Blame it on the union jack

Naomi Campbell was arrested again this week for assaulting her drug counselor. I'm no psychiatrist (although I play one on the Internet) but I think Naomi has some serious issues.
I know it was tough for Naomi growing up black in Britain. Having to pretend that Rugby and Cricket were actually sports of significance. And that up until ten years ago it was almost impossible to find a good weave maker in Britain. Not having a good hairdresser can cause serious damage to a girl! But Naomi dear, it's time to move past those dark years. Britain has changed, didn't you get Tony Blair's memo on the new Britain? Let's move on girl.
I have an idea, Naomi needs to go on Oprah. I believe that an appearance on Oprah can solve all problems (Here's the evidence). But here's the twist, I'll also appear on the show taking Dr. Robin's place, since I highly question the fact that she's even a shrink based on her useless and whimsical advice. The three of us will get at the heart of the problem. And if that doesn't work Oprah can get Gayle to kick Naomi's ass.