Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Coming Out Fighting

Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

The women are about to wage a war. First, Brit dumped her dead weight K-Flop. Pamela Anderson is splitting with Kid Rock (who saw this lasting more than a year?) and word is that Beyonce might be getting rid of Jay-Z.

This can be seen as good news to some, such as the owner of this blog. But I was looking forward to seeing the results of a human and duck offspring. Imagine the wonder and knowledge that could be gained from such an event.

The rumored reason for the breakup is another woman. You see, Beyonce could have just went along with a threesome like Nas wanted with Kelis and Carmen. But no, she had to just make a song about dumping some guy. I hope she regrets pulling on Jay's belt like a whore in that seizure inducing video.

K-Flop seems not to be taking his latest bumps too hard. On a messageboard a guy that worked for a local newspaper tried to give away free tickets to a K-Flop concert. Only a few people showed interest and the only reason was because they wanted to go and heckle him. In the end the free tickets could not even fill half the show. Maybe Kevin will wake-up and go back to doing what he does best, making babies. Here is a Thanksgiving photo of him and his tribe:
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Pam, you crazy over-hyped PETA whore, what was going through your mind when you married Kid Rock (the guy has a son named Bob Jr.) Did he remind you of your trailer trash fan base roots? Was it the smell of his Irish Rose breath? Maybe the salty fried onion with a dash of garlic aroma of his armpits? Glad to see you coming to your senses at last. Let us pray that we never have to see or hear from Kid Rock again.
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In closing a tip to all men out there... if you are in just a little doubt about your marriage and you know that you have cheated on your wife and she bathed you in pepper spray after she went downtown on Jay-Z. Make sure to at least pamper her after the divorce because you do not want to end up like Nas, fodder for my updates.

One last tip do not tape yourself getting pegged(*the link is probably not suitable to view at work), like ADO Den Haags (Dutch soccer club) keeper Stefan Postma. Better yet do not tape yourself having sex at all. Who in the heck looks at those things afterwards anyway?


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