NOT JUST WACK...

NOT JUST WACK...BUT WHAT WACK WANTS TO BE WHEN IT GROWS UP… I stole that line from a reviewer on Amazon. I think it’s hilarious and can be used in almost any situation.

Do you remember when you where in middle school and you would make mix-tapes? Which meant that you would sit by the radio until your favorite song came on and then immediately press the record button.
Well if I was sitting by the radio today, I would be waiting for the following songs to be played hoping that I was fast enough to press record in time. They're all a bit old….
Maps- yeah yeah yeahs
Ms. Hill- Talib Kweli
The Dance- Prince
Cannonball- Damien Rice
Random: Am I the only person enjoying the new season of the Soprano’s?




The NYTimes was on fire this week with great articles! Who needs more news on Bradgelina and TomKat? The Times is providing more than enough opportunity for snark. I think the new online format has inspired some of the NYTimes journalists.
The first article to provide laugher and just all around amusement was in Sunday’s Wedding and Celebration section. The wedding of Laurie Nehmen and Austin Stark was the lucky winner, as it was featured on the front page of the W&C section.
These two lovers (twenty-six years old respectively) had so many challenges before making it down the aisle last week. They fell in love during a magical summer in the Hamptons. Falling in love in the Hamptons? As you know, the Hamptons is THE place were rich, cool, and fun loving kids fall in love. "We were just a couple of kids who had no jobs and spent the day hanging out at the beach." Ms. Neham was quoted as saying. Ahhh the magic! Wait, is this an east coast version of Laguna Beach?
Unfortunately, cupid was not always on point with these two love birds. As they broke up several times over the years. But it was more of a case of break-up to make-up. "When I wanted to get married, he wasn't ready. When he wanted to get married, I wanted to wait.” said Ms. Neham. How many times can you seriously want to get married between the ages of twenty-two and twenty-six? Apparently, too many to count.
But after an ill advised move to LA of all places, Austin proposed and these two love birds were on their way down the Manhattan social wedding scene.
Even Ivana Trump was in attendance. All the other z-list celebrities were busy but luckily Ivana was available and more importantly her attendance got a mention in the article. The wedding planner deserves a bonus for this spark of genius.
There is still one final laugh to be had. The wedding toast by the best man: "I'm so happy she was able to whip Austin into shape," he said with a wink, "to succeed where all the shrinks had failed." Shrinks as in plural?! Good luck girl.
Time until the divorce: Three years
An incredibly funny, witty wedding announcement: priceless

Check out the Times story on MTV’s sweet 16 here
I have not seen the episode with LA Reid’s son, but I heard it was out control.

LA Reid with wife and son. I think someone's next party will be a "coming out" party.

Angelina is the new cover girl for People’s Ass Kisser’s most beautiful issue. I want to like her really I do! If I don’t have anything nice to say….. yeah right.

“Don’t even think of saying anything bad. I’m in a desert in Africa, with my poor former starving child accessory and I look absolutely beautiful pregnant.”

Jay and Bey are turning into one of my favorite couples. I love her facial expressions. This week they were busy taking in the NBA playoffs.

Giving the ref the evil eye.

Is Jay retired or not? According to the rumor mill, he’s working on a new album. The album will drop sometime next year. He should do a song with Talib on the new album, since lyrically
he says he would be Talib if wasn’t busy selling out making money. And then give Talib all the song royalties for “keeping it real”.


I’m sure everyone has heard that Britney is pregnant again. I guess all hope of a comeback is lost. Let’s just hope that she won’t let the new baby fall out of the high chair.

Unlike Angelina, pregnancy does not agree with Britney.


Tore-up twins

And finally what's a post without Nicole

"I'm trying out for the new movie: Honey I shrunk the kids 3"

Until next week kids!
K.V.

Damn Tired.

I made the blog public last week and now it’s available to anyone on the web. Even those that worship celebrities rather than berate them.
Was anyone else just plain bored by the birth of the alien Cruise baby?

Off topic: I’ve been a bit absent minded lately. I actually went to the airport on Tuesday for my flight and I hadn’t actually booked a ticket. I didn’t get to the office until late Tuesday afternoon, which overall was not necessarily a bad thing. I think the awful weather in Western Europe is finally getting to me. But don’t cry for me Argentina.
Since this week has been incredibly busy, my brother has helped me out with this week’s post. Thanks Randy! Guess which posts are his and which ones are mine.
There won’t be a book review this week. I’m catching up on some biographies- currently reading the biography of Richard Wright. If anyone wants to review a book or recommend a book e-mail me at: desperatelyfabulous@gmail.com

Random: Why do people think it’s okay to use the word bitch as part of their everyday vocabulary?

My favorite fashion reporter Robin Givhan won a Pulitzer this week- check out some of her handy work here: Wash Post

Mos Def did an interview with the Source magazine about the state of hip-hop. Some questions we need to start asking hip-hop artists. When will hip-hop stop degrading and overly sexuallizing black woman? It will make you dance but at what cost? Look to the Duke rape case for the answers to that question.

Mos Def quoted from the Source Magazine:
"Our priorities is gettin' f*cked. Lil Jon-I
love his music. But why are the East Side Boyz names Big Sam and Lil Bo? What the f*ck? What's next, Kunta and Kinte? The South should know better. This is the same country that ran up in Fred Hampton's crib and shot him in bed with his pregnant wife. You think the rules changed cause niggas got No. 1 records? What are we supposed to tell our kids? After Malcolm, Martin and Dubois we got Sam-Bo? I'm supposed to be down with that 'cause it makes me dance?"
"



Easy, breezy, beautiful, cover girl! Lovin' her hair. She must have finally found a professional hair stylist- perfect weave!!
Jay: "If you don't stop talking during this game"



"No, I'm not really drinking this can of Sprite. I just want people to think that food and liquids actually touch my lips"



I need to follow Janet’s lead and start getting SERIOUS (again) about going to the gym. I just got some sunglasses like the ones she's wearing and love them! They also look good on her.



Apparently someone cares about the birth of the cruise baby. Or maybe Tom hired them to wait outside his house- very likely.



Jamie Foxx was in London promoting his album. For some reason I didn't get the invitation to the party. Maybe some of Sade's class and non-famewhoring will rub off on Jamie.



Halle and her new man. Is that a bit of a pooch in the stomach area?

Although Whitney is now in rehab, it may be too late for Bobby C.






Unbreakable- hopefully. They're so cute!

Comedy Central is finishing the production of Chappelle show. In place of Chappelle, the last episodes will be co-hosted by "Chappelle's Show" co-creator Neal Brennan (the guy that stopped laughing with Dave and started laughing at him), and Charlie Murphy and Donnell Rawlings.

Hail to the Queen!

Happy Birthday! A bit imperialist but she does have to put up Charles.

That's all I got this week folks.
K.V.

All over the place!

This week's installment is all over the place. A book review,a new column and the regular gossip. The new column is called: "It's so funny because......." Those of you that are Simpsons fans know the answer to the sentence. Heavy on the snark/mean and not for those of the sensitive nature. After reading the column, you may comment and finish the sentence "It's so funny because....” You may NOT comment on why you don’t find it funny (sorry I make up the rules).

It’s been a pretty slow week. No alien cruise baby, no arrests, no more embarrassing pictures of Whitney. But Britney Spears did get a visit from the Child Protective Services this week. Apparently, the baby fell out of a high chair and fractured his skull. This is very serious, so I won’t comment but someone needs to step in on this situation. Momma Spears? Super Nanny? Can someone out there help the little guy? Random: Why did Britney and Justin break-up anyway?His relationship with Cameron is zzzzzzzz. And her relationship with the 'leech' is destructive.


Don't call it a comeback!
Update: After coming off the banishment list, Jennifer Lopez is making some headway in making a full comeback. She has a song out with tranny loving LL, which apparently the kids and radio are loving. I listened to the song over the weekend, and although it’s a hot mess, I could see the hit potential (a nice re-mix would help). I’ve created a chart, so we can all keep track of Jen’s comeback. I’m predicting a full comeback by the end of the year. If Ms. Lopez does anything to help or hinder her progress her chart will reflect such actions. If I miss any moments let me know.

Getting ready for the new album to drop. Janet has traded in the cupcakes for the gym.

On vacation with her man and family. She lost 22 pounds for the movie "Dreamgirls". The word is that she getting too skinny. But I think she looks GREAT! Nicole Richie, take note of how a fit, slim body should look like.




Another view. Why does Jay think that’s proper beach attire? Note to black men: It's okay to look like you're actually at the beach, instead of the basketball court. No one will think you're gay.


"It's so funny because.........."

Last week Jennifer Lopez made it off the banishment list. And since it’s close to Easter, I’m considering taking one more person off the list.

Angelina Jolie may be the next the lucky celebrity. She’s been an A-list actress, who has not made a decent movie in years but always seems to be on every cover of every magazine. Steals Brad Pitt away from America’s sweetheart and walks away without a scratch. How? Why? Do you ask…. it’s not the UN ambassador gig, No Angelina’s teflon is her accessory son Maddox.

I just think he is the cutest accessory kid ever! I see pictures of him in Paris, New York, Namibia, and I just think wow he’s awesome. I’ve had a little day dream were Maddox is my new accessory kid and we hang out at all the hot places, shopping and going to exotic locations. He would help me pick out a new bag for spring, tell me that the new pants I purchased looked great on me and then would pick out a matching shirt. He would fend off those damn paparazzi with his casual cool and funny faces. One particularly vivid part of the day dream is that Maddox and I are in Saint Topez, at the beach and he’s building sand castles and just sipping a glass of wine (I know he’s underage but doesn’t he look like he drinks wine?). And then we hang out at some ultra cool restaurant and since I don’t speak French, little Maddy orders for me. And of course I would never get tired of the mohawk. After a few years of just hanging out we decide to get a new accessory, kid, since I probably need a second opinion on that spring handbag. Maddox loves Africa, so we would probably look to get the new accessory kid (this time a girl) from Africa, although I’ve always been partial to South America. Maddy knows hip, so if he says Africa, it’s Africa! Plus I’ve read that South American accessories kids are so five years ago.
I have to find out where Angelina got the little accessory guy. I may have to stop day dreaming and get one myself. But with my luck I’ll get one that looks bad in a mohawk and can’t tell the
difference between a Gucci original and knockoff.

Cuter than any handbag. Louis eat your heart out!


Why is Brad trying to copy Maddox?



Who do you think would win in a fight between these two?







Keeping with Kimora it seems that she has been spending time with basketball loser Stephon Marbury.

Yuck!

That's all I have this week. Happy Easter!

Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

What makes a good book? For me, there are two types of good books; ones that are strongly character driven and ones that are storyline driven. A good character driven novel, allows the reader to know and understand the characters, making them real people. The story is just a vehicle for the development of the characters. Zadie Smith’s recent novel “On Beauty” is a perfect example. Smith understands her characters make them three dimensional and in turn, you relate to them on a very personal level.

The storyline driven novel is where the characters are merely actors in telling a great story. The characters are there to help you understand what the writer is trying to convey, what the writer wants you to know and contemplate. Detail is the key in a storyline driven novel- heavy on detail and substance. John Banville’s “The Sea” or anything by Banville is an example of the storyline driving novel.

This brings us to this week’s review of Gilead. Gilead is that rare novel that is storyline and character driven. The narrator, John Ames, is an dying preacher who has lived almost all of his life in Gilead, Iowa. John Ames is writing a letter to his young son, to be read after his death. The novel is very heavy on scripture and examines it in such a delicate and wonderful way that the reader feels a connection to the character and his faith. The central to the theme of the book is, that of the prodigal son, fathers and sons both spiritual and mortal. In my opinion Jesus is the definition of the prodigal son. Another theme of the book is about understanding those that we should know best, loving despite faults and that a parent’s love can never be explained. This is probably the most beautifully written novel that I have read in long time. Heavy on detail without being five-hundred pages, and spiritual without preaching. “We are all actors and God is the audience” One word : Perfection.

All celebs are crazy!

Thanks for the great e-mails and comments. A lot of you sent book recommendations, showing that my theory of being shallow and literary at the same time works!

Moving on....

I came across this picture last week. I decided that I love it!


Ryan Phillippe looking tasty...who knew Mr. Witherspoon could look so hot? Plus I love the fact the he's wearing the ipod shuffle. The shuffle is much like Ryan himself- underrated, sexy, and damn cute!

Looks like our girl lost the two pounds she gained recently.

"All my friends tell me this look is HOT in Ethiopia and North Korea"

I know some of you will disagree but I decided to "like" Jennifer Lopez again. She pretty much annoyed the hell out of me for so many years but not so much any more. She's been relatively quiet and things with the 'corpse' seem to be working out pretty well- which means that they will break-up.

Which brings me to the person that's taking her place on the banishment list...George Clooney. I was once a fan but his self righteousness grates and his misguided anger towards the Gawker site is sooo typical. Plus here is his definition of liberal: the fact that a black woman got an Oscar for playing such a wonderful and advancing role in 'Gone with the Wind' and he supported (along with all the other wonderful people in Hollywood) the win for not only Hatte McDaniel but for mammies the world over. Showing he/they are the leading authorities on all things progressive.

Jenny telling George: "I'm leaving and you're just coming, say hello to Star"

Who does Katie think she's fooling with that pillow? I was naive and believed that Katie could possibly be pregnant- Not Anymore! Poor thing, crazy-T must have mighty powerful scientology powers

Fake Hollywood pregnancy.

And a real Hollywood pregnancy.

Can someone please help this woman?!

UPDATE: It seems that last week’s story about Naomi and the assault on her maid was just a simple misunderstanding. Naomi needed a pair of jeans for an Oprah segment (you know the O ain't having just any old jeans on her show) and her maid could not find the jeans. It seems that the jeans were in another part of the apartment, which was the responsibility of another maid. See Naomi has two maids. Of course she got upset by this obvious miscommunication amongst her staff and threw her phone at the maid’s head. Make this be a lesson to all of us: we must not only be responsible of our own work but the work of our co-workers as well. We do not work on an island people!

Recently on the runway: Naomi showing that she's doing fine after her recent arrest.

Literary section: I have not yet finished Gilead. So far the book is going very well, so I should have a good review next week.

Until next week.

Ciao!

K.