end of Good Times Penny.

More OJ news the guy really does get around, he crashed a video shoot for Ludacris and Superhead. He decided to grind on Superhead (who hasn't?). The video was never released so I guess the only we are going to see it is if somebody leaks it to Youtube or Google video.

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I really hope the good times stop rolling for thief producer Timbaland soon. The guy stole from a Finnish Dj Tempest. The Dj created a song on a Amiga. The song was posted online, it somehow made its way to Timbaland who then used it in a Nelly Furtado song without giving credit to the creator. Video proof below:

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Winners and Losers of the 2007 Golden Globes

Last night was the Golden Globe awards. And since the entire ceremony is a shame, I won't even comment on the validity of the winners. But I will comment on the fashions of the night. Plus this is my warm up to the Oscars. I'm highly qualified for this exercise since most days I spend about two minutes thinking about what to wear. I call it casual le chic.....some people just call it casual.
*Editors note: Full disclosure, some pictures from the original post were from 2006.

The Losers

Ellen Pompeo

Picture from 2006
Not only are you annoying the hell out of me on Grey's Anatomy but you show up as a grown woman to an award show wearing dead white chrysanthemums. You are not a young Hollywood starlet therefor there is no need for the anorexia or the awful wardrobe choices to attempt to hide your anorexia.

Picture from 2007

Still anorexic

Shonda Rhimes

I heard that the Golden Globes were going green this year but I didn't know they would make people wear recycled curtains.

Cameron Diaz

Ice princess with a very evil stepmother. Not a good way to show Justin what he gave up.


I give up, really I give the hell up.

The Winners

Vanessa Williams

Not sure how I feel about the hair but everything else in the outfit is working. That's not real fur is it?

Jennifer Hudson

Size appropriate clothing and a beautiful accessory.

Angelina Jolie

Just stunning and an okay arm piece.

Kyra Sedgwick

Nice simple but yet still glamorous.

There you have it folks, the winners and the losers.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Week in Review

Posh and David Beckham are coming to America. For those of you living in America or under a rock, these two are BIG! BIG I tell you! Bigger than the Fat boys, Star jones and Flavor of Love put together.
This is the year I'll be moving back to the new world as well and I was a little nervous that I would miss Europe. But my heart is filled with much joy knowing that the Beckhams and I will be living in same country. Now if they break-up I swear I'll jump off a cliff or just read all the juicy details in the Enquirer.

It's reported that David's move to LA was really because he wants to be a Mooovie star. I really hope for his sake that they bring silent movies back or maybe just a really good non-speaking role.

And can someone please tell Jason and Joumana Kidd to keep their business 'out of the streets'.

Both claiming spousal abuse in their divorce papers and then sending their lawyers to do battle in the NY papers. Here's the deal, I'm sure Joumana tried to slap Jason a few times, but he probably drove her to it with his cheating and lying. Plus wasn't he arrested a few years ago in Phoenix for domestic violence?

Well it would appear so......
Joumana, I think I see 'half' in your future and some fat child support payments.
Full Story

And Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz officially announced their break-up. How sad....but first I want proof that they were even a couple in the first place. Justin is busy finding his next beard girlfriend, he's rumored to be already dating Scarlett Johansson.

He never looked too happy when next to Cameron

And Madonna told David Letterman that's she too busy saving children and living in London to know what's going on in America. News flash, I get most of my news from BBC and damn it they do a far better job reporting on America than Americans.

But more importantly she wants the world to know about her battle to save African Children: "There's over a million orphans in Malawi, and in my opinion the laws need to change because these children need to be rescued,". This statement is wrong on so many levels but I'm sure not a day goes by that little David isn't reminded how grateful he should be to Madonna. Someone should tell Madonna that grateful is when your native country can feed most it's citizen, when your mother didn't die at child birth, when your father would have been financially able to keep you or when an American/Psuedo British pop star wouldn't use orphans for self gratification.

And if wasn't already a bad week for Beyonce. First claims of abuse at the hands of her boyfriend and now Neyo is claiming he wrote the lyrics to ‘IRREPLACABLE’ all by himself.

Better watch your back, I think Mama Knowles is out to cut ya.

And our favorite widow Tomi Rae Hynie-Brown has been left out James Brown's will. There's a dealer somewhere that's mad as hell.

Time to seek out some legal representation!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

He would sell the brooklyn bridge

I have a satellite dish that lets me receive 2100 channels. Some of them are pure comedy such as Kuwaiti state television shows which look like music videos from 1981. Others are just sad, such as the call in sex shows on Russian television. I guess they don´t like to wash their hair or get bad teeth puled. But what really annoys me is seeing ads for HP computers with the Jay-Z voice overs, it's everywhere!

selling computers

I know we already had an update talking about the man but his ugly mug is everywhere. Look at your nearest GM dealership to find a Yukon Denali in Jay-Z blue.

selling cars

LL Cool J said that 'Jay was best at promoting Jay'. I can't disagree, the guy is everywhere but behind his desk at Def Jam. Ghostface released two new albums, did I see or hear any promotion? Same goes for Lady Sovereign whomever she is. And now LL has a new book out, the only reason I know about this is because I went to the Def Jam website. Russell time to leave the Phat Farm and check in on your company.

Posted by Ciena (despite the posted by stamp)

Monday, January 08, 2007

Kiss the dice and roll a lucky 7

By R.L
Desperately Fabulous Contributor

Happy New Year to everyone. Hopefully everyone had a fun and safe new year's....if not better luck next year.
Okay, let me start off by saying if you've never been on the Las Vegas strip on new year's eve, then you owe it to yourself to check it out. Between the strip, casinos & night clubs you're bound to find something to fall into.
So let's recap my New year's eve. After getting drunk with all the locals down on the strip at Margarita Ville, I decided my destination of choice was Club Tao hosted by Usher and Pamela Anderson. Let me just say that Pamela Anderson might just be from the Canadian ghetto because the way she acted when the club wouldn't let her friends in was "Mad hood'. I haven't heard that many curse words since my mom found out Kobe's accuser was white. Moving on, after showing my desperately fabulous pass, I was escorted to none other than the V.I.P room . Where I saw R&B Messiah Usher Raymond. Now I'm not a hater or at least I thought I wasn't but who does this brotha think he is? Prince? I mean you would have thought he was a prince of a small African village the way he had grown ass women fainting. Other celebrities in the building were Chris Tucker and Britney Spears who I thought was throwing another party on the strip but I guess not. Pauly Shore fresh off his ass whoopin' in Texas along with a host of other celebrities. Overall Club Tao did a great job of putting this night together the DJ was great the people were great and best of all the alcohol was free.

Tanzanian village here I come!

I know we're a week into the new year but I need to talk about resolutions. Since New Year's resolutions for celebrities (and the rest of us) are basically meant to be broken, I came with a few well needed resolutions.


  • Stay in the board room since these young rappers have no respected for their elders.
  • Stop saying I'm gonna 'bring New York back', the only time New York made a comeback was on Flavor of Love.
  • Stop telling people 30 is the new 20, especially when you're almost 40

Tom Cruise

  • Stop trying to get everybody to convert over to the Church of Scientlogy.
  • Do not stand on anymore couches
  • Admit that keeping the baby under wraps was kinda weird.
Beyonce Knowles
  • Get some breath mints. The secret is out that you have bad breath.
  • Stop letting mom and dad speak for you.
  • Help out your boyfriend and sign to Def Jam so you can up those record sales.

Nicole Richie
  • Eat a burger
  • with some fries
  • and a soft drink

Kanye West

  • Button up all your shirts, you're starting to look suspect
  • Stop being so paranoid
  • Stop being such a mama's boy

Friday, January 05, 2007

Anyone can get published

Okay I don't have time for a full post today. But I ran across this while visiting YBF.

50 cent at the book signing for his new book. I'm not sure what the subject actually is, maybe how to get shot while trying really hard or how to be a stereotype. Leaves me curoius but not enough to buy that sh*t. Visit YBF for the full story.

And if that wasn't enough. Mrs. Brown (James Brown's widow) needs to stop taking those crazy pills.

She don't know KARATE but she knows crazy!
Have a good weekend folks.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Taking credit when credit is not due

This week the Academy let Beyonce and her songwriters know that she will not be nominated for best song this year. The Academy has this little rule that it only takes max three people to write a song and Bey was the odd man out. This is good since despite here numerous "writing credits" the woman probably has never written a song. In order to write a song, one would probably need to be able to at least write and be able to put two coherent sentences together, all of which our girl has demonstrated she can not do.

But she's still getting magazine covers. Doesn't she look like a cross between Jada Pinkett Smith and Jennifer Lopez in the picture?

The year has just started and we already have our first celebrity break-up. Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson may be calling it quits....yawn

They had way too much blond hair between them to ever make it.

Oh Brandy is that a peace sign on your pants? Please remember the number one rule of fashion: peace sign on pants = bad

Holding up peace to keep it all coordinated.

And for the craziest rumor of the day. The paternity fight between Scary Spice and Eddie Murphy is heating up. Scary Spice wants the results of paternity test revealed on television. Someone get Maury on the line!

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Where is my iPod!

I hope all of the readers had a Happy New Years!

Yeah the O did a nice thing and opened a school for girls in South Africa. Lets all give her a clap and get down to the hating. It is not that I dislike the idea of opening a school or thought it was a bad idea. It was great but what I have an issue with is her saying, "If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don't ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school."

Look O, I went to a public school, we did not need a uniform, why would I ask for something like that when I could wear some jeans and a t-shirt. Lots of poor people in American need money. I would not trust you to go out and do some grocery shopping for me. You might come back with some tufo and foie gras. It is her money and she can do whatever she wants with it but she really did not need to add that little comment about poor children in America. The schools are crap, even if you make it with a highschool diploma you have the high cost of college. You end up most likely in debt by the time you finish college then you start your first job which is set off to India because the labor there is cheaper. We all can not became talk show host O.

Mariah Carey looks less crazy these days, those pills must be working
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Gay looking as mannish as ever
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Mr. Poitier looks like Joe Clark
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I guess she decided to wear some sheets in place of a real dress

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Here are some pictures of the $40 million school

The lounge Area

Dorm Room

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

It's nice to be back in the building

We're back! I hope that everyone had a safe holiday season. So let's start the new year off right with some gossip. But before we get started I want to send Birthday Wishes to my wonderful grandmother Edith who will turn 87 this week. Happy Birthday Grams!

I was saddened by the death of James Brown over Christmas. Later during the week I saw pictures of Michael Jackson at the funeral and wondered how people were able to stay in their seats with scary in the building. I know James didn't have a choice but damn......

Jennifer Hudson is still feeling the fabulous reviews of her role in Dreamgirls. Here she is performing live in New York. What's up with the hair?

My friend Mo told me that 'Dreamgirls' wasn't that great and she didn't understand all the golden globe nominations. Any disagreements and I'll post Mo's email address.

Kanye West showed up for something looking crazy. But he is already responsible for my favorite rap quote of 2007. "I don't know how to explain this but I'm kinda a big deal"

And oh look my man Scott Storch was in Miami partying it up with other annoying people.

I know this is a short post but that's all I got! We'll post everyday this week and review the new the Mos Def album as well. Stay tuned!