Thursday, July 27, 2006

A short break

I’m going on a short vacation-much needed. I’m very sorry but there won’t be an update this week.
I promise to post again next week! Make sure you come back! I’ll review the new Roots album with a link on where to get it before the release date.
In the interim, read my archives and links to other gossip sites.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Introducing the new desperately fabulous

A new look! I just can’t hold down my excitement- I’m such a nerd.
A few weeks ago a reader e-mailed me about the awful DF layout (I thought it was kinda cute). But he didn’t just complain, he actually helped create the new banner with a very cool font.
And thanks to more cyber friends who helped with the color scheme. So let me know what your think of the new look. Love it?! Hate it?! Go back to old format???

Let’s get started. After a slow start this week, things started to heat up a bit.
The world is suffering from so much despair at the moment. The leaders of the top economic nations held the G8 Summit this week. Surely they would have some answers to this current world crisis in the Middle East.
Well it seems that the Russian hosts “forgot” to turn off the microphones of our two favorite world leaders (those sneaky Russians).Let’s read a bit of the transcription

BUSH: "No, just going to make it up,"
"I'm not going to talk too damn long, like the rest of them. Some of them talk too long."
WTF?! That’s why we are in the mess in Iraq? Because smarty pants just loves to wing it…..
BUSH: "Gotta go home. Got something to do tonight. How about you? Where are you going? Home?"
Cheney hates when he breaks his curfew
BUSH:” Thanks for the sweater, it was awfully thoughtful of you," "I know you picked it out yourself."
BLAIR: "Oh, absolutely,"
That’s just sooo lovely
Lebanon: close those bunkers very tight!

And if the world just wasn’t f*cked up enough. Barbara has the need to touch every black woman’s hair on 'The View'.

Speaking of weaves and The View.....
Well there are lot of rumors floating around the Reynolds. Allow me to break it down…One rumor, has Al telling Star that he’s gay on the day she was fired from the view. See I can’t really believe that one, since by all accounts Al is alive. Second rumor is that he’s talking to a divorce lawyer. This one could be true, although it could just be a plant by “his people” (friends from Fire Island with some PR skills) to put the story out in the press. This could help Al start talking to Stah about his exit strategy from this farce.

And if that wasn’t enough. I’ve also heard that the hook up between Stah and Al was actually done by their minister. This minister "cured" Al of his gayness-hmmm didn't work. Then the minister proceeded to hook up the newly "cured" Al with the then very single and fat Ms.Stah Jones. Can't wait for Al's tell all book!

Can we please work on the Anger Management issues?

Naomi was arrested again! She allegedly showed up at her boyfriend's London flat demanding that he let her retrieve her things(all her assistants were recovering from their own beat-down and couldn’t get the things for her). When he wouldn’t open the door, she tried to kick the door down. He probably would have been headed straight to hospital if had opened the door. Police were called, she calmed down and was released.

Janet, you can look sexy without looking like you won a shopping spree to WetSeal.

And is why PAB still talking about Britney. Get over it already!
In the issue of GQ PAB says:

“When we initially parted ways [in 2002], I felt like she had a couple of opportunities to just sort of stick up for me, and she didn’t,” says Timberlake about Spears, 24, publicly blaming him for the split. His answer? “I fought back…I came up with a song.” That would be “Cry Me a River,” which called out Spears’ rumored infidelity with his pal Wade Robson (she denied it).
Oh Brit, PAB so wants you back. Just give him call....please!

Nicole reportedly fainted on a shopping trip this week. No one can out smart anorexia.

Her new album cover. I really love Nicole, even we she’s wasting valuable CDs to make this shitty album. And no, I have not heard it, just call it a gut feeling...

When, where, how?!

And where was Vince? Knowing AJ, she probably joined in……did she? Enquiring Minds want to know!

Kimora still has everyone beat in the Bitch face contest.

Straight Chillin'& Bitchin' in Miami

And although she may not be able to act, Halle has excellent taste in handbags. At least she has talent where it really counts

And finally congratulations to Eddie Murphy and Mel B.(Scary Spice). These two love birds are rumored to be getting hitched this weekend.

Hmmm wait a minute. Mel, wasn’t your last husband gay? Maybe you need to ask Eddie something. Keep your eye on Johnny Gill at the ceremony.

That's it for this week. Enjoy the heat.

Friday, July 14, 2006

If I ruled the world....

This has been a slow week in the world of gossip. Still no sightings of little Suri but plenty of conspiracy theories. Therefore, step into my world.......
I was having dinner with a friend not too long ago and the topic of actors came up. More specifically who could act and who could not. Which got me to thinking what would happen if I ruled Hollywood for a day (or a week, year, eternity)?
First I would start with my list of people who would be banned from Hollywood for the rest of their natural lives.

First up:
Angelina Jolie: I have no idea as to why this woman is famous. Okay, I do have an idea but it sure ain’t for her acting ability. If she was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean without a life jacket and Jennifer Aniston was pushing her head under water, she still could not convince me she was drowning.


Halle Berry: Well Ms. Berry just because you won an Oscar does not mean that you can act (see Angelina Jolie, Marisa Tomei, Gwyneth Paltrow). I make this face every time I look into the mirror; my friends have aptly called it my “mirror face”. Well Halle has what I call her "ugly face"; crying, running nose and blabbering with a bad accent. That is what passes for acting in Halle’s book. Not in mine!


Almost gone....
Some of you may be surprised to see Denzel on “bordering banishment list”. But I recently watched ‘Inside Man’ and during the entire movie I had this feeling that I had already seen the movie before. I hadn’t, but I had of course seen Denzel play the same role at least a dozen times. Now it may not be his fault that he doesn’t get offered more diverse roles. But with me at the helm of Hollywood that would all change. I want to see Denzel in a real romantic comedy, with a genuine love interest. And no, none of that Will Smith type bullsh*t. More in the lines of a “Harry met Sally” type movie.


Should be gone....but...
I want to believe that Matthew McConaughey can act. But it seems that in every one of his movies, he’s just playing a different variation of himself. “Oh that’s Matthew acting silly”, or “Oh that’s Matthew having fun” or real range “That’s Matthew sad”
I’m tired of him bringing his “Ah shucks” routine to every role. In order to stay in Hollywood, Matthew you must play a very serious role (and not one of Southern Origin). Exchange scripts with Philip Seymour Hoffman right now!


Ralph Fiennes gets a lifetime pass. I watched ‘The Constant Gardner’ the other night. And the script just had sooo much wrong but Ralph made the movie almost right. He’s the Bill Clinton of acting (no not in that way) you really feel his pain through his acting. He actually becomes the characters that he’s playing. What a concept?!


Poor Angela Bassett. So much talent and so few roles. I would hire a screenwriter that would be dedicated to writing roles to complement Angela’s talent. To make things easier, I would give her all Angelina's scripts. Have your pick, I’m sure there is a good one in the bunch.


Moving on
Oh my god! How short is Jermaine? Damn.....

He must shop at the junior section- and still his pants appear to be too long.

Meg, you're always late on the latest fashion. Didn't you learn that when you were the last person in Hollywood to hook-up with Russell Crowe?

I like the new Monica song “Everytime the beat drops”. Now if only she would take that stank look off her face, maybe she could sell more albums.

Lenny Kravitz gets on my last nerve. Below celebrating the Italian worldcup victory. Lenny, I want you to name one Italian player on the world cup team and one country that borders Italy.

Yeah, didn’t think so…..

Could you give Lenny a headbut please?

Who knew that Zidane was a bit sexy???

I'm sorry but I can't take this serious. E! has more credibility.

I demand that they remove the word 'news' from the ad. News should not be 'personal', news is just news. I know it's hard and you want to talk about curing cancer, your hair and your fun personality but just the facts

Look at Penny Woods. Lookin’ good.

I can never ever ever say enough about airbrushing

Foxy, where you going?

"To the free clinic"

If I only had a brain

Someone stop this woman from doing interviews.

Do you think Star would go back to being fat if she could have her old job back?

Until next time. Send me an e-mail if I missed some key gossip or stories

Friday, July 07, 2006

Jayson Blair are you there???

Last week I was reading the online version of the NY Times and came across an article about Jay-Z’s Cristal boycott. Then things got weird, the writer started using lyrics to make satirical transitions, the same style I love to use. Then this reporter hack used some of the same Jay quotes I’ve used to make the exact same points. A coincidence I’m sure. But just in case I’m going to get my lawyer Star to look into this. She’s the best lawyer ever! Did you see her on Larry King? She just strikes fear in people. I heard that she has more free time now, so she can give my case her full attention. With Star’s superior lawyer skills and my excellent case, (since not one person at the Times has had an original idea in at least ten years) we would surely win!

Oh damn….I use copyright protected pictures on this blog. Maybe I should hold off on my case. But in the words of Jay: “stop stealing my sh*t”

Watch out before she starts using her lawyer skills.

Lil’Kim was released from prison in time to celebrate the 4th. At least one person in America was able to celebrate freedom.

Looks like her plastic surgery held up in the “Big House”. I thought she was on house arrest…..where’s the ankle bracelet?

Everyone is wondering: where is baby Suri? Reportedly friends and family have not seen the baby.

If we can put a man on the moon, surely we can find out if baby Suri really exist.

Gary Coleman Lauryn Hill performing at a show in San Francisco. Maybe she can make a comeback

"What you talkin bout Willis?!"

Diddy and his woman on the beach.

Kim is great and all. But they'll never have the heat that he had with Jennifer.

Made for each other.....

I don’t really have anything to say about this picture. Except that, I want a mohawk wearing and hip adopted kid from Cambodia!

Serena on vacation in St. Lucia

See, she can't even get a swimsuit right.

Word on the street is that he and acne queen have broken up. Could we possibly get a reunion between him and Brit?
It could help put those gay rumors to rest.

My eyes, my eyes!!!!

Kids, plastic surgery is not a good thing.

Oh no Coutness! You are not trying to do sexy!

Even when she looks absolutely crazy, I still can’t help but love her.

Sorry for this picture. But come on, who could side with Paris over Nicole?

Just can't seem to keep her legs closed! Proving once again that having money does not mean having class.

New NYC subway ads

This ad makes no sense since Jesus was Jewish. The next ad will be "Malcolm X for Black people"

Thanks for all the great comments and e-mails! Please keep them coming.
Until next time.