Scientology

Worship Our Saviour Tom “New Christ” Cruise

New Chruise is the saviour of Scientology according to David Miscavige, the leader of the church. He will be worshipped in the future for bringing the awareness of Xenu and the pod-like aliens within all of us. How do you find out about these aliens inside of me, you may be asking yourself. Simple, you take a meter reading at one of the Scientology centers near you. After you take the E-meter reading you will be given a couple free lessons and personality test. Then you will be sent a bill for your free lessons and personality test.

How will this news affect Tom Cruise? Will he try to walk on water? Raise his wife from the dead? How about change Suri's pee to wine? Time will only tell but until I hear his new commandments I will remain a unbeliever.