It's all about the ruffles

Well kids I'm heading to America. Just in time to watch the elections returns and the Democrats doing their best to lose before the voting begins. Should be fun!
And before we get to the 'mail bag' I have a few items that need to be addressed.

I usually leave fashion commentary to the wonderful ladies at gofugyourself but this picture of Jennifer Lopez at the Latin Grammy's leaves me in a state of utter confusion.
Red is my favorite color but for some reason it never really works for clothing. The body glitter looks great and if I decide to wear a similar number to the office Christmas party I'll be sure to use the same body glitter. But the ruffles, JLO you lost me at the ruffles.


And despite sluggish records sales Janet continues to surprise me. For one, her and Jermaine Dupree are still together, knowing Janet they're probably married with two kids (but must keep it a secret). And I love her new hair, it brings me back to her 'Control' days.


THE MAILBAG
The mailbag.......ask and you shall be answered. Here are some letters from our dear readers, some of the content has been changed for entertainment purposes or for clarity of entertainment purposes.

Dear DF,
Why is the blog so incredibly mean and negative towards celebrities?
Yada, yada, yada, (deleted because it was not entertaining).
Anonymous

Well Anonymous Reader,
Do you want the long version or the short version? It all started in the mid 80's when I was a regular viewer of the Cosby Show. The middle daughter Vanessa was my age, so in a lot of ways I identified with her.
Except that my father wasn't a funny doctor with very cool sweaters. Do you remember when Vanessa dated Robert (maybe you're too young)? But I had the biggest crush on Robert and absolutely hated that he “loved” Vanessa. From that day forward I became a negative and mean person because Robert should have been my boyfriend and it's my goal in life to make the world suffer because of my heartache.
DF


Dear DF,
I love the website but why don't you post daily?
Jennifer
San Francisco

Dear Jen,
Simple the girls at DF have full-time jobs. This is a hobby for pete's sake! A fun hobby.
Plus we try to give you actual funny commentary on the world of celebrities. Not the run of the mill comments like “This is a picture of Brad Pitt in a car” or “This is Halle Berry eating”.
But if we can get a few more funny writers for the blog then of course we would post more often.
DF


Dear DF,
My husband and I are considering adopting a Swedish baby! Those poor pale things. . . .we believe we can give him (or her!) a spicily ethnic experience. Imagine how cool his (or her) life would be with black parents!! But, of course, we would make sure to expose him (or her!) to his or her culture as much as we can. . .and if it’s a girl, definitely no cornrows. . .
E
Amsterdam

Dear E,
I commend you on considering adopting a child from Sweden. Did you know that Sweden has one of the highest suicide rates in the world? You would be saving that child from a horrible and certain death.
And I'm sure you would expose the child to their wonderful (if not backwards) Swedish culture. I put your efforts right up their with Madonna, Angelina Jolie and the rest of the wonderful humanitarians of the world
If it's a girl don't worry about the hair. This is minor, no one could expect you to know how Swedish people take care of their hair.
Good luck with the adoption! And if it doesn't work out you may want to consider a baby from Norway.
DF