Friday, September 29, 2006

Puffy is the black Liberace

I'm in a pretty smug mood today. I got into an intellectual tussle with Jonathan Frazen last night. I don't mean to brag- okay I do mean to brag. But I pretty much had him against the ropes on his critics, his condescending attitude and his lack of creativity when signing books. I'm sure he hates me now (along with everyone in the audience) but just one more person to add to my sworn enemies list.
Plus he just may be the most gifted and brilliant writer of his generation.

The man himself.

Puffy had a very expensive party for his trash of an album. But gotta love him for bringing the Liberace back to music.

Oh man I wish he would of had a Michael Jackson "Pepsi" moment. Is that just wrong?

So this is the new look for models? No wonder Nicole Richie has an eating disorder

Note to fashion designers: women are not meant to look like starving 12 year old boys.

And Jay-Z was in London finishing up his European tour this week. And the unbelievable part is that "fishsticks" Gwyneth Paltrow sang the hook for “Song Cry”. Okay I really need to hear this.

UPDATE Seek and you shall find. Here is the audio of Gwyenth singing. I hate to use the word singing.

After the show...wait a second isn't Jay still CEO of Def Jam? Why can't I get months off my job to pursue other interest?

Something seems weird about this picture. Maybe because Jay is surrounded by two annoying chicas.

I love Thandie Newton but hate this outfit! I may have to send this one to the girls at gofugyourself


Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Lifestyles of the Why Are They Famous?

Poor Bobby Brown, down to his last penny, he is now asking to be being paid in gifts. Before appearing on “I Married a Baller”(to all ghetto people reading this, they mean baller as in sports) Brown asked for a car. Not to be sent but to be given as a gift. This fool is out of his mind. Is he even worth a car? Just maybe a second hand 1997 Chrysler Town & Country LX Minivan

How much is Bobby worth?
-Last solo album was Forever in 1997
-He is a bit rusty and used in the face
-Does not run to much, weed after all makes you slow down
-He does have a large family to take... well he has a large family
Worth $6000, second hand 1997 Minivan is worth $6800

hard times

He does at least have Superhead to pay for his cellphone bills. Yes, Brown does have a Suga Mama. Now on to Ms. Suga Mama 2

Oh B! How could you make such a song as Suga Mama, “come sit on my lap?” Please tell me that song is a joke, right B? The whole album is messy, too hyper, she over sings. B, you are no longer in a group so there is nobody to fight to sing over anymore. Just take your time and do it right.

Catfish Eyes and Prettyboy are suing the king of gossip, the National Enquirer, because they said her fake marriage was fake. Who knows how far Star will take this since she does have a lot of extra time on her hands. Now that the spotlight is back on her maybe her waxy face will melt and she will go away.

Until next week, I leave you with rappin Duke (think back to Biggie Smalls)

Monday, September 25, 2006

Africa as a cause

As we all know Africa is the new pink. And any celebrity worth their ink, is down with Africa.
Madonna, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Bono, Kate Moss all love Africa.Does anyone see a common thread among the list?
To help these dimwits in their "it’s all about me Africa campaign", why don’t we assign them a country in Africa as their cause ‘de jour’. I know, I know, Brad and Angelina already took historically rich and literally starving though not anorexic Ethiopia. But there still are some good countries to be had. Madonna could have fascinating Zambia or maybe Uganda (but there is this long standing civil war in the north but more opportunity to make the issues about her).
Kate Moss could take Sudan. Sudan is a country filled with very tall people and there has to be a model somewhere that Kate can discover and take all the credit for delivering her out of a life of poverty. As for Bono what the hell, he can have all East Africa since he just looks great in Prada sunglasses (I prefer Gucci myself)- the kids in Tanzania love that look.

Kate Moss on the cover of the Independent's Africa/AIDS awareness issue. As you know Africa=AIDS

Unfortunately they could not find any Africans for the cover. I'm sure they made a huge effort.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Suspension of disbelief

Suspension of disbelief: refers primarily to the willingness of a reader or viewer to accept the premises of a work of fiction, even if they are fantastic or impossible.

Lars von Trier is one of my favorite directors. And one of my favorite Lars Von Trier movies is Dogville staring Nicole Kidman. The set of the movie is comparable to the set of a high school production of 'Our Town'. It took about 30mins into the movie for me to suspend my disbelief, an incredibly long time for a movie. But Lars did pull it off.
Which brings us to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. These two have been engaged for over a year and have a prop child together. Yet, I just still can not seem to suspend my disbelief in this production that is TomKat. I see pictures of them at soccer games playing the part and still I'm not convinced. I want to believe that Tom was crazy in love and not just crazy when he jumped on Oprah's couch. I want to believe that Suri is actually Tom's baby. I want to believe that Scientologist aren't qwacks. For pete sake's people this man was in 'Risky Business'. It's Tom Cruise!
But I'm still not buying it. So may I suggest that we buy Lars a ticket from Copenhagen straight to Hollywood to direct the production that is TomKat. Lars hates America but for TomKat I think he'd make an exception. TomKat needs a bit of art in this farce, someone that can make the unbelievable somewhat believable.
TomKat meet Lars Von Trier.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes "enjoying a children's soccer game"

Proving that actors are nothing without good direction.

Lars von Trier

The man that can save TomKat

Monday, September 18, 2006

I'm the Michael Schumacher of rap....

Jay Z made a trip to Amsterdam on Friday night. I actually attempted to get free tickets (this blog does count as journalism). Well I got a 'yeah right' and the people at the Heineken Music Hall never called me back. To add insult to injury my boyfriend had to work Friday night, so no luck in going to the after party at the coffeeshop.
So this is how you un-retire huh? I have mixed feelings on this one. The rap game is in such a sorry state that part of me welcomes Jay back. But then since he is the self proclaimed Michael Schumacher of rap then maybe he should act like it. Michael just announced his retirement after winning the Italian Grand Prix and will retire on top. Michael probably needs to give Jay a call.

Just are some pics from Friday's show in Amsterdam. Thanks OuXu

Still holding it up.

I heard Memphis Bleek was also in the house. What he’s still rapping? Since this isn’t an hip hop blog I’ll leave the subject alone.

He just can't stay out of his girl's closet

Kanye West and Fiancée during New York fashion week.


Thursday, September 14, 2006


Whitney is leaving Bobby Brown but was anybody surprised by this? I doubt it. Bobby lately has been hanging out with Superhead a.k.a Karrine Steffans. Karrine said they were just friends but with a nicknane like Superhead who can believe they were just hanging out.
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When they first were married many of us doubt it would last so long. Classy Whitney marrying bad boy Bobby? Crazy. But through it all they lasted 14 years. Had one child and suffered one public miscarriage.

After some time rumors started that Bobby was beating Whitney, that he had more children from affairs. Whitney's music career floundered and her supposed consumption of alcohol increased. Word was that she was hooked on drugs. Bobby's sister sold supposed photos of Whitney's bathroom which was dirty and littered with drugs.
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Meanwhile little Bobbi, their daughter, circulated photos via MySpace of her posing in a bikini poolside. Many were worried that she had health problems.

What is next on the agenda? Will this be very public with nasty words exchanged from both sides or peaceful for the sake of their child? Only time will tell.

In more artist news, R.Kelly will finial get his day in court. I hope he does not start peeing on the judge.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Allen get ya mama

Allen get ya mama…… and tell her she is too damn old to still be in the club “trying to keep it real”

Video of Allen Iverson's mom and how she keeps it real. No wonder he's a jackass.

Friday, September 08, 2006

I want a Eskimo baby!

I was infatuated with Maddox Jolie, that was until I saw the pictures of little Suri Cruise. Ah Eskimo babies are so cute. I want to go to that special Scientology place in sky where they make the little rascals and demand one before the official start of fall.
And if you still can’t get enough of the cutest Eskimo ever, go check out the coverage from our friends at Dlisted

Holy crooks Batman, there's the Joker #$!%^@

What the hell is wrong with Lil' Kim? We need to start a special center for people that like to mutilate their faces.

Barney Jessica Simpson "preformed" somewhere this week.

Not a good look

My favorite unemployed person Star Jones (outside of my family) spent some time relaxing at the US Open

She just can never take off the bitch face.

And Nicole Richie is on the cover of some magazine I've never heard of before.

Looking very cute. Her former BFF was arrested- not for that shit of an album she put out but for an DUI. Check out the coverage Here

Beyonce and Ducky (I like the new nickname) kicked off Fashion Week in NYC with a performance. can I say this? I hate the CD (although I posted on Beyonce's myspace page that is was great! I wanted a link back). I'm really hating the music business at this moment. I have a few questions.
1. How can you only put ten tracks on an new CD? You're almost demanding that I illegally download the tracks.
2. Where are the slow songs? That's something she can actually do pretty good.
3. Why so much hip hop? I know you're dating Ducky but enough already.
4. Not a question but rather a comment. Don't worry, I've also listened to Justin Timberlake's new stuff and it's shit! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise- two decent tracks top. The pop bar has been lowered. I'm sure both albums will move a couple millions copies.


Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Still crazy

The National Enquirer reports Katie cracks up and Tom had to have a reality check with her. The Enquirer said crazy Katie was nervous about their upcoming wedding. Yeah right! Most likely postpartum depression. Now that Tom has a taste of it he has said sorry for his rant against Brooke Shields. Tom Cruise is still a box of Cottonelle Rollwipes in my opinion.

On to the next group of people that should be sent some place north of Svalbard: Brad Pitts parents. They made a fuss out of Angelina drinking some wine at her child's birthday party. I am sure Maddox has two nannies and three PR people to watch over him. He was in no danger during the party. What they should be upset about is Brad messing around with Angelina, she is not the cleanest woman this side of Norway.

Beyonce and her pet duck billed platypus are getting married in late November now that her keeper, I mean father, has approved. He was on the fence because of the ducks drug dealing past. Look if you believe that ducky sold drugs then you are crazy. The duck has been rapping for years, he was a teenager when he started. He did not have time to do that while selling records. The guest list includes Kofi Annan (hahaha, sure ok, the head of the United Nations has time to make it to their wedding)

Last bit for three people I would buy first class tickets to Svalbard for, Paris Hilton (racist), and the Game, were hanging out with each other. Thank goodness I don't wear glasses, if I did the combined ugly would have broken them.

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Whose Child Is This?
Too dark hair color, with red hair showing, wig? à la Micheal Jackson?
Too much hair
It is so photoshopped

Friday, September 01, 2006

A flame is more than a candle

I’m sure most of you heard about the rumor that Ne-yo did a “Lance Bass” and came out the closet to Essence magazine. I got around twenty emails of the supposed interview. Well, it turned out to be “hoax”. Yes, Ne-yo is gay, he just didn’t admit to being gay to Essence or anyone other than the men down at the Delta nightclub. Before anyone even thinks of emailing me (as proof of his manhood )the supposed highjacked pictures from his sidekick of him being “serviced” by a female dancer, - let me just give you my credentials in this area.
1.I lived and went to college in DC- other wise known as the DL/Black gay man's San Francisco.
2.I once had a gay roommate, he taught me and my friends how to improve our gaydar.
3.The man is just GAY as hell

I rest my case!

And while we're on the subject. Stah and Al made an appearance.

Last week Al was seen again at the club sans Stah with his boys.

Hip Hop royalty

Why does Kelis look alive with personality? And Bey not so much.

And our 2nd favorite little crackhead may be getting engaged

Won't happen. Won't last. She loves putting stuff up her nose too much

And someone was looking "Real Gangsta" at the VMA awards.

I once had a little thing for Pharrell but now I could probably kick his ass.

She needs to be an assignment on 'Project Runway' on who could do the best job styling her out of the Tranny look.

Lace front weaves are nice

Except when you can see the lace. AGAIN! Fire your weave man.

And what do you think these two said to each other?

And I know we covered this in a previous post. But another photo of Aretha with her two twins fully exposed