Happy Birthday Britney Spears!

Dear Britney,
Congratulations on your 25th birthday. We at DF were so happy when you kicked K-Fed to the curb. But then you squandered that good will, by hanging out with the likes of Paris Hilton and greasy Brandon Davis. I’m ashamed that as a adult woman I even know who these people are, which is more reason for me to be angry at you for reminding me of that fact.
Look, Paris Hilton is not your friend. If you want to know how Paris values friendships call Nicole Richie. Paris Hilton would trade in her own sister for a front page picture of her Vajayjay on the National Enquirer. Oh wait, your Vajayjay is all over the internet after a night of partying with Ms. Hilton, so watch your back. Yes, Britney Spears flashing herself to the world! I know you're twenty-five but where are your parents?
Now even Fox News is calling you an unfit parent. And they think that George Bush should get the father of the year award. Although K-Fed is a worthless piece of trash, he may just make a better parent than you. Did you hear that? K-Fed could actually be a better parent than another human being? So clean yourself up and despite what Paris Hilton tells you, wearing underwear whilst in public is a good thing. Happy birthday and remember that children do not choose their parents but you can choose your friends.
Kind Regards,
DF

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