Desperately Fabulous

Live!

2007-05-30T13:20:00.000+02:00

Our new site is live!UrbanStyle
We’re going to keep this site up for the time being. I know that some of you enjoy going through the archives.
The are still some kinks at the new site. But hey we’ve only been live less than 24hours- nothing is ever perfect.

Our New Home

2007-05-16T21:58:00.000+02:00

Want a preview of our new home? And don't forget to bookmark.
Our New Site!

UPDATE

2007-05-04T16:23:00.000+02:00

Checking in to let everyone know the latest news concerning the site.
Our new home is almost finished. And will launch May 29, 2007! We will have a new name to be disclosed later and we will be leaving blogger. Although blogger is a great tool, it's just not going to work with the new site. I'll announce the name and address here soon, so keep checking in.

The re-launch

2007-04-13T10:12:00.000+02:00

We will be taking a break to prepare for the re-launch of the site. The new Desperately Fabulous will be more comprehensive; covering not just gossip but more fashion, politics and news. We expect to be ready to launch by late May. Join our mailing list to stay updated on the changes taking place on the site. Send us an email with the heading 'mailing list': desperatelyfabulous@gmail.com

We’re also looking for talented writers. If you want to join our fun and dynamic team send us a writing sample and your area of interest (politics, gossip, fashion etc.) Send with the heading 'writing sample' to: desperatelyfabulous@gmail.com

And finally for the marketing and advertising students, we’re looking for an ad manager! Our future ad manger should be a sophomore or junior college student with a keen eye for detail and fresh internet marketing ideas. Interested? Send your resume and letter of interest to: desperatelyfabulous@gmail.com

Thanks and we’ll see you soon!
DF

All anorexics look alike

2007-04-04T20:15:00.000+02:00

I know it's been a good minute since I last post but the truth is this blog's days are numbered. I'm just not that interested in gossip anymore (politics is starting to heat up). Maybe I'll start a political blog soon but for now I don't have time to keep this blog going. So April (Friday) 13th will be our last post....

Is it just me or is Star Jones starting to look like Nicole Richie?

I thought that Evan Ross was the love child between Diana and Michael.

But I think Prince may have to throw his hat in the ring as a possible father.

49cents step away from Drucilla

And why is Halle so happy to get her Hollywood Star? Some crack head is going to vomit all over it by nightfall.

And after all the drama, Joss Stone's album debuted at number two. I'm sure her record company was happy with the result, so maybe Dallas actually was still on the payroll.

Where's the money?

2007-03-29T12:32:00.000+02:00

By RL
Desperately Fabulous Contributor.
Hello world, it's been awhile since I last post. I got caught up with March madness, the nice weather and a mild case of stomach flu. But I'm back........

Where's the money?
With record sales dropping lower & lower each week, what is an artist to do to make sure they can still make money? Most have turned to low budget videos and free internet promotion to get their records played. Sites such as MySpace & YouTube have provided artists with ways to show videos to the public without spending millions & millions of dollars. Case in point, Young Buck’s new video "Hold On" featuring 50 Cent has had over 5 million views over the past week on YouTube. While his first single released to MTV & BET called "Get Buck" is only got about 15 spins a day between the two networks.

Young Buck had this to say about the subject : "With the mixtape game being on hold the way it is, artists have to find other ways of getting their product to the people. MySpace & YouTube have saved a lot of artists time and money by giving artist a free platform to perform on. Not only for G-unit artist but for the artist who's just coming in the game and doesn't have the financial backing to put a video on MTV or BET now that artist can say he has just as much chance of being seen as a big name artist".
I know one thing if hip hop ain't dead..... It sure is broke!

March Madness
If your like me after about the first day of games you ripped up your bracket and wondered if Cinderella’s ass over slept this year. Well don't worry she woke up just in time for VCU to knock off Duke. But the rest of the tournament has basically played to form. Wisconsin lost to UNLV in a game that wasn't even close. The games from this past weekend proved to liven things up with Florida beating down Oregon, UCLA shocking Kansas, Ohio State running Memphis out of the gym and my Georgetown putting the smack down on North Carolina . For the first time in a long time all four teams have a legitimate chance of taking home the crown.

Hit & Miss
Tony Yayo of the infamous rap group G-unit is accused of slapping the son of Czar Entertainment boss Jimmy "Henchman"Rosemond. The boy was said to have been caught in the middle of a ongoing feud between his father and G-unit records. Now, I wouldn't want to mess with anyone with the nick name henchman.

Earlier this week rapper Eminem and ex wife Kim Mathers went before a judge to have a gag order put forth to have both parties stop bad mouthing each other in public.

Kim is going after the craziest baby momma award for 07'. Kim waited about ten minutes after the court hearing to go on HOT 97 and aired out some more of her ex husband’s dirty laundry. With logic that only a baby momma would understand, when ask why she was breaking the gag order she replied ‘because I just called him and he didn't pick up the phone’. Message to all baby daddy’s pick up the phone!

What? Strawberries are gay?

2007-03-26T20:26:00.000+02:00

Apologies for posting late. But one day we will get our act together at this blog.

Star Jones Celebrated her birthday over the weekend. Wow, Al is looking very non-gay these days-NOT! Come on Al, if you want to keep up this game, stay away from strawberries and cute guys at the gym.

Was it Gal's birthday also? Why is he all front and center?

And TomKat appeared somewhere. I'm posting this picture because it really shows how much taller Katie is than Tom. Must be awkward. But I'm sure it's not the only thing that's awkward in that relationship

An Britney left rehab by having a night out on the town. I'm sure her sons really don't know who the hell she is anymore.

And Tisha, what the hell are you doing girl? Ask your trainer to give your money back because that's not sexy.

And one last thing. I was watching Oprah at the gym, I made an exception since she had Nate Berkus on the show. A lady was getting her house decorated and Oprah brought up the Secret. She said something like "wow, you're living the elements of the secret. And that's how we live our lives" WTF? This was after I decided to give giving Oprah a break after she gave a free pass to Bill O'Reilly and having several shows dedicated to The Secret. Stop the madness Oprah. Others that think The Secret is ~~a scam~~ weird. HERE and HERE

The Ray-J and Kim sex tape.

2007-03-22T16:36:00.000+01:00

The Ray-J and Kim sex tape has been officially released. After watching a few minutes it became very obvious that this video was made to be sold. Secondly, Superhead is an honest woman, at least when she spoke about the package that Ray-J is working with. And thirdly, watching other people have sex is damn boring. I was doing my taxes while watching the video and to be honest I had to turn it off because my tax preparation was really getting interesting. Want to see the video? Be warned not safe for work, school, etc. View it here

Naomi Campbell showed up for work looking fabulous. See people this is how it's done. Why do some celebrities insist on covering up their faces when showing up some place they know will be filled with photographers? Own it, love it, wear it!

EMI executive responds to the Dallas Austin video

2007-03-19T17:58:00.000+01:00

Last week the internet was buzzing with a video clip featuring Dallas Austin on which he claims that Joss Stone and Christina Aguilera “F*ck for beats”.

Just in case you haven't seen the video:
View Here

After watching the video, we at DF immediately called our contacts at various record labels, hoping that someone would go on record responding to Dallas’ accusations.We could not get anyone that would officially go on record but we did find an EMI (the parent company of Joss Stone's label) executive that agreed to an 10 min. interview but only if we didn’t use names or titles. We agreed, our policy is that we protect our sources unless we’re sued or issued a subpoena and then all bets are off (just kidding).

Here is the complete interview with the EMI executive responding to video

DF: How did you first find out about the video and what was your initial reaction?
EMI: I heard about the video a few weeks ago, although I didn’t see it until last week. After it was sent to several people in the office by an intern. I wasn't shocked by what was said because if you spend any time in a studio those conversations are common place. You hear industry rumors inside any studio. But I was surprised that Dallas let himself be taped.

DF: Why were you surprised?
EMI: Because firstly some of the things he said I know for a fact wasn't true. Jordy was never his assistant and that he openly disrespected people he has no contact with.

DF: But I think now the perception is that certain female artists may have sex with producers for tracks, is that a correct perception?
EMI: I don’t know I can only speak for artists that I’ve personally worked with. I don’t know Christina, never worked with her. But I have worked with Joss and I know what Dallas’ said was bullsh*t. Joss has the backing of the record company, which essentially means that she has financial backing. She could have anyone work on this album because the record company backs the album and is willing to pay. Are there some conditions to that? Of course but the conditions are not financial but more business and legal. Joss didn’t need to have sex with anyone to get them to work on the album. Common and Lauryn are the album, so by Dallas' logic does it mean she had sex with them also?

DF: Do you know of any producers that have sex with artists?
EMI: Look, people spend a lot of time in the studio together, so yes relationship are forged. But I don’t know of anyone offering sex to a producer for tracks. At least no artist with a record contract. Producers get paid money, nothing is done for free in this business. And no top producer is going to lay down tracks for any artist without knowing that the financial backing of the record company is there.

DF: What do you think the repercussion in the industry will be of the video?
EMI: Who knows, maybe more attention to the male domination of music producing. Maybe producers focusing more on music.

DF: Any personal repercussions?
EMI: (long pause). For Joss, this could be actually positive. I mean if she keeps her cool. She’s only 19 and has a lot to learn. But she can grow from this. As for Dallas, I don't know. I know, I would never send any young female artist into the studio with him and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Editor's note: There were a lot things I didn't get to ask. Like reactions to Joss' interview with Allhiphop.com- maybe we can get a follow up.....

British Invasion

2007-03-16T15:48:00.000+01:00

There seems to be a new British Invasion being lead by a trio of female singers. The buzz around Lily Allen, Joss Stone and Amy Winehouse is reaching new heights. Not so surprising when the top American female pop singers are otherwise occupied. Britney Spears in rehab, Christina Aguilera in a time wrap, Beyoncé more occupied with 'acting' and shitty fashion and Lauryn Hill still MIA.
The queen of this British hype has been Amy Winehouse. Amy has received rave reviews from almost every music blog, the Washington Post and now she's sitting pretty with the number one CD on Amazon.
I was lucky enough to see Amy live in concert last month and was blown away by her stage presence. I finally got a chance to listen to the album and that same presence seems to be missing. I understand why everyone wants to love this album, Amy writes very honest and personal music. The problem is that on some tracks the production over powers Amy's very powerful voice. The balance of strong horns and strong vocals never really comes together on the album. When the balance does comes together it comes together beautiful as on tracks 'Love is a losing game' and 'He can only hold her'. Both tracks are something out a Motown classic album and Amy's vocals carry the music and not the other way around. Is the album worth the hype, probably not but until something better comes along let's bask in an female artist who writes, performs and is honest with her music.
3 0ut of 5 stars

Conflict diamonds

2007-03-15T16:28:00.000+01:00

I've never been a fan of Fabulous. His rapping pretty much sucks but my dislike was very much indifferent. Until this clown made a video celebrating diamonds.

I don't know maybe the video was sponsored by DeBeers. I thought Hip-Hop was at a turning point, when even Kanye West is speaking out against conflict diamonds and 50cent is toning it down. I don't expect rappers to be the most politically acute people but there is now a major motion picture outlining the horrors of conflict diamonds. And when rebels in Sierra Leone played hip-hop music when raiding villages, then yes hip-hop has some responsibility.

for the love of diamonds

The world is going to hell and Dallas is the proof

2007-03-14T17:37:00.000+01:00

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've probably heard about the two teenagers in Dallas, Texas that videotaped themselves giving a two year old marijuana. I know what your thinking: 'where were the parents'? Don't worry, the parents were down stairs playing cards. The Fox News channel has gone on record as saying that Hip-Hop is partly responsible for the teenager's behavior. Now I don't know about you but I like Snoop Dog but he never made me give a two year old baby marijuana. In the famous words of Chris Rock "what happened to crazy, you can't just be crazy anymore?"

Hit & Miss

The 50 cent & Cam'ron beef has hit an all time high. Cam'ron released another 50 cent diss video and song. Which means 50 cent/Curtis should have his reply to that right about..... now!

Kanye West's mother is writing a book called "Raising Kanye". A better title could be "How I raised an egotistical brat" I wonder which chapter Kanye tells her he's gay.

kanye and moms

Comedian Tracy Morgan went off during a recent interview with an El Paso,Texas television station. I love it when comedians do spontaneous acts like this that are actually FUNNY!

Producer Timberland wants to help Britney Spears. Timberland said he wants to keep Britney from all the bad people currently in her camp. He has also asked Justin Timberlake to be part of the intervention. Reportedly, Justin agreed but only if Britney becomes serious about making music. Well, what about Whitney Houston, Timberland huh? She's been on that stuff and with Bobby Brown for the past decade, you can't help her?

Game Theory

2007-03-13T17:47:00.000+01:00

I know the posts on this blog have been somewhat infrequent. But we're going through some changes and hopefully next week we'll be back to posting 4x per week!

I rarely watch T.V. since there is rarely anything on my television (I don't have cable). Sunday night was different, by accident I watched the series 'The Trap'. What is 'The Trap' you ask? Well it's a series on BBC2 which explains "the origins of our contemporary, narrow and limited idea of freedom." (those of you in N. America may be able to watch the show on BBC America)
Sunday night 'The Trap' focused on 'Game Theory'. No! Not the Root's latest album but the theory that humans are always out for number one and good deeds are only done when they are in the self interest of the person doing the good deed. Interesting stuff, right? But you're probably wondering what does this have to do with gossip.....

photo courtesy Just Jared

photo courtesy Just Jared

Well guess who decided to show up at a refugee camp in Chad with a photographer and Newsweek? Angelina Jolie, the master of Game Theory

I'm bored...the week in review

2007-03-09T21:26:00.000+01:00

I didn't post this week because basically the gossip this week bored the shit out of me.

Whitney Houston and Ray-J made an appearance for the cameras, promoting their "relationship"

I don't even want to know what's going on there.

Star Jones was out to promote some crappy new show on Court TV. Proving once again it's never to late to use her lawyer skills.

I don't like the new look. I'm sure Al demanded that she get her body shape closer to looking like his ex-boyfriend's.

Selma Hayek is pregnant and engaged. Some rich French guy is the father.

Selma and her man.

And Newt Gingrich finally admitted that he was having his own affair during Clinton's impeachment hearings. But claims he's not a hypocrite ~~since he didn't get caught~~ because he didn't lie about the affair under oath as President Clinton. I'm going to stop reading the National Enquirer since I blame them for not finding out about Newt's affair and blowing this shame back then.

Dolce & Gabbana are pulling an ad after groups complained that the ad promoted violence against women.

The guy pinning her down is obviously gay and may have just wanted to try on her swimsuit. So, relax people.

Strange Pairings

2007-03-05T17:47:00.000+01:00

This will be a short post since I'm dealing with a serious cold. I thought it was on it's way out but it came back with a vengeance yesterday.

I've tried not comment on Evan Ross, the son of Diana Ross. For one he's not famous and two he creeps me out a bit. This weekend Evan showed up at the NAACP Image awards wearing this....

All that's missing are the rhinestones. I also want to know if Michael Jackson contributed any of his DNA to the creation of Evan because something just does not add up with this guy.

Evan's idol or possible father???

And someone please tell me that rumor of Djimon Hounsou and Kimora dating are not true! The two have been seen all over town making out since Oscar night. I don't know what to make of this.... but Djimon, you in danger girl!

Week in Review

2007-03-02T23:24:00.000+01:00

This week the Rocks went on Oprah playing the happy family and promoting Chris' new movie 'I think I love my Wife'. This is after reports that Chris and Kerry Washington his co-star are an item on and off the set and that she broke up her engagement because of her relationship with Chris. Damn, there are two women willing to put up with Chris' loud ass mouth?!

Does Kerry Washington want to be the new Ms. Rock?

And ANS is finally on her way to the Bahamas to be buried next to her son. I need to get over my addiction to ANS and move on....

And according to TMZ Puffy punched an man after trying to get the man's fiance to leave the club with him. I hear a big fat lawsuit. Now, we know where Justin is learning his behavior. Doesn't Puff have newborn twins and a crazy girlfriend to look after?

And Bobby Brown was arrested for back child support payments. He was released after a DC radio station posted his bail in exchange for a week of hosting a radio show.

George Lucas hit up the Oscars with his new woman. Millionaire banker Mellody Hobson. Well go on then George.....

And finally, the Jolie-Pitt family is adding another baby. This time the globe stopped on Vietnam. The adoption papers were filed this week and the adoption could be finalized by early next week. Now if only she put some effort into improving her horrible acting abilities....yawn!

Better late than never

2007-03-01T00:06:00.000+01:00

By R.L.
Desperately Fabulous Contributor

I know this post is almost two weeks late but things have been busy and the editor went on an extended vacation. Let's break down the events I attend during the NBA all-star weekend.

The Good
Celebrities where everywhere and for the most part most were willing to stop and talk for a minute. The biggest star surprise came when I ran into 50 cent at the Palm's Casino. After letting his ten 300 pound bodyguards know which blog I wrote for and then saying I thought rappers Cam'ron & Ja rule were whack. His bodyguards went and got him for me and before you knew it I was giving dap to the biggest rap crew in the business, well not height wise but you know what I mean. After a few drinks 50 and his crew had to make their way out to a club appearance but 50 cent made sure that if I wanted to stay and drink it would be on his tab. The funniest part of our meeting was when some girl in the distance said is that Mase with 50? See and some white people tell me I look like Pharrell Williams.

* Women, Women & Mo women! To all the young ladies that conducted themselves in the right way all star weekend I say "thank you". I was little worried that having All Star weekend in Vegas would be like having Mardi Gras in a casino. Most young ladies I saw weren't dressed like they where going to a Lil' Jon video shoot but rather like young women going out to have a good time. Majority of the ladies I came in contact with were on vacation from work, school or just wanted to take in All-Star weekend. I've always said in order for women to start finding good men they must first start being good women & if the women in Vegas are any indication men have a lot to look forward to.

The Bad

* Have you ever heard the praise "too many people can spoil the party"? That's exactly what it was like on the strip during one day in Vegas. It got to the point by Saturday I was taking the monorail back and forth because the streets were just too packed with people. While walking along the strip I heard an elderly man say if this many people would have came out and voted, George Bush wouldn't be president. Like Kanye West said 'we can't make it to the ballot box to choose leadership but we'll make it to All star games & to the dealerships'.

* If I see a another grown ass man in a white T-shirt I'm gonna call his momma. I saw so many white shirts during all star weekend I thought the Klan took over the strip. I think white t-shirts should only be sold to kids under 18 because it's obvious grown ass men just don't know how to dress anymore. And then some what to turn around and say that a women is stuck up because she won't talk to them. Think about it, do you think your father got your mother by wearing a white t-shirt?

Hit or Miss Rumors

* I know most of you already have heard or seen Britney Spears on crack. First she shaves her head then she shows up at Kevin Federline's house demanding he bring the kids out of the house. The only problem was that it was 3 o'clock in the morning & raining outside???? I know one thing is for sure Christina Aguilera is somewhere saying "I told you that bi*ch was crazy"

* Rapper Foxy Brown was arrested again for assault in South Florida after a disturbance broke out in a beauty supply store over hair glue. Now I could say something funny about this but if she's fighting over hair glue for some reason I think she might come looking for me & honestly I don't need those problems.

* Ciara has categorically denied that she has a relationship with 50 cent. Whenever you have to categorically deny anything it's most likely true.

*Puffy's son Justin was sighted this week getting lap dances at some club, the problem was he's only 12. When ask about this Justin just said "take that, take that".

* Rapper Akon said this week that he could have had Beyonce & Alicia Keys at one time but chose not to? Have you people seen Akon? I'm going to take a guess and say this, he's off that purple stuff with this. I mean if you're going to lie about women wanting you at least stay in your same field buddy. As Jay-z would say "We don't believe you, you need more people"

Just in time for Oscar.....

2007-02-26T12:33:00.000+01:00

Well, after a nice extended vacation I'm back on the job. And my vacation was great except that I could not stop watching the Anna Nicole Smith hearing. It was like crack, I knew it was trash but I could not stop watching.
Last night was the Oscars and there really weren't too many surprises. This year I only managed to see 'the Queen' and 'the Departed'. But I do have a bootleg copy of 'the Last King of Scotland' and I plan to watch it tonight. Since I can't really comment on the awards.....let's talk fashion.

It seemed that there was a color theme this year. Beyonce came wearing white. I'm not feeling the dress it apperas her mother stole the dress from the Ms. Universe evening gown segment. And Cameron Diaz looks like Dallas debutante in her dress. Not a bad thing just not what I think Ms. Diaz was going for with her selection.

And some wore black. Meryl Streep may just be the best actress of her generation but what god gave her in acting her took away from her fashion sense. Cate Blanchett got blessed in both departments and has my vote for the best dressed woman of the evening. I can't comment on the other woman since I have a new policy that if you are an adult woman you must weigh at least a hundred pounds to receive recongnition on this blog.

And some wore blue. Reese Witherspoon looks good, her blond hair contrast well with the blue dress. Maggie Gyllenhaal not so good. Maggie, when you have a little pouch it's not a good idea to wear a form fitting dress.

Jennifer Lopez looks fantastic! Is it because the corpse is standing more than 2 feet away?

Jennifer Hudson was a winner but not with her dress. It makes me want to fall asleep and what's up with the Captain Kirk silver jacket?
Naomi Watts look gorgeous but can someone tell me what movies she's actually been in?

And some wore pink. Penelope Cruz may be the only person able to pull off wearing a family of pink flamingos. The long blond hair on Reese looks flattering and mature and just the opposite on Gwyneth Paltrow .

Did I miss someone? Who do you think was the best dressed?

Cutrain Closing

2007-02-15T12:54:00.000+01:00

*Editor's Note: This will be Ciena's last post NOT the last post of this blog. The other writers will be back on board next week after a much needed break. Please keep checking back and thanks for your support!

Big thanks to Queen Latifah for saying she would like to adopt a child, from the inner city. To many children in the US are waiting to be adopted. Once they turn 18 years old they are left out on the streets. Black children are the hardest to place and far to often fall through the cracks. Sadly the United Nations agrees.

Congrats to Obama on his choice to run for office, a word of advice from a communications student, let it all come out now. Do not wait for any past drug use (which you did do) or hidden children or gun ownership come out from the other side. Let your people put it all on the table.

Now on to some happy or sad news depending on if you like my updates: Today is my last update. Between school and work I just do not have the time anymore to write updates. I would like to give some advice to the following people:

Bobby Brown: Stay off the drugs. Get your life together not only for yourself but for your daughter. She needs both parents and right now it looks like she has no parents around to guide her.

Nas: Pick up a book and read it. Sometimes you rap about knowledge but you sound like a fool. You can not place a persons ashes in a diamond.

Jada Pinkett: Rock on girl! I love how you do your own thing, not afraid to be yourself, keep up the good work.

Halle Berry: Call Jade and Latifah, learn to love yourself

Paris Hilton: Never mind you would not follow my advice anyway!

You: Thank you for reading this, thank you for supporting this blog, thank you for being you

Death of Anna Nicole Smith

2007-02-09T13:52:00.000+01:00

First let me apologize for the infrequent posts. But I'm currently on vacation and the other writers are currently working on other things. So bear with us for the next two weeks until we're all back on board.

I'm sure everyone has heard about the death of Anna Nicole Smith. Which is a sad a tragic story, although it just happened yesterday and CNN is acting like the president died. What's even more creepy is that CNN showed an old video of Anna' mother shortly after the death of Daniel (Anna's son) telling Anna to be careful she may be next. Anna's mother believes that Daniel was murdered.
And if the story just could not get anymore tragic, it's still a mystery who's the father of Anna's daughter. Whomever the father really is, he will control Anna's money. And if you've seen the two contestants for the job then....let's just say we all need to say a prayer for little Danielynn Hope.
For more coverage please visit our friends at DLISTED

The Super Bowl Edition

2007-02-05T13:40:00.000+01:00

I stayed up late last night to watch the game. Which started at 12:30AM CET for the record. I think the NFL should ask the city of Miami for a refund due to the bad weather. Isn't the point of having the Super Bowl in Miami is the guarantee of good weather?

So the game was all fun and good but let's talk about the important stuff. Halftime......
Usually the halftime show is pretty lame with the exception of boob-gate but that was fun after the fact. And part of the reason I stayed up was to watch my man Prince. Not even rain could stop the man, in fact the rain and the smoke seemed all part of the show. About two minutes in, I started to get hyped and began singing along to the songs. Which at about 2:30AM, my neighbors could surely appreciate.

Watch the performance and start singing. Oh, only Prince could rock that bandana.

And what's a Super Bowl without commercials?

The winner for best commercial of the night goes to Chevy. TI killed it!

And 1st runner-up......

And 2nd runner-up. Nice to see K-Fed make some money.

And honorable mention goes to Oprah and David Letterman. I'm sure the commercial made Gal very jealous.

Now, don't be scared

2007-02-02T17:09:00.000+01:00

I was excited when I heard that the Nets were moving to Brooklyn. Since I plan to move to the BK at the end of the year, the Nets move went well with my Biggie Small dreams. Well stop! Hold the presses. It was announced that the UK based Barclay's bank has just paid 400million over twenty years for naming rights for the new Nets arena. That would be fine and good except that the founding fathers of Barclays made their fortune from their ownership of slaves. Now, I'm not one to dig into corporate pasts or anyone's past for that matter. A friend once told me that 'no fortune is ever clean' and truer words were never spoken. But since Jay went all postal on Cristal for their supposed diss of hip-hop, he has now has raised the bar. If he accepts the millions from Barclays does that mean that dissing hip-hop is more offensive than a corporation with a past that exploited thousands of people?

sometimes he can look like a real nerd.

In other news Eddie Murphy is beefing up his security. Apparently he's running scared from some Scary Spice/Mel B fans. I'm more shocked that Scary still has fans. If you happen to know any Scary fans please email me, I may have an idea for a interesting documentary.
Eddie is afraid that Scary's fans will try to attack him as he makes his Oscar rounds.
And on a side note, I've heard that the child Mel B is carrying just might not be Eddie's. The rumor is that Mel B. and Eddie had a deal to pose as a real couple to help further along their careers. Part of deal was to also cover up that both of them are gay. Everyone has known about Eddie's alleged homosexuality for years but I had no idea about Scary. But just who isn't gay these days? The deal went south probably after Eddie realized that he really didn't need Mel B. as a beard or anything else for that matter. I'm sure Johnny Gill hated her ass. As for the child my source told me that Mel B wanted another baby very badly and may not have waited for Eddie to get her pregnant.

Running scared

And TMZ.com has obtained pictures of Michael Jackson's children.

Prince Michael I and Paris

And little blanket.

I dare say that kids are cute but what's going on with Blanket's hair? And I don't know who's children they are but their not Michael Jackson's, son of Joe, brother of Tito, Rebe, Janet and Latoya and uncle of 3T.

Nasty and Naughty Girls

2007-02-01T07:47:00.000+01:00

New facts I learned about Paris while reading her diary:
She stopped having sex for a year because she had a STD
Likes Hello Kitty and smokes tampons

Here are some of the highlight videos:

Paris in Bed 1.mov of size 15.202 MB
http://www.filefactory.com/file/8ba298/

Paris in Bed 2.mov of size 9.523 MB
http://www.filefactory.com/file/43ca77/

Poor Brandy, she is being sued for $50 million for a fatal car accident. Her SUV crashed into another auto during a traffic jam. If this was anybody else would the family sue? Of course, it is America! Does she even having $50 million? Full Moon was not a huge hit.

And Crazy Carey is posing for Playbody but she does not show it all. She fits more in with 'King' and their backshot of the month than Playboy. Lots of beans and rice. Check out Rap-Up for more information.

For Wu-Tang fans the clan is getting back together to record a new album, please Wu no U-God!

Hip-Hop is dead and Paris is alive a kicking

2007-01-30T10:09:00.000+01:00

By R.L.
Desperately Fabulous Contributor

Hello world, hopefully I didn't leave you needing your gossip fix for too long. Lucky for me, I'm related to the editor of this blog and I can turn my stories in late without getting fired. Wish it was like that on my day job.

Paris Unedited
When I started this job there were two things I promised to never talk about, Paris Hilton and the handicapped. Just when you thought or even hoped Paris wouldn't do anything else stupid, she strikes again. The latest in a long line of mistakes for this Hilton sister, is forgetting to pay a storage bill of a whopping$ 200 bucks. For those of you that don't know how storage works, if you don't pay your bill your property becomes the property of the storage company. This is when this story turns into truly a Paris Hilton story . Among her property was a home video tape of Paris and friends (Nicole Richie) having sex, doing drugs and being down right nasty. You know you're nasty when a young man like myself has to say "cut that nasty sh*t off". Rick James is some where in Heaven right now looking down like "Cocaine is a hell of a drug".

Nicole Richie is a)licking her plate after some good dessert or b)not letting good coke go to waste

Save the Drama for your Mama
This past week in Atlanta world famous DJ Drama & Don Cannon had their Atlanta offices raided for what most are calling DWB (DJ'ing while black). Both of these well known DJs are being charged by the RIAA better known as the hip hop cops, with selling bootlegged CDs. While some are saying the charges are all a misunderstanding and the two DJs are just at the bottom of the totem pole and the RIAA actually have bigger fish to fry. RIAA responded to this by saying "we're not against mixtapes, we're against people making a profit off music which is not theirs". You mean to tell me that's it's illegal to sell something that is not your's for a profit ? Damn it, makes you think where was the RIAA during slavery?

We be clubbin'
If you play in the NBA your days of playing ball all day and hitting the club for some groupie love at night might come to an end. Basketball commissioner David Stern (the basketball version of George Bush) wants to have a policy that would not allow NBA players to visit nightclubs during the season. He says that almost 60 % percent of all incidents with NBA players happen in or around nightclubs, I guess the other 40% percent happens in or around hotel rooms in Colorado. I personally hope that this doesn't happen because the all-star game will be in Vegas in two weeks and if the NBA players ain't at the club who's gonna give me their left overs? David Stern, if you're reading this (and you should be since you're on my friends list on myspace) let the players play!

David Stern

Hit & miss
*Kanye West has been working on a new album set to release this spring, called "Graduation" and word on the street this will be his last album with Roc-a-fella records.
*Rosie O' Donnell was back in the news last week she called for President Bush's impeachment on her morning television show. If Bush was smart he would just call Donald Trump to handle his light work. I like Rosie but if her & Donald would have been on the show "yo momma" Donald would have walked away with $1,000 cash money.
*Jay-Z has been hired on by Coca-Cola to help relaunch their product. I guess the new slogan will be "If we can sell it, you can drink it

Week in Review

2007-01-26T16:59:00.000+01:00

The cast of Dreamgirls hit up the London preview of the movie

What's that under Beyonce's arm? She does know that you can buy invisible deodorant. Mama Tina is definitely off her game.

And if that wasn't bad enough? The lace front that night was looking beat down. YUCK!

Katie Holmes attended a fashion show in Paris looking gorgeous. Of course her great look was due to the dark light of Tom Cruise being absent.

And Tyra Banks does not give a f*ck if people think she's fat. She's too busy counting her Oprah Junior money. Telling People Magazine:
I’ve made millions of dollars with the body I have, so where’s the pain in that? If I was in pain, I would have dieted. The pain is not there – the pain is someone printing a picture of me and saying those (horrible) things.

5'10 and 161 pounds could only be fat in Hollywood and to gossip bloggers. And for the record we never posted the "fat" Tyra swimsuit pictures.

And parents lock up your sons because Michael Jackson has returned to the US. His exact location has not been reported, so keep those boys locked up until further notice.

And guess who was seen with a woman? Someone that we reported last week had a disgruntled ex boyfriend. Yes, none other than Neyo! Good way to respond to those rumors.

Why is he fully clothed on the beach?

Update: Isaiah Washington is now in rehab working on his issues. Earlier this week I called for his firing but I may recant. Let's hope he works things out.

Scientology

2007-01-24T17:44:00.000+01:00

Worship Our Saviour Tom “New Christ” Cruise

New Chruise is the saviour of Scientology according to David Miscavige, the leader of the church. He will be worshipped in the future for bringing the awareness of Xenu and the pod-like aliens within all of us. How do you find out about these aliens inside of me, you may be asking yourself. Simple, you take a meter reading at one of the Scientology centers near you. After you take the E-meter reading you will be given a couple free lessons and personality test. Then you will be sent a bill for your free lessons and personality test.

How will this news affect Tom Cruise? Will he try to walk on water? Raise his wife from the dead? How about change Suri's pee to wine? Time will only tell but until I hear his new commandments I will remain a unbeliever.

Saving Grey's Anatomy

2007-01-22T21:48:00.000+01:00

Things are not going good on the set of Grey's Anatomy. I loved this show almost immediately, since it's set in my hometown, plus the cast is diverse and good looking. Then season one ended and Grey became an pathetic anorexia whiner and McDreamy became an emotional blackmailer. But hey it still made for great TV and the supporting cast was stronger than ever.
So why did the cast of this show have to go and fuck things up? Just to recap the events. In October, Isaiah Washington referred to to T.R. Knight as an F*ggot. TR and other cast members overhead and T.R. immediately called People Magazine to make a stand. Now, I've always found something a little off about Isaiah Washington but we all make mistakes. Then crazy Isaiah goes and repeats the word after the Golden Globes and lies about saying the word back in October. Which then leads T.R. to go on Ellen to cry about it. Oh and in between all this co-star Katherine Heigl also makes a statement to reporters. Got that?
Here's the deal Isaiah needs to be fired. Which is difficult for me to say since Dr. Burke is probably my favorite character on the show. And it may be even more difficult for the creator of the show Shonda Rhimes. She was quoted back in October as saying: "I found (those rumors) not only ridiculous but offensive that we would consider replacing a member of our family. And also the (idea) that one black man was interchangeable with another seemed disturbing to me." Yes it's disturbing but an actor on one of the most ethically diverse casts in television can not go around using the word Faggot. I propose that Isaiah be replaced by Morris Chestnut and then Isaiah needs to go some where and work on his issues.

The back-up

As for T.R. Knight things are a bit more complicated. I hate to blame the victim but if you overhear a colleague referring to you as a Faggot then you don't call People magazine to “make a stand by coming out”, you make a stand by going directly to the producers and demanding some action. And when that colleague uses the word again, you don't go crying on the Ellen Show, instead you call the president of ABC demanding action. Because of the media circus the focus is now on T.R.'s homosexuality. And since the Hollywood standard is that gay men can't play straight expect Dr. O'Malley to come out the closet by the end of next season.

Getting teary eyed on Ellen

The PR golden rule is that cast of hit shows keep their business out of the media. There were claims of racism on the set of Seinfeld(which Michael Richards proved to be true), personality clashes on Sex and City and drug use on Frasier. But each cast handled the situations internally to keep the cash flowing. To save this show from itself let's get Morris on the cast and a good PR rep stat!

American Weirdo

2007-01-19T16:18:00.000+01:00

Hello world, after a week long break I'm back on my job. American Idol started it's 6th season this week with a bang. If you missed Paula Abdul appearing on Fox 13 higher than Bobby Brown at a New Edition reunion concert then you missed something craziness. Just as strange as the interview was the reason her publicist gave for as excuse for Paul's craziness. Her publicist stated that the reason Paula appeared as such (meaning high) was because she was exhausted from all the interviews she had been doing. Exhaustion didn't look like the problem, the problem was she didn't let the crack high wear off long enough before doing the interview. I'm not the smartest man in the world but I do know a crack head when I see one.

Did someone say sex tape?

Leave it to Brandy's brother Ray J to up the ante with celebrity sex tapes. Ray J was recorded giving Kim Kardashian a women he used to date a golden showers during one of their sexual encounters. I know Ray J said R.Kelly was his Idol but damn can't you just be a fan like the rest of us? What makes this story even crazier is the fact that the tape is gonna be sold to the highest bidder, and last reported talks were well over a million bucks! If you really think about it Ray J is gonna make more money off this sex tape, than he did off his last album Raydiation. I guess we all know what Ray J's song 'One Wish' was really about.

Who is really Irreplaceable?

I know we told you about Ne-yo being the real writer of 'Irreplaceable' last week but some very interesting facts about this situation have recently surfaced. Now this gossip has been on my desk for a while now and out of respect for the Ne-yo I would usually brush it to the side. But this is just to juicy to hold back. Now we all have heard the rumors that Ne-Yo is gay. Ne-Yo has obviously stated many times that he is not gay and even released pictures of himself having sex with a woman. A source close to Ne-Yo recently released a statement saying that Ne-Yo did in fact did write the song because he knows the guy who inspired the song. The source goes on to say that Ne-Yo & this unknown guy broke up because the guy repeatedly told Ne-Yo he would be happier with someone else. I don't know what to think about this whole thing but there's a saying: If one person says it then it's a rumor, if two people say it then it's a lie, If three people say it then it's the truth.

Crashing the party with a little OJ

2007-01-17T09:52:00.000+01:00

I am starting to fall in love with Jamie Fox. The first butterflies were felt when he pulled out a fan to cool Kanye West big head while he was giving a thank you speech after receiving an award for Gold Digger. When asked why he felt the need to pull out a little Fox said, ''Somebody needed to cool that nigga down''. Now he told the press about his recent party and who the party crashes were such as, Paris Hilton passing out drunk (why was her racist butt even invited?), OJ trying to break his hand during a handshake. He goes on to continue his beef with Eddie Murphy by saying he wears leather pants that are too small and nobody says anything about it. Now Jamie, that was a long time ago, Eddie has not wore those tight ass pants in public in years. I do not doubt he wears them around the house with his boyfriend Johnny Gill. But really no need for bring up old stuf. What really set my heart on fire was his comment or truth telling about Janet Jackson, "She whispered her entire album. I said, 'What's wrong with my speakers?' " Yes we all wonder what is wrong with our speakers when we hear her mumble her way though a song. That shy little girl crap stopped being cute about the end of Good Times Penny.

More OJ news the guy really does get around, he crashed a video shoot for Ludacris and Superhead. He decided to grind on Superhead (who hasn't?). The video was never released so I guess the only we are going to see it is if somebody leaks it to Youtube or Google video.

I really hope the good times stop rolling for thief producer Timbaland soon. The guy stole from a Finnish Dj Tempest. The Dj created a song on a Amiga. The song was posted online, it somehow made its way to Timbaland who then used it in a Nelly Furtado song without giving credit to the creator. Video proof below:

Winners and Losers of the 2007 Golden Globes

2007-01-16T12:23:00.000+01:00

Last night was the Golden Globe awards. And since the entire ceremony is a shame, I won't even comment on the validity of the winners. But I will comment on the fashions of the night. Plus this is my warm up to the Oscars. I'm highly qualified for this exercise since most days I spend about two minutes thinking about what to wear. I call it casual le chic.....some people just call it casual.
*Editors note: Full disclosure, some pictures from the original post were from 2006.

The Losers

Ellen Pompeo

Picture from 2006
Not only are you annoying the hell out of me on Grey's Anatomy but you show up as a grown woman to an award show wearing dead white chrysanthemums. You are not a young Hollywood starlet therefor there is no need for the anorexia or the awful wardrobe choices to attempt to hide your anorexia.

Picture from 2007

Still anorexic

Shonda Rhimes

I heard that the Golden Globes were going green this year but I didn't know they would make people wear recycled curtains.

Cameron Diaz

Ice princess with a very evil stepmother. Not a good way to show Justin what he gave up.

Beyonce

I give up, really I give the hell up.

The Winners

Vanessa Williams

Not sure how I feel about the hair but everything else in the outfit is working. That's not real fur is it?

Jennifer Hudson

Size appropriate clothing and a beautiful accessory.

Angelina Jolie

Just stunning and an okay arm piece.

Kyra Sedgwick

Nice simple but yet still glamorous.

There you have it folks, the winners and the losers.

Week in Review

2007-01-12T14:47:00.000+01:00

Posh and David Beckham are coming to America. For those of you living in America or under a rock, these two are BIG! BIG I tell you! Bigger than the Fat boys, Star jones and Flavor of Love put together.
This is the year I'll be moving back to the new world as well and I was a little nervous that I would miss Europe. But my heart is filled with much joy knowing that the Beckhams and I will be living in same country. Now if they break-up I swear I'll jump off a cliff or just read all the juicy details in the Enquirer.

It's reported that David's move to LA was really because he wants to be a Mooovie star. I really hope for his sake that they bring silent movies back or maybe just a really good non-speaking role.

And can someone please tell Jason and Joumana Kidd to keep their business 'out of the streets'.

Both claiming spousal abuse in their divorce papers and then sending their lawyers to do battle in the NY papers. Here's the deal, I'm sure Joumana tried to slap Jason a few times, but he probably drove her to it with his cheating and lying. Plus wasn't he arrested a few years ago in Phoenix for domestic violence?

Well it would appear so......
Joumana, I think I see 'half' in your future and some fat child support payments.
Full Story

And Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz officially announced their break-up. How sad....but first I want proof that they were even a couple in the first place. Justin is busy finding his next ~~beard~~ girlfriend, he's rumored to be already dating Scarlett Johansson.

He never looked too happy when next to Cameron

And Madonna told David Letterman that's she too busy saving children and living in London to know what's going on in America. News flash, I get most of my news from BBC and damn it they do a far better job reporting on America than Americans.

But more importantly she wants the world to know about her battle to save African Children: "There's over a million orphans in Malawi, and in my opinion the laws need to change because these children need to be rescued,". This statement is wrong on so many levels but I'm sure not a day goes by that little David isn't reminded how grateful he should be to Madonna. Someone should tell Madonna that grateful is when your native country can feed most it's citizen, when your mother didn't die at child birth, when your father would have been financially able to keep you or when an American/Psuedo British pop star wouldn't use orphans for self gratification.

And if wasn't already a bad week for Beyonce. First claims of abuse at the hands of her boyfriend and now Neyo is claiming he wrote the lyrics to ‘IRREPLACABLE’ all by himself.

Better watch your back, I think Mama Knowles is out to cut ya.

And our favorite widow Tomi Rae Hynie-Brown has been left out James Brown's will. There's a dealer somewhere that's mad as hell.

Time to seek out some legal representation!

He would sell the brooklyn bridge

2007-01-10T16:14:00.000+01:00

I have a satellite dish that lets me receive 2100 channels. Some of them are pure comedy such as Kuwaiti state television shows which look like music videos from 1981. Others are just sad, such as the call in sex shows on Russian television. I guess they don´t like to wash their hair or get bad teeth puled. But what really annoys me is seeing ads for HP computers with the Jay-Z voice overs, it's everywhere!

selling computers

I know we already had an update talking about the man but his ugly mug is everywhere. Look at your nearest GM dealership to find a Yukon Denali in Jay-Z blue.

selling cars

LL Cool J said that 'Jay was best at promoting Jay'. I can't disagree, the guy is everywhere but behind his desk at Def Jam. Ghostface released two new albums, did I see or hear any promotion? Same goes for Lady Sovereign whomever she is. And now LL has a new book out, the only reason I know about this is because I went to the Def Jam website. Russell time to leave the Phat Farm and check in on your company.

Posted by Ciena (despite the posted by stamp)

Kiss the dice and roll a lucky 7

2007-01-08T20:26:00.000+01:00

By R.L
Desperately Fabulous Contributor

Happy New Year to everyone. Hopefully everyone had a fun and safe new year's....if not better luck next year.
Okay, let me start off by saying if you've never been on the Las Vegas strip on new year's eve, then you owe it to yourself to check it out. Between the strip, casinos & night clubs you're bound to find something to fall into.
So let's recap my New year's eve. After getting drunk with all the locals down on the strip at Margarita Ville, I decided my destination of choice was Club Tao hosted by Usher and Pamela Anderson. Let me just say that Pamela Anderson might just be from the Canadian ghetto because the way she acted when the club wouldn't let her friends in was "Mad hood'. I haven't heard that many curse words since my mom found out Kobe's accuser was white. Moving on, after showing my desperately fabulous pass, I was escorted to none other than the V.I.P room . Where I saw R&B Messiah Usher Raymond. Now I'm not a hater or at least I thought I wasn't but who does this brotha think he is? Prince? I mean you would have thought he was a prince of a small African village the way he had grown ass women fainting. Other celebrities in the building were Chris Tucker and Britney Spears who I thought was throwing another party on the strip but I guess not. Pauly Shore fresh off his ass whoopin' in Texas along with a host of other celebrities. Overall Club Tao did a great job of putting this night together the DJ was great the people were great and best of all the alcohol was free.

Tanzanian village here I come!

I know we're a week into the new year but I need to talk about resolutions. Since New Year's resolutions for celebrities (and the rest of us) are basically meant to be broken, I came with a few well needed resolutions.

Jay-Z

Stay in the board room since these young rappers have no respected for their elders.

Stop saying I'm gonna 'bring New York back', the only time New York made a comeback was on Flavor of Love.

Stop telling people 30 is the new 20, especially when you're almost 40

Tom Cruise

Stop trying to get everybody to convert over to the Church of Scientlogy.

Do not stand on anymore couches

Admit that keeping the baby under wraps was kinda weird.

Beyonce Knowles

Get some breath mints. The secret is out that you have bad breath.

Stop letting mom and dad speak for you.

Help out your boyfriend and sign to Def Jam so you can up those record sales.

Nicole Richie

Eat a burger

with some fries

and a soft drink

Kanye West

Button up all your shirts, you're starting to look suspect

Stop being so paranoid

Stop being such a mama's boy

Anyone can get published

2007-01-05T20:22:00.000+01:00

Okay I don't have time for a full post today. But I ran across this while visiting YBF.

50 cent at the book signing for his new book. I'm not sure what the subject actually is, maybe how to get shot while trying really hard or how to be a stereotype. Leaves me curoius but not enough to buy that sh*t. Visit YBF for the full story.

And if that wasn't enough. Mrs. Brown (James Brown's widow) needs to stop taking those crazy pills.

She don't know KARATE but she knows crazy!
Have a good weekend folks.

Taking credit when credit is not due

2007-01-04T17:59:00.000+01:00

This week the Academy let Beyonce and her songwriters know that she will not be nominated for best song this year. The Academy has this little rule that it only takes max three people to write a song and Bey was the odd man out. This is good since despite here numerous "writing credits" the woman probably has never written a song. In order to write a song, one would probably need to be able to at least write and be able to put two coherent sentences together, all of which our girl has demonstrated she can not do.

But she's still getting magazine covers. Doesn't she look like a cross between Jada Pinkett Smith and Jennifer Lopez in the picture?

The year has just started and we already have our first celebrity break-up. Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson may be calling it quits....yawn

They had way too much blond hair between them to ever make it.

Oh Brandy is that a peace sign on your pants? Please remember the number one rule of fashion: peace sign on pants = bad

Holding up peace to keep it all coordinated.

And for the craziest rumor of the day. The paternity fight between Scary Spice and Eddie Murphy is heating up. Scary Spice wants the results of paternity test revealed on television. Someone get Maury on the line!

Where is my iPod!

2007-01-03T12:13:00.000+01:00

I hope all of the readers had a Happy New Years!

Yeah the O did a nice thing and opened a school for girls in South Africa. Lets all give her a clap and get down to the hating. It is not that I dislike the idea of opening a school or thought it was a bad idea. It was great but what I have an issue with is her saying, "If you ask the kids what they want or need, they will say an iPod or some sneakers. In South Africa, they don't ask for money or toys. They ask for uniforms so they can go to school."

Look O, I went to a public school, we did not need a uniform, why would I ask for something like that when I could wear some jeans and a t-shirt. Lots of poor people in American need money. I would not trust you to go out and do some grocery shopping for me. You might come back with some tufo and foie gras. It is her money and she can do whatever she wants with it but she really did not need to add that little comment about poor children in America. The schools are crap, even if you make it with a highschool diploma you have the high cost of college. You end up most likely in debt by the time you finish college then you start your first job which is set off to India because the labor there is cheaper. We all can not became talk show host O.

Mariah Carey looks less crazy these days, those pills must be working

Gay looking as mannish as ever

Mr. Poitier looks like Joe Clark

I guess she decided to wear some sheets in place of a real dress

Here are some pictures of the $40 million school

The lounge Area

Dorm Room

It's nice to be back in the building

2007-01-02T20:44:00.000+01:00

We're back! I hope that everyone had a safe holiday season. So let's start the new year off right with some gossip. But before we get started I want to send Birthday Wishes to my wonderful grandmother Edith who will turn 87 this week. Happy Birthday Grams!

I was saddened by the death of James Brown over Christmas. Later during the week I saw pictures of Michael Jackson at the funeral and wondered how people were able to stay in their seats with scary in the building. I know James didn't have a choice but damn......

Jennifer Hudson is still feeling the fabulous reviews of her role in Dreamgirls. Here she is performing live in New York. What's up with the hair?

My friend Mo told me that 'Dreamgirls' wasn't that great and she didn't understand all the golden globe nominations. Any disagreements and I'll post Mo's email address.

Kanye West showed up for something looking crazy. But he is already responsible for my favorite rap quote of 2007. "I don't know how to explain this but I'm kinda a big deal"

And oh look my man Scott Storch was in Miami partying it up with other annoying people.

I know this is a short post but that's all I got! We'll post everyday this week and review the new the Mos Def album as well. Stay tuned!

And the award goes to........

2006-12-22T17:38:00.000+01:00

*Editors Note: The winners of the Desperately Fabulous WebAwards were decided by our readers during our year end poll. The winners of the awards are not necessary the view of the editors (i.e. Kingdom Come, Borat!! WTF?). But we love our readers and trust their judgment.

Best Hip-Hop Album of the Year
Jay-Z

Best R&B/Soul Album of the Year
Justin Timberlake

Best Rock/Punk/Pop Album of the Year
Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Best Movie of the Year
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Who can "get it" female celebrity of the Year
Beyonce

Who can "get it" male celebrity of the Year
TI

We want to thank everyone that voted! We'll be taking a break until the New Year.
This has indeed been a fabulous year and not just a desperately one. We want to thank all of our fellow bloggers that have shown their support. A special thanks to Natasha at YBF and Dee at Cake & Ice Cream, both of whom have been so gracious with sharing their loyal readers with us.
FYI- This blog is best viewed in Firefox. Firefox is a great browser and we beg you to download it for free to enjoy our blog and others the correct way. Go on give yourself a free Christmas present. DOWNLOAD
See everyone back here January 2, 2007!
DF

Not everyone is multi-talented or even talented

2006-12-21T12:02:00.000+01:00

I wasn't planning to post today but the work gods have blessed me. My flight was canceled this morning and now I get to work from home!
Things are heating up in the WebAwards. We have some ties in several categories. Voting ends tonight at 11:59EST! Vote Here

So Halle Berry is serious about releasing an album?! I heard the rumor from C&L a few weeks ago that Halle was thinking of recording an album. My reaction was that Halle needs to focus on improving her acting before trying to record an album. I guess my advice wasn't heeded because the proposed track list was released.

1. "Miss Sexy" (Scott Storch)
2. "No Problem" (Timbaland, S.G. Jarard)
3. "Sunshine" (GiGi Franklin, Harold Jennings)
4. "How You Been?" (featuring Jamie Foxx, G. Thompson)
5. "Like That" (Scott Storch)
6. "Around" (Cee-Lo)
7. "Lazy" (featuring Lupe Fiasco,J. Crew Productions, Kundei Supormorgei)
8. "Your Love Is Always Good" (Timbaland)
9. "Not Today (I'm Not In The Mood)" (Jason Jackson, Jackie Jackson, GiGi Franklin)
10. "Write Me" (Scott Storch)
11. "Love & Emotions" (Robin Thicke)
12. "Singing To You (G. Thompson)
13. "Go Left (featuring Bun B, Timbaland)
SOURCE:HHNLive

Beyonce and Jay took time out to catch a Nets game. What's up with the weave? More evidence that Mama Knowles needs to be fired.

Do they ever make eye contact?

And Kate Moss took some time out from visiting her boyfriend in Rehab. Too bad it was just to buy some incredibly small shorts for herself.

Ohh, I think she may need a smaller size.

And the talented artist at prettyontheoutside made some fantastic celebrity holiday cards.

Too see more visit prettyontheoutside

And little Nia has made a come up! She's now being paid to lip sync Mary J Blige songs.

Tomorrow we'll announce the winners of the WebAwards. And the entire DF team will be onboard to share personal picks for 2006. Until then.....

Only Fools and Horses

2006-12-20T13:30:00.000+01:00

This is my last update for 2006. Since most people are making their list and checking it twice, I thought I would do the same. My list is of the best, juiciest, cattiest, gossip this year.

The Apple Did Not Fall To Far From The Tree
Bobbie Kristina and Justin Combs were found on MySpace. Bobbie looked just as crazy as her parents posing pool side. Meanwhile Justin Combs found his page deleted soon afterwards. Famewhore Jr.

Its Raining Divorce
Early in the year we had Russell Simmons and that guy, Brit and K-Flop, Paul McCartney and Stumpy. Best of all, Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Next week I am getting a satellite hooked up so I should get all the goodies via Court TV.

Crossing The Tracks
We all knew there was no way Kate Moss could keep so thin just by refusing to eat. Now we all know her wonderful secret, heroin. Together with some homeless looking guy, she was busted via phone camera. Like many people, she was given a second chance to clean up and get her life on the right tracks. She dumped that guy and moved on the brighter and better things, then we all woke up.

Dropped The Soap
Poor DMX, first he was born with that ugly mug, then he fell in love with that guy. He became hooked on drugs, sold a bunch of albums then went crazy for a moment. Got out of jail and was raped by some woman. The woman went on to have his child and we all pointed and laughed at his coke head lies.

Wishing On A Star
She went on her way, Star Jones announced she was leaving the View before they would put together some cheese ass clip show send off. It was a long time coming, the fans of the show did not like her. She was ridiculed by the press and public for her wedding antics. Gossip blogs said her new husband was gay. Over night many deals appear at her door step, then they were sent back to be returned to their rightful owners.

Knock Knock! Who's There? A Bad Joke
Andy Dick was high and started licking the crew of ST:TOS. O'Donnell rants about how some coffee show chick did not want to catch the gay from some gay guy then she tells her own racist joke. Micheal Richards flips out then runs to some tried blowhole to cover his tracks. And Carrot Top, he is still with us folks.

Victoria Does Not Have A Secret
Oh my, I forgot my panties! That was just nasty to see, lets move on...

Cursed and Gifted
Stuck up, talented, Hot Headed and getting sued. It has been a whirlwind year for Kanya West. I hope he keeps up the good work but cools down on the “I am the best” crap. Rehashing old samples at chipmunk speed is not all that Mr. West.

What? I did not say it would be a top 10, just a list. Now that I have this bitter taste of celebrity in my mouth I need to see something nice and sweet. So I leave you all with a video of a bird. But not just any bird, watch it to the end to find out why it is so special. Until 2007 good eating and good health! And don't forgot to cast your vote for the Web Awards

Desperately Fabulous Web Awards

2006-12-19T10:26:00.000+01:00

Welcome to the first annual DF Web Awards! Here is how the voting will work.
1. You can vote on individual categories by clicking the vote buttons.
2. Or you can vote for all categories at one time by clicking the header above.
3. Polls close December 21st at 11:59PM EST. Results will be announced on the site on December 22nd Happy Voting!!!

Best Hip-Hop Album of the year

Rick Ross-Port of Miami

Jay Z- Kingdom Come

Nas- Hip-Hop is Dead

Wade Waters-Dark Water

The Roots- Game Theory

The Game-The Doctor's advocate

Lupe Fiasco-Food and Liquor

Best R&B/Soul Album of the Year

John Legend- Once Again

Corinne Bailey Rae - Corinne Bailey Rae

Justin Timberlake - FutureSex / LoveSounds

Beyoncé - B'Day

Ciara - The Evolution

NE-Yo-In my own words

Best Rock, Punk & Pop Album of the year

Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Show Your Bones

Arctic Monkeys- Whatever People Say I Am......

The Strokes- First Impressions of Earth

Tenacious D- Tenacious D The Pick of Destiny

Gnarls Barkley- St. Elsewhere

Movie of the Year

The Departed

Dreamgirls

Babel

Borat

Last King of Scotland

Who can “get it” female celebrity of the Year

Penélope Cruz

Kerry Washington

Salma Hayek

Beyonce

Who can “get it” male celebrity of the Year

Daniel Craig

Isaiah Washington

Clive Owen

Daniel Dae Kim

TI

There are styles, stylist and vocal stylist

2006-12-18T12:16:00.000+01:00

To be honest I don’t have much to report. With it being the holiday season, things are a bit slow in gossip land.
Quick Bites:
Erik Estrada and Latoya Jackson are training to become cops- CNN
Christina Aguilera and her husband may be headed to splitsville- DListed

In other news, I went to the John Legend concert last night in Amsterdam. Great show although John seemed a bit tired. Plus, he keep pronouncing Amsterdam very strange.
I love it when an artist sounds great live without the need of playback vocals. From this day forward, I’m going to have separate categories for performers. There will be vocalist and vocal stylists. Vocalist will be classified as people that can actually sing: John Legend, Whitney Houston, Alicia Keys, and others whom escape my mind at this very moment.
And a vocal stylist will be classified as someone who may be able to sing a little but needs a lot of help from good production and playback vocals: Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Kelis, and everyone else.

Here are some pictures of last night's show

Opening the show.

Working up a sweat

Get ready for the first annual Desperately Fabulous Web Awards! If People Magazine can make up awards, then damn it so can we! The winner of this highly prestigious award will be decided by our lovely readers. Voting with the nominees list opens tomorrow!
The Categories:
Hip-Hop Album of the Year
R&B Album of the Year
Rock, Punk & Pop Album of the Year
Movie of the Year
Celebrity of the Year
Gossip Story of the Year
Who can “get it” female celebrity of the Year
Who can “get it” male celebrity of the Year
Who should get the soviet radiation treatment for 2007

Like we need another award

2006-12-14T18:05:00.000+01:00

Wow 2007 may be the year that Angelina Jolie comes off my banishment list. The woman still can't act her way out of a paper bag but boy is she beautiful.

on Larry King promoting her new movie "The Good Shepard".
Source: Just Jared.

Her contract for this movie must demand a lot of promotion because that Rag/PR piece People named Brangelina and crew 'Family of the Year'. Just a few questions for People: Why the Jolie-Pitts? Why not Will and Jada? Or Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson? Or even Seal and Heidi Klum? And what was the criteria for this "award"?

Asked which of the three kids rules the Jolie-Pitt roost, she says, "I bet if you asked Brad, he'd say Zahara. Mad is very smart, but he's got a certain sense of calm. Zahara is possibly the funniest person I've ever met in my life. So dramatic and creative and loud and charming. She's definitely the biggest personality in the house."

Since I have a heart of stone, I'm not moved by this little confession. See how they never talk about Shiloh, of course she's not for pimping.

My vote for family of the year....

Time For A Reality Check

2006-12-13T10:25:00.000+01:00

Check #1
Al Gore has or should have better things to do than help out Lindsay Lohan. If he does not have anything better to do than help her than he is welcome to come to my house and clean the kitty-litter boxes.

Check #2
I really dislike Lionel Richie. The guy seems to be very popular in Europe and I just don't get it. He is so darn bland and greasy looking. Instead of coming to Europe once again for some Wonderbread level concert, how about you help your adopted daughter. Not only is she not eating but now driving drunk. Whatever happened to MADD?

Check #3
To the guy that punched Pauly Shore during his unfunny comedy act, next time hit Carrot Top too? If you didn't read the story: Pauly was on stage telling some unfunny crap jokes. Some cowboy did not find him funny. He jumped on the stage and punched Shore in the face. Pauly dusted himself off and as he was walking off he called the audience White trash hicks. (Mostly fake but I stand by my Carrot Top comment)

Check #4
Lady of Rage, it is time to stop rocking the afro puffs. What are you 40 years old? Go with a real afro and lock it down. It is just not cute anymore.

Phone check homie

The world is filled with if(s) and why(s)

2006-12-11T09:45:00.000+01:00

I know, I know, we only had two post last week. But they were great post damn it! When we at DF write up our New Year's resolutions, we will be sure to promise ourselves to post five days a week. Like with most resolutions we'll break it but we will definitely aim for four post per week. It's the quality not quantity. Now on to the gossip.....

Oh look Venus Williams and a body builder in a dress. They look cute together!

Oh wait, it's just Serena. Funny how Serena still seems to be hitting the gym but can't win any tournaments.

ANTM had a party for the current and pass winners. Former winner Naima made an appearance.

I think she got her invitations mixed up. "I thought Friday was the 'Lesbians love leather' party not the America's Next Top Model party"

And Angelina Jolie is of course too cool to actually look at fans while signing autographs. All the best because they would probably melt in her glow.

And reportedly Rob Lowe turned down the McDreamy role on Grey's Anatomy. What if.....

Shame because Patrick Dempsey is getting on my last nerve.
Source: PopSugar

I recently read an interview with Rain Pryor (the daughter of Richard Pryor). In the interview Rain said that she didn’t meet her father until she was a toddler. The first thing he said when looking at his daughter was “No denying this one.” So let’s hope that Eddie Murphy can follow his idol and when little scary is born he can repeat those same words.

Muary: You are the father of 'little scary'!

Although we're disappointed that Desperately Fabulous did not make the finals in the Weblog Awards. But our pals at Celebitchy and YBF did make the finals. Please support them by voting at the
Weblog Awards

The rap wars: let's fight like it's 1995!

2006-12-08T23:26:00.000+01:00

By R.L. Desperately Fabulous Contributor

Ten years ago Biggie Smalls asked 'What's Beef?' And unfortunately he found the answer on a nondescript Los Angeles street. And it seems that this generation of rappers may have forgotten the answer to Big's question.
In this month's issue of Complex Magazine, Lil' Wayne takes offense to Jay-Z saying he's hip hop savior. Lil' Wayne goes on to say in the issue "I don't like what he's saying about how he had to comeback because hip-hop's dead and we need him," He continues,"what the f**k do you mean? If anything it's reborn, so he's probably having a problem with that. You left on a good note and all of the artists were saying, "Yo,this is Jay's house. He's the best. Now he comes back and still thinks it's his house.... It's not your house anymore, and I'm better than you."

Damn! This is wrong on so many levels, I don't even know where to begin. When did it become cool for Daniel son to disrespect Mr. Miyagi? And who the hell is Lil' Wayne? Has hip hop come to the point where somebody can just come off the street and talk about one of the greatest rapper of our life time? I have never heard anybody call Lil' Wayne the greatest rapper alive. But I have heard Lil' Wayne call Jay-Z the greatest rapper alive. If you're looking at this just through the music point of view ask yourself the following questions: How many Lil' Wayne albums will you be playing ten years from now? How many Lil Wayne albums do you own?

The rule from now on should be, a rapper must have at least have one classic album before being allowed to diss Jay-Z. If not, your diss will not be seen as an official diss but rather just a mis-understanding. Part of the problem with today's hip hop has to do with "hatin'". Where I'm from if you speak out against someone who hasn't said or done anything to you that's "hatin'". Example, if I'm walking down the street and I see a pretty young lady with a guy and I say he's ugly and she should be with me, that's "hatin". So the bottom line, is that Dwayne Carter A.K.A. Lil' Wayne (His mama named him Dwayne so I'm a call him Dwayne) shouldn't hate the player but hate the game.

Nas Vs Carmen A.K.A The Baby's Mom

For those of you who don't know what's been going on with Nas and Carmen just turn on Jerry Springer and you'll get an outline of what these two have been doing the past few weeks. Nas' baby mama Carmen has been doing a radio tour discussing her first tell all book aptly titled "It's no secret". Now this is where it gets interesting in the book she talks about having sexual relationships with Allen Iverson, Jay-Z and Sean " P Diddy " Combs. A odd twist in the book comes when Carmen says that Nas was physically abusive to her. Nas has gone on record as saying he has never hit Carmen and she's just out to make money off him. Picture a baby's mama trying to bring down her baby's daddy. I swear the only thing funnier then watching a baby's mama and daddy fight is watching the baby's mama threaten the baby's daddy with those child support papers. You should have heard how quick Nas shut up when she brought them papers up. Somebody better tell Carmen to stop bringing up child support, you already saw what the fear of child support did to Ray Carruth and OJ Simpson!

Hollywood Babylon

2006-12-06T22:16:00.000+01:00

I am in a holier than thou mood today

(Genesis 38:9) - "And Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so it came about that when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground, in order not to give offspring to his brother."

Well, this is not an issue with Eddie Murphy. The man is spreading so much he does not even know what is or is not his. In an interview he said Scary Spice's child might not even be his baby. He could have been more classy and said he did not want to discuss that issue but no, that would have been boring. And I would not have had the chance to quote the Bible. Let us all hope that the poor child does have a different father. I have seen Eddie's saplings and they are all from the genus Turpis. That apparently has not stopped women from flocking to him. Word has it that Tracy Edmonds (Babyface ex-wife) is dating the guy. I won't come out and say it but I see an interesting pattern in the type of women he is attracted to.

(Hosea chapter 4:11) The Lord says, "Wine, both old and new, is robbing my people of their senses!"

Good for Lindsay Lohan seeking help for her drinking problem. She should ring up Drew Barrymore and ask her to be her AA buddy. I hope she can pass her 21st birthday without the need to flash us all her kitty-kat like her weekend pals do.

Extra note: I am a student and I leave home very early and come home very late twice a week. This is why my updates happen at odd times.

Happy Birthday Britney Spears!

2006-12-01T22:27:00.000+01:00

Dear Britney,
Congratulations on your 25th birthday. We at DF were so happy when you kicked K-Fed to the curb. But then you squandered that good will, by hanging out with the likes of Paris Hilton and greasy Brandon Davis. I’m ashamed that as a adult woman I even know who these people are, which is more reason for me to be angry at you for reminding me of that fact.
Look, Paris Hilton is not your friend. If you want to know how Paris values friendships call Nicole Richie. Paris Hilton would trade in her own sister for a front page picture of her Vajayjay on the National Enquirer. Oh wait, your Vajayjay is all over the internet after a night of partying with Ms. Hilton, so watch your back. Yes, Britney Spears flashing herself to the world! I know you're twenty-five but where are your parents?
Now even Fox News is calling you an unfit parent. And they think that George Bush should get the father of the year award. Although K-Fed is a worthless piece of trash, he may just make a better parent than you. Did you hear that? K-Fed could actually be a better parent than another human being? So clean yourself up and despite what Paris Hilton tells you, wearing underwear whilst in public is a good thing. Happy birthday and remember that children do not choose their parents but you can choose your friends.
Kind Regards,
DF

PS.For those of you that want to see the full monty, visit out friends at IDLUITW

Are you gangsta enough.....

2006-11-30T20:34:00.000+01:00

See I hate 50 cents! And when I say hate, I mean hate in the literal sense. In my view the man has set back the black race at least 100 years.
Earlier this year our little walking stereotype decided to declare war on Oprah. And other rappers followed suit. Well 50 is at it again, calling Oprah an Oreo to the most gangsta of publications Elle magazine.
Saying “She started out with black women’s views but has been catering to middle-aged white American women for so long that she’s become one herself. I think the idea of being publicly noted that she’s a billionaire makes [black women] interested in seeing her views. But it’s even more exciting to the demographic of white American women she’s been aiming at to see that she has the exact same views that they have.”

Oh really and who do you suppose buys that crap which Mr. Cents tries to pass as music? One hint: white, suburban, under 25 year old males.
Now for 50 and other rappers who want to take aim at Oprah. When you build a school for girls in South Africa and quietly set up foundations to combat the spread AIDS then maybe you can talk.
Or when you stop getting angry at people like Michael Richards for using the N-word but continue to use the word in your music then you can criticize. And when you stop perpetrating the stereotype of the black male that record companies have hand crafted for you then maybe you can criticize Oprah.
Until then, in the words of another rapper “Dig a hole and bury yourself”
Source

Coming Out Fighting

2006-11-29T09:31:00.000+01:00

Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

The women are about to wage a war. First, Brit dumped her dead weight K-Flop. Pamela Anderson is splitting with Kid Rock (who saw this lasting more than a year?) and word is that Beyonce might be getting rid of Jay-Z.

This can be seen as good news to some, such as the owner of this blog. But I was looking forward to seeing the results of a human and duck offspring. Imagine the wonder and knowledge that could be gained from such an event.

The rumored reason for the breakup is another woman. You see, Beyonce could have just went along with a threesome like Nas wanted with Kelis and Carmen. But no, she had to just make a song about dumping some guy. I hope she regrets pulling on Jay's belt like a whore in that seizure inducing video.

K-Flop seems not to be taking his latest bumps too hard. On a messageboard a guy that worked for a local newspaper tried to give away free tickets to a K-Flop concert. Only a few people showed interest and the only reason was because they wanted to go and heckle him. In the end the free tickets could not even fill half the show. Maybe Kevin will wake-up and go back to doing what he does best, making babies. Here is a Thanksgiving photo of him and his tribe:

Pam, you crazy over-hyped PETA whore, what was going through your mind when you married Kid Rock (the guy has a son named Bob Jr.) Did he remind you of your trailer trash fan base roots? Was it the smell of his Irish Rose breath? Maybe the salty fried onion with a dash of garlic aroma of his armpits? Glad to see you coming to your senses at last. Let us pray that we never have to see or hear from Kid Rock again.

In closing a tip to all men out there... if you are in just a little doubt about your marriage and you know that you have cheated on your wife and she bathed you in pepper spray after she went downtown on Jay-Z. Make sure to at least pamper her after the divorce because you do not want to end up like Nas, fodder for my updates.

One last tip do not tape yourself getting pegged(*the link is probably not suitable to view at work), like ADO Den Haags (Dutch soccer club) keeper Stefan Postma. Better yet do not tape yourself having sex at all. Who in the heck looks at those things afterwards anyway?

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-24T11:09:00.000+01:00

First off I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving. Depending on where in the world you live,you may or may not have a lot be thankful for.
Here's what we're thankful and maybe not so thankful for.....

Very thankful that Nicole Richie fired her ~~drug dealer~~ stylist Rachel Zoe. And she's already looking more healthy!

Not so thankful that Jay-Z allowed Paris Hilton into his Las Vegas concert. Then he didn't kick her out after she spent the entire show looking into her mirror. I can forgive a lot things when it comes to Jay-Z. For instance, the fact that there are only three good tracks on his comeback album or that he hasn't forced Beyonce to pick up a book. But this is just unforgivable!

Very thankful that Jennifer Lopez still thinks that she's relevant. JLo will show up to an opening of envelope and even TomKat's wedding. Which on slow day like today she makes a great filler for this blog.

Not so thankful that Beyonce is using Tyra's weave maker. Repeat ten times: "Cover up the lace"

Michael Richards is not Kramer

2006-11-22T19:25:00.000+01:00

If you have been living in a cave then even you know that Michael Richards went crazy. He was doing some lame stand-up while two men were talking. Richards told the men to shut up, he then stopped his act and went off on the guys using some very strong words. He called the guys nigger and said they had done the same thing 50 years ago they would have been hanging from a tree.

Below is a clip from the show

As you watch the video you can see people at first laughing, then after a minute people stop laughing and start to walk out. It must have really sucked to be that guy that has to come on stage at the end of the video. The owner said he let Richards return to the stage the following night because he thought Richards was going to say sorry. That did not happen.

Monday night with Jerry Seinfeld was a guest on David Letterman. There was a video link with Richards so he could explain what happened. Richards tried to say sorry but came off as less than sorry. It has been floating around on messageboards that Richards will try to cover this up. He may come out has an alcoholic or hooked on some pills. He seemed to get angry again during the apology.

Here is a preview for the video link up, while Richards was speaking some people begain to laugh. Seinfeld told them to stop and said what was happening and what happened was not funny.

Is Richards a racist? Lots of comics get heckled, lots of comics have it people talking during their act. Does that mean they also have a right to act the same way? Of course it does not, nobody should act the way Richards did, nobody should say such ugly words. I want to believe that the funny Kramer and the guy that played him is not a racist. Remeber the black and white cookie? Who knowns, at first I wanted to call him racist but after seeing the two videos, I am lost. He was wrong for saying such ugly words that should never be used by anybody. But I want to believe the best and think he tried to make a joke out of it but failed. It failed really really hard.

"You said you were bringing a white boy home, not a fool!"

Death of a Dynasty

2006-11-20T15:04:00.000+01:00

Death of a Dynasty
Review of Jay-Z's Kingdom Come
By R.L. (desperately fabulous contributor)

How do you tell the greatest of all time, It's time ? That's the question everyone at Def Jam studios is asking themselves today. How do you tell the person with whom you grew up listening to that it's time to close up shop? It seems like only yesterday I was in my bedroom listening to ‘Reasonable Doubt’. And even if I didn't know how much money a "half a brick" was I knew that since Jay-z said it, it had to be a lot. Even as a young man I understood Jay-Z was different. His music had a way of taking you to the place where he needed you to be to enable you to understand his lyrics. Sadly, this same advantage has now become his biggest downfall. Kingdom Come one of Rap's most anticipated albums gives us an in-depth look into the world of the new and improved Jay-Z.

The Prelude
Like most Jay-z Albums he introduces himself back to the public and let's us all know the King is back. One of the most interesting things he raps about is how he sold drugs back when selling drugs actually meant something. And for those of us who grew up in the 80's, back then selling drugs was a big deal!!!!!

Oh My God
On this track Jay-Z gives us some of that old Jay we all love and wanna see again. He seems to have a hard time balancing out his new life and his old life on this one .Producer 'Just Blaze' gives him a 'one of a kind beat' like so many of Jay's classic albums.

Kingdom Come
This song right here sounds like that 96'97 Jay-Z. He does a great job of delivering those punch lines and he carries the beat on this one. The B-side single to 'Show Me What You Got', shows us that Jay can still spit a hot 16 when need be.

Show Me What You Got
2 years off and this is all you could come up with? Oh my bad, did I just say that out loud? The lead single on this album Jay gives us what every Jay single does: something to shake our booty to at the club. He could have re-released "I just wanna love you" and gotten the same response.

Lost Ones
Now here is where the album gets interesting????? After being tight lip about what was going on with the Roc-a-fella family. Jay-Z raps about how his former business partner’s attitude was the reason for their separation. If that's not enough, in the second verse he raps about his relationship with Beyonce. If nothing else this song is worth listening to, just for those two verses.

Do you wanna ride
In another weird twist Jay-Z takes us through the prison system as he talks to a close friend. I love the beat (Produced by Kanye West) and the chorus sung by John Legend and for a second you almost get the feeling that it's Jay-Z rapping on their song and not Vice Versa. The second verse stands out the most on this one.

30 Something
First off Dr. Dre is a probably the only person near 50 years old who the music game still needs. Dr.Dre does his thing on this beat & Jay tries to keep up but doesn't do a good job. I hate to say this but it’s almost like the beat is to young for Jay-Z. Overall the concept is cool but Dre and Jay just don't connect on this one.

I made it
My sister summed this song up, when she said that it sounds like ‘Dear mama 2006’. Jay-z does something every black male does when they get some money "Thank ya mama" Overall the song loses interest about minute in and does very little to get you back.

Anything
On paper Pharrell, Usher and Jay-Z should make for a classic record right? Wrong, this song does nothing at all to keep me from hitting the skip button. All I can say is, I hope Jay got a discount from Pharrell and Usher because this song is horrible.

Hollywood
You ever heard the phrase "pussy whip"? Well, that's exactly why this song is on the album. It seems that Beyonce liked the song and told Jay the track should be on his album. Beyonce does a pretty good job on the chorus, but there's just no helping this song.

Trouble
The beat to this song is average and in the past these are the beats Jay-Z would make his own. Jay almost sounds like he laid these lyrics down before picking a beat because they don't really match up. Jay-Z talks about some of the rumors surrounding him so that helps out his last verse.

Dig A hole
Finally it's here!!! The old Jay-Z makes an appearance to discuss his former label mates and enemies. The beat is crazy and the guy on the chorus makes a name for himself. I never thought I would say this but Jay-z might wanna stick to diss records. ‘Dig A hole’ will definitely have the streets buzzinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Minority report
Once again Jay-Z and Ne-yo hit record right? Wrong jay-z takes us back to Katrina for this record. Like with I made it, I see what he's trying to do but he doesn't do a good job of translating that into good music. And the people on the intro are far more interesting than anything Jay says on the track.

Beach Chair
Probably one of the biggest surprises has to be this. Who would have thought Jay-z would have to get a guy from Coldplay to make him a beat.. Jay-C does a good job of re-connecting to his audience on this one.

Overall
Jay-z should have come a lot stronger, with that being said “it is what it is”. Even though Jay-z shows signs of the old Jay, it seems like the Jay-z we loved (Jigga)is a thing of the past.

It got lost in the mail

2006-11-17T17:47:00.000+01:00

UPDATE
It's official, Mr. and Mrs. Cruise or Couple Crazy.

Official wedding picture of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes- for the three of you that care.

It seems that I wasn't the only one not invited to the wedding of the century in Rome this weekend. Oprah wasn't invited but Jennifer Lopez was invited? What the hell is up with that? I knew that TomKat was crazy but damn. But the artist known as Suri was invited.

Our friends at Dlisted have all the comings and going of La Pazzesco Cruise (that's crazy for my none Italian friends).

And Star Jones came out of her dungeon with stuff all over her chest.

Poor thing.

And speaking of scary....

Michael Jackson was in London for The World Music Awards. YBF has all the details of the "event"

Oh and ladies if you ever had the fantasy of sleeping with Iron Mike Tyson, you may be closer to your dream (and hopefully you have your psychiatrist on speed dial).Mike is going to be joining a male brothel in Nevada soon.

Okay Ladies don't all of you head to Nevada all once!

And look for the review of Kingdom Come next week

Keeping the Fire Burning

2006-11-16T02:24:00.000+01:00

Another late update I know! But yesterday I was married for one year so I took some time out with my husband. Maybe if Chris Rock took spent some time with his wife and not Superhead he would not have the problems he does now. I am really starting to wonder about Superheads super skills. Maybe that should be a topic for her next book.

I was planning on writing about Eva Longoria and Beyonce playing lesbian lovers in Tipping The Velvet. But Eva has killed the rumor. Too bad because it would have been interesting to see Beyonce ruin another movie with her poor acting skills.

To add to the theme of bad acting, Ashlee 'Is it or isn't my nose' Simpson is making her stage debut in Chicago in London. If there was one family of celebrities that I could do without ever hearing, reading or seeing it would be the Simpsons. Even the Spears clan is less trashy than them. The father is just flat out creepy when he talks about his daughters breast.

Off the celebrity gossip thing, has anybody seen the ads for the snail slime skin cream? Why pay for something like that when you can get your own snail from the backyard to crawl across your skin?

Playing with ourselves

2006-11-14T22:08:00.000+01:00

Ok, my dear friend K.V. invited me to start posting, but I haven't felt inspired with anything celeb gossipy, pop culturated or trash talkative…until now. Question: do women really need to add dyeing their nether regions to their beauty routine??!! Sadly, a new line of hair coloring products for your hoo-ha that’s been making the talk show and magazine rounds says yes.

Listen, I'm all for startups – particularly if they're woman-owned, as the market leader in this soon-to-be thriving category is said to be. And I'm all for women feeling beautiful about themselves in whatever way they choose. In fact, there’s probably some part of my own (minimal) beauty ritual other people would call ridiculous. BUT SINCE WHEN DO WE HAVE TO MATCH?! I figure if anyone gets close enough to see my top hat and tails, he should have enough sense to love them in whatever state they’re in. (Or at least keep his comments to himself.)

And that’s what’s really sticking in my craw, isn’t it? I fear this is just the latest outrageous length my sisters will go to for some dude. “He only likes redheads? Gotta dye my head hair. He might realize I’m not a natural redhead? Gotta dye my bottom hair…” Where does it end, my beloveds? We’re going to make life even harder on ourselves by trying to trick men into thinking a woman's body is perfectly symmetrical in every way. But how many of them run out and grab a bottle of chemicals when the hair on their head is brownish but their beard grows in black?

Surely women aren’t pressuring each other into expanding their dyeing canvas. No one’s ganging up on the follicly mismatched in area locker rooms. No one’s looking at herself in the mirror and saying, "Great thighs, perfect breasts, lovely skin, but boy I wish every hair on my body was the same color..."? And I’d like to see the stats on how many lesbians would even give these products the time of day…

Look, if the disconnect between your cuff and collar is so great that you have to take some peroxide to your pet, then maybe blonde isn't your best color in the first place. But let’s face it: at least one of you has already done a web search to find the products of which I speak. And as soon as some hair changeling celebrity gets on board – J-Lo? Linda Evangelista? Mary J? Pink? – then we’re all doomed. I say no! I say power to the p***y! I say let her be who she wants to be! Thank you and good night.

Fall from grace

2006-11-13T09:00:00.000+01:00

I can watch the 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' over and over again to look at Jude Law's beauty.

Looking pretty with Gwyneth Paltrow

I thought he reached his bottom a few months ago.

But I was wrong. Jude, go out and rent 'The Talented Mr. Ripley' and hopefully you will understand the diservice your drug use is doing to the world.

And I see that someone is still following my man around.

Celebrating the one year anniversary of the 40/40 club.

And Mary J Blige has released the cover the for her new album. Didn't Mary just come out with an album? I love Mary but I can only take one album every three years. I just don't have enough tissues around the house.

Nice though...

I've been telling my friends how much I love Daniel Craig as the new Bond. And I'm mostly met with blank stares. The man is gorgeous! And defy anyone to tell me different.

And Celebitchy is reporting that Mr. Craig is packing!

Getting Down and Dirty

2006-11-09T12:15:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the delay in updating but the news about Britney and K-Flop upset me. I hid under my covers crying the whole day. I mean, when they were married, it touched me. Deep inside, I knew that this was it. This is what was meant to happen. Ok, Britney had her little thing with that guy with the very high annoying voice, and K-Flop had a busload of kids. More than enough for Angelina Jolie adopt. But together they were a powerful duo. Britney went back to her double wide trailer trash roots to mate. She got in touch with her past, living behind the sugar coated Micky Mouse Club goo of her record company PR department. Now it comes out that K-Flop is going to fight for custody of those two unique looking children.

"Kevin is prepared to go the distance in order to do what he feels is necessary to protect and safeguard the children and will not be intimidated or dissuaded from pursuit of those goals," (CNN)

K-Flop is such a drama whore. I doubt he would be a much better parent. This folks, has the makings of many months of juicy good gossip. To top it all off we can look forward or shield ourselves from the Britney sex tape coming out soon.

In other news,

Bill Cosby settled a lawsuit Wednesday with a woman who said the entertainer drugged and sexually assaulted her at his home outside Philadelphia. (CNN)

Settled eh? Oh Bill, what have you been up to? Ever since he went on his cake and cola rant I think he has lost it. While at times he makes sense it is really here or there.

In closing this post, I would like to say that I hope K-Flop and Brit can find there way to settle this like that trash bags they are, on the Jerry Springer show.

Letters from America

2006-11-08T20:49:00.000+01:00

Dear Peeps,
This trip to America has been filed with so many twist and turns. Britney Spears filing for divorce, the Dems controlling the House and maybe the Senate and Dr. Strangelove aka Donald Rumsfeld resigning! I haven’t felt this good after an US election since 1992. My friend Mo and I shared such a dreadful 2000 election together, so it was only fitting that we fully debated the issues together on the eve of the election.
Ciena is going to post soon (right C?) and I’ll post some good gossip on Friday.
Keep checking in!
DF

It's all about the ruffles

2006-11-03T07:47:00.000+01:00

Well kids I'm heading to America. Just in time to watch the elections returns and the Democrats doing their best to lose before the voting begins. Should be fun!
And before we get to the 'mail bag' I have a few items that need to be addressed.

I usually leave fashion commentary to the wonderful ladies at gofugyourself but this picture of Jennifer Lopez at the Latin Grammy's leaves me in a state of utter confusion.
Red is my favorite color but for some reason it never really works for clothing. The body glitter looks great and if I decide to wear a similar number to the office Christmas party I'll be sure to use the same body glitter. But the ruffles, JLO you lost me at the ruffles.

And despite sluggish records sales Janet continues to surprise me. For one, her and Jermaine Dupree are still together, knowing Janet they're probably married with two kids (but must keep it a secret). And I love her new hair, it brings me back to her 'Control' days.

THE MAILBAG
The mailbag.......ask and you shall be answered. Here are some letters from our dear readers, some of the content has been changed for entertainment purposes or for clarity of entertainment purposes.

Dear DF,
Why is the blog so incredibly mean and negative towards celebrities?
Yada, yada, yada, (deleted because it was not entertaining).
Anonymous

Well Anonymous Reader,
Do you want the long version or the short version? It all started in the mid 80's when I was a regular viewer of the Cosby Show. The middle daughter Vanessa was my age, so in a lot of ways I identified with her.
Except that my father wasn't a funny doctor with very cool sweaters. Do you remember when Vanessa dated Robert (maybe you're too young)? But I had the biggest crush on Robert and absolutely hated that he “loved” Vanessa. From that day forward I became a negative and mean person because Robert should have been my boyfriend and it's my goal in life to make the world suffer because of my heartache.
DF

Dear DF,
I love the website but why don't you post daily?
Jennifer
San Francisco

Dear Jen,
Simple the girls at DF have full-time jobs. This is a hobby for pete's sake! A fun hobby.
Plus we try to give you actual funny commentary on the world of celebrities. Not the run of the mill comments like “This is a picture of Brad Pitt in a car” or “This is Halle Berry eating”.
But if we can get a few more funny writers for the blog then of course we would post more often.
DF

Dear DF,
My husband and I are considering adopting a Swedish baby! Those poor pale things. . . .we believe we can give him (or her!) a spicily ethnic experience. Imagine how cool his (or her) life would be with black parents!! But, of course, we would make sure to expose him (or her!) to his or her culture as much as we can. . .and if it’s a girl, definitely no cornrows. . .
E
Amsterdam

Dear E,
I commend you on considering adopting a child from Sweden. Did you know that Sweden has one of the highest suicide rates in the world? You would be saving that child from a horrible and certain death.
And I'm sure you would expose the child to their wonderful (if not backwards) Swedish culture. I put your efforts right up their with Madonna, Angelina Jolie and the rest of the wonderful humanitarians of the world
If it's a girl don't worry about the hair. This is minor, no one could expect you to know how Swedish people take care of their hair.
Good luck with the adoption! And if it doesn't work out you may want to consider a baby from Norway.
DF

Glass of OJ for me and some Ice-T for Sam

2006-11-02T09:16:00.000+01:00

I thought the days of Hollywood using shoe polish on actors was over. Maybe it is, maybe they now have some magic colored people spray-on skin tone. If so, then Angelina Joli has been using it for her upcoming film A Mighty Heart. In the film Angelina plays Mariane Pearl, Daniel Pearls wife. Some people do not like that Angelina is playing Mariane, a biracial woman, they want another actress to take on the role. I will not talk about that but say that the makeup and hair style are a perfect match.

Hats off to Snakes On A Plane star Samuel L. Jackson for not working with rappers trying to be actors. Except for a few such as Tupac and Ice Cube, most can not act. Ice-T is a prime example of this, he sees himself as a rapper, ex-pimp, ex-drug dealer, actor, and opinion whore. I don't know about his dealing and pimping but he is pretty bad at the rest. I was so happy when he was killed on New York Undercover . Then he had the nerve to pop back up on Law & Order. Go feed your pet sharks or something!

OJ Simpson should be ashamed of himself. I know if you did or didn't kill his ex-wife and her friend. But to write a book about it and profit from it is sick. It is disrespectful to the memory of your children's dead mother. Have some class loser.

Is Clive Davis a drug counselor?

2006-10-31T15:15:00.000+01:00

Whitney Houston made an appearance this week at the 17th Carousel of Hope Ball looking great. New wig, a little weight and a smile. Wow! I guess that ‘pray for Whitney Houston day’ really worked.

And Halle was there with her man candy.

Yummy!

Okay so Blogger is running like a sick dog these days. And I just don't have the patience, which is the reason for the short posts. But hopefully the problems will be fixed soon. We'll open our mail bag this week. Yes, sometimes we actually read the emails. If you have any questions, comments or suggestions email us at: desperatelyfabulous@gmail.com

Blame it on the union jack

2006-10-27T13:07:00.000+02:00

Naomi Campbell was arrested again this week for assaulting her drug counselor. I'm no psychiatrist (although I play one on the Internet) but I think Naomi has some serious issues.
I know it was tough for Naomi growing up black in Britain. Having to pretend that Rugby and Cricket were actually sports of significance. And that up until ten years ago it was almost impossible to find a good weave maker in Britain. Not having a good hairdresser can cause serious damage to a girl! But Naomi dear, it's time to move past those dark years. Britain has changed, didn't you get Tony Blair's memo on the new Britain? Let's move on girl.
I have an idea, Naomi needs to go on Oprah. I believe that an appearance on Oprah can solve all problems (Here's the evidence). But here's the twist, I'll also appear on the show taking Dr. Robin's place, since I highly question the fact that she's even a shrink based on her useless and whimsical advice. The three of us will get at the heart of the problem. And if that doesn't work Oprah can get Gayle to kick Naomi's ass.

Its a week early but...Happy Halloween

2006-10-25T08:32:00.000+02:00

Before I get to the photos I just want to take a minute to say something to Wesley Snipes.

Wesley, I know you are worried, you face real jail time for dealing with some shady people. But you know what, you should have known better. You have been around too long not to know that what you did was wrong. Be a man and face the music. Whats the worse that can happen? You go to jail for a couple of years. So what, it be a country club not some maximum security prison.

Oh Al, you kinky boy!

Star Jones as the unknown comic

Destiny's child dressed as Ursula and her helpers

Suri in her true form, Tom as a UFO and Katie as the thing from the Abyss

Duck, well he was hard to do so I just gave him some snake skin and fangs.

If you have a request I will post it next week.

I'm no relationship expert but....

2006-10-24T22:01:00.000+02:00

I consider myself an expert in many topics: world politics, Sassy magazine(may she RIP), literary criticism, chocolate, diet soft drinks and airport lounges (just to name a few).

Relationships expertise is not my forte but allow me to examine two relationships that are just beyond normalcy.
First up, our favorite couple in love have announced their wedding date. Mark your calenders because November 18th is the special day. Armani will have the honor of designing Katie Holmes' dress.
And Katie Holmes will have the honor of signing her life away. This wedding leaves me with more questions than answers. Inquiring minds want to know will the artist known as Suri be in attendance? And will Katie be allowed to speak? Or will a Scientology handling agent say “I do' for her? Will Tom Cruise wear platform shoes? And will Oprah be there?

Love is bliss!

Next up Kim Porter, Puffy (P. Diddy, Puff, Diddy, Sean) and Jennifer Lopez. Oh Puffy, what are we going to do with you? Now you're claiming that you were never in love with JLo and during the entire relationship you still loved Kim. Can you explain the song “I need a girl” which you made about Jennifer after she sent you packing (I think Jennifer Lopez wrote the lyrics for “Irreplaceable”)? Or the fact that you had the audacity to make a remix for that wack ass song. And I quote:
“But everytime I think about your pretty smile
And how we used to drive the whole city wild
Damn I wish you would've had my child”
Touching!
I know the PR people at Bad Boy told you that black women are a key demographic for your album sales. But the only black woman buying your story is Kim. I hope she retained her orginal child support lawyer.
And while were on the subject of your album, some people who claim to be friends told me 'Press Play' was not that bad. Well, I had a listen and these people are now on probation in the friends department. Although the song “Tell Me with Christina Aguilera” is hot! Only because your “rapping' is kept to an absolute minimum on the track.

I need to send Christina a bottle of Clairol number 44 Mocha Splash

I’m in love with a camel….

2006-10-20T12:30:00.000+02:00

I love Jay-Z, yeah I said it. No, I don’t just love his music ,because he has made some trash (his collaboration with R. Kelly anyone?). But I love the man. I have a reoccurring dream where Jay pleads with me to leave my boyfriend. I ask him about Beyonce and he claims that he doesn’t even really know her “She just happens to show up every damn where I go”. We roll around in his Maybach and I finally know what it feels like to be embarrassingly rich. Although not really since it's only dream.
I think about Jay’s proposal and the fact that with access to Jay’s bank account I can go into Gucci and buy the place out. Weekend trips to St. Barts. Ohh the dilemma! But it’s not only Jay’s bank account I love. The man went to Africa and did not come back with a baby! But most importantly I love him for his just down right inspirational lyrics. When I feel down, I turn to Jigga. He's a complicated man, for these complicated times. Here are a few of my all time favorites and why:

“Put me anywhere on God's green earth, I'll triple my worth”- When I need to get my "hustle on" - aka when I need to put more money in the bank

“Ay, I might even have me a cappuccino, fuck it!”- When I should not even think about drinking coffee, but I go for it anyway. Cappuccino style!

"If you can't respect that your whole perspective is wack”- When I explain my reasoning about something but for some reason no one get its.

“Thank God for grantin me this moment of clarity. This moment of honesty”- For when that little light bulb goes off in my head.

This could be my car. The Maybach Coupe 2006

Buy, download or bootleg the new album Kingdom Come and get your daily inspiration.In stores November 21st, illegal bootlegs November 1st. And if you hear rumors of a Jay and Beyonce break-up, you won’t have to wonder why.

Wait, hold up!
Dr. O'Malley aka T.R Knight has come out of the closet?!

My gaydar was completely off on this one. Apparently the ever so handsome Isaiah Washington sort of outed T.R during his fight with Patrick Dempsey on the set.
Allegedly Isaiah said "I’m not your little faggot like T.R.". See to me that's not actually outing, since in some circles faggot is interchangeable with the word bitch.
Congrats T.R., one less actor hiding in the closet.

Hmmm....I never seen this picture before. Gaydar is functioning again.

*please note the new comment system.
Good news: it's now much easier to leave and track comments.
Bad news: all previous comments have been lost.

I don't need you, you need me

2006-10-18T14:31:00.000+02:00

Poor 50 cent, with nobody to start a beef with he has jumped on the dis Oprah bandwagon. If Oprah wanted to have the likes of 50 cent, Dr.Dre and Snoop on her show she would. If she does not want to have your “rag to riches” story, 50 cent, on her show then that is her right. What would be the point of having him on the show anyway? The guy mumbles everything, they would have to have subtitle the whole show.

Hats off to Madonna for making the brave and original move to adopt a black child. She did it out the goodness of her heart not as a PR stunt. Little David will have the great joy of seeing his new mother dance around in a bright purple leotard, a new father that makes disrespectful comments about his wife and a big sister that demand he brings her a diet coke not a fucking regular coke.

Erykah, it can be a very trying and difficult to style natural hair. But just slapping on some braid hair and calling it a day is not the way to go. If you really want to try that style get a wig.

As promised next week, photos of your favorite and least favorite celebrities in Halloween costumes.

Sins of Sisterhood

2006-10-17T14:58:00.000+02:00

Sorry for the anemic posts the last few days. But the girls at DF love to travel. Both of us are back in the fold this week, so you’re guaranteed a nice dose of snark.

Tyra Banks is so smart. She knows everything about sisterhood (despite the fact that she doesn’t have a Gayle). I don’t trust women that don’t have close girlfriends, regardless of how beautiful they may be. But that doesn’t stop our Tyra from telling the world the “Sins of Sisterhood”

See, I was right there until I read gossip……

Class in the eye of the beholder

2006-10-13T14:23:00.000+02:00

I get a good feeling when I see a nice classy couple walk down the red carpet.

But when I see Ice-T and his wife Coco, I can't seem to get images of “Pimps up, Ho's down” out my head.

We all know that lil' Kim has been a regular at the plastic surgeon. But I didn't realize how much until I saw the before and after pics.

Before

After

Self hatred is not a good thing people.....

And Kim's plastic surgery icon Michael Jackson, was spotted in drag in Nice, France this week.

No, not a good look.

We're rich b*tches!

2006-10-11T13:58:00.000+02:00

Google has just made these two guys very rich. Reportedly paying 1.6Billion USD for a company that has not yet posted a profit and did not exist a year ago. Are we going back crazy days of 1999? I need to work on my new web business plan pronto!

"We're going to party like it's 1999"

Reunions are overrated

2006-10-09T20:04:00.000+02:00

Reunions are overrated. It's reported that Paris and Nicole have made up. Does this mean that she can stop her hunger strike now?

So what's her excuse for such extreme starvation? Is Paris upset at you too sweetie?

See, and all this time I thought designers actually designed clothes for humans.

Jay-Z released the first single “Show me what you got”. Let's start lining up the haters. 50 cent/Stepin Fetchit - check, Cam'ron – check, Jadakiss- check, anyone else?

As for the single, I'm hoping that he's going to show a lot more.

And while I have 50 cent/Stepin Fetchit on my mind, our little hater had this to say about Oprah.
"Oprah will have a rapist on her show and have a discussion about why they do it, but won't have a rags to riches story on her show. She'll have Kanye West on her show. I think middle America would rather have they kids be gay, than have them aggressive."

Interesting....is someone calling Kanye gay? Maybe 50/Stepin Fetchit is in the best position to make that call.

And Al and Star are enjoying their new digs in Miami. How did Al get Star to move to the gay Mecca of South Beach?

She still has some skin in need of removing.

Anna Nicole Smith- it's all about logic

2006-10-06T17:22:00.000+02:00

Janet's new album 20 y.o. debuted at number 2 this week.

The low showing is apparently putting Jermaine Dupri's job in jeopardy. Here's the thing, the album is not that bad. Janet's voice just is not strong enough to carry off some of the weaker tracks. Janet probably needed to go back to Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis or maybe even Timberland. Chin-up Jermaine you engineered one major comeback this year (Mariah Carey), can't win them all. Some days I ask myself why I'm not a record executive.

I think Katie Holmes wants to marry Posh. Posh is around the same height as Tom. Plus, Posh can make her smile.

Holding hands sans baggage in Paris

Can someone explain to me who the hell Scott Storch is and why Kelly Rowland is crazy enough to have her picture taken with him?

I have a strong urge to punch him in the face.

Ahhh happy times. Anna Nicole Smith's wedding day to her creepy lawyer. Something tells me that the happy/deranged look on her face is not all natural.

It all seems so logical. Son dies in your room shortly after giving birth and to wrap up the week's events the logical thing would be to get married. This whole craziness seems like a storyline from Young & Restless or All my Children Is Anna really from Pine Valley or Genoa City?

K.V.

So NotPRETTYious

2006-10-04T13:28:00.000+02:00

Congratulations to Tori Spelling and her husband Dean-something. May your child have Dean's nose, Tori's fathers business sense, Candy Spelling's cost saving sense and Deans parents good sense to give the child a normal name. Yes, congratulations to you both!

At least Dean-something knows he is the father of the child. Poor Larry Birk head has to wait for a DNA test to see if he is the father of Dannilynn Hope . No, Dannilynn is not a typo, that is the poor girl's name. While Anna Nicole Smith was out drugging it up and posing for Playboy, she should have taken a break for some community college courses. Maybe then she would have known how to spell Danielle Lynn.

My favorite holiday is coming up soon, Halloween, so there will be a special post around that time with celebrity costumes. Until then a spooky picture to get you in the mood:

Bawwwahhh

Puffy is the black Liberace

2006-09-29T19:44:00.000+02:00

I'm in a pretty smug mood today. I got into an intellectual tussle with Jonathan Frazen last night. I don't mean to brag- okay I do mean to brag. But I pretty much had him against the ropes on his critics, his condescending attitude and his lack of creativity when signing books. I'm sure he hates me now (along with everyone in the audience) but just one more person to add to my sworn enemies list.
Plus he just may be the most gifted and brilliant writer of his generation.

The man himself.

Puffy had a very expensive party for his trash of an album. But gotta love him for bringing the Liberace back to music.

Oh man I wish he would of had a Michael Jackson "Pepsi" moment. Is that just wrong?

So this is the new look for models? No wonder Nicole Richie has an eating disorder

Note to fashion designers: women are not meant to look like starving 12 year old boys.

And Jay-Z was in London finishing up his European tour this week. And the unbelievable part is that "fishsticks" Gwyneth Paltrow sang the hook for “Song Cry”. Okay I really need to hear this.

UPDATE Seek and you shall find. Here is the audio of Gwyenth singing. I hate to use the word singing.

After the show...wait a second isn't Jay still CEO of Def Jam? Why can't I get months off my job to pursue other interest?

Something seems weird about this picture. Maybe because Jay is surrounded by two annoying chicas.

I love Thandie Newton but hate this outfit! I may have to send this one to the girls at gofugyourself

K.V.

Lifestyles of the Why Are They Famous?

2006-09-27T16:08:00.000+02:00

Poor Bobby Brown, down to his last penny, he is now asking to be being paid in gifts. Before appearing on “I Married a Baller”(to all ghetto people reading this, they mean baller as in sports) Brown asked for a car. Not to be sent but to be given as a gift. This fool is out of his mind. Is he even worth a car? Just maybe a second hand 1997 Chrysler Town & Country LX Minivan

How much is Bobby worth?
-Last solo album was Forever in 1997
-He is a bit rusty and used in the face
-Does not run to much, weed after all makes you slow down
-He does have a large family to take... well he has a large family
Worth $6000, second hand 1997 Minivan is worth $6800

hard times

He does at least have Superhead to pay for his cellphone bills. Yes, Brown does have a Suga Mama. Now on to Ms. Suga Mama 2

Oh B! How could you make such a song as Suga Mama, “come sit on my lap?” Please tell me that song is a joke, right B? The whole album is messy, too hyper, she over sings. B, you are no longer in a group so there is nobody to fight to sing over anymore. Just take your time and do it right.

Catfish Eyes and Prettyboy are suing the king of gossip, the National Enquirer, because they said her fake marriage was fake. Who knows how far Star will take this since she does have a lot of extra time on her hands. Now that the spotlight is back on her maybe her waxy face will melt and she will go away.

Until next week, I leave you with rappin Duke (think back to Biggie Smalls)

Africa as a cause

2006-09-25T14:41:00.000+02:00

As we all know Africa is the new pink. And any celebrity worth their ink, is down with Africa.
Madonna, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Bono, Kate Moss all love Africa.Does anyone see a common thread among the list?
To help these dimwits in their "it’s all about me Africa campaign", why don’t we assign them a country in Africa as their cause ‘de jour’. I know, I know, Brad and Angelina already took historically rich and literally starving though not anorexic Ethiopia. But there still are some good countries to be had. Madonna could have fascinating Zambia or maybe Uganda (but there is this long standing civil war in the north but more opportunity to make the issues about her).
Kate Moss could take Sudan. Sudan is a country filled with very tall people and there has to be a model somewhere that Kate can discover and take all the credit for delivering her out of a life of poverty. As for Bono what the hell, he can have all East Africa since he just looks great in Prada sunglasses (I prefer Gucci myself)- the kids in Tanzania love that look.

Kate Moss on the cover of the Independent's Africa/AIDS awareness issue. As you know Africa=AIDS

Unfortunately they could not find any Africans for the cover. I'm sure they made a huge effort.

Suspension of disbelief

2006-09-19T21:52:00.000+02:00

Suspension of disbelief: refers primarily to the willingness of a reader or viewer to accept the premises of a work of fiction, even if they are fantastic or impossible.

Lars von Trier is one of my favorite directors. And one of my favorite Lars Von Trier movies is Dogville staring Nicole Kidman. The set of the movie is comparable to the set of a high school production of 'Our Town'. It took about 30mins into the movie for me to suspend my disbelief, an incredibly long time for a movie. But Lars did pull it off.
Which brings us to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. These two have been engaged for over a year and have a ~~prop~~ child together. Yet, I just still can not seem to suspend my disbelief in this production that is TomKat. I see pictures of them at soccer games playing the part and still I'm not convinced. I want to believe that Tom was crazy in love and not just crazy when he jumped on Oprah's couch. I want to believe that Suri is actually Tom's baby. I want to believe that Scientologist aren't qwacks. For pete sake's people this man was in 'Risky Business'. It's Tom Cruise!
But I'm still not buying it. So may I suggest that we buy Lars a ticket from Copenhagen straight to Hollywood to direct the production that is TomKat. Lars hates America but for TomKat I think he'd make an exception. TomKat needs a bit of art in this farce, someone that can make the unbelievable somewhat believable.
TomKat meet Lars Von Trier.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes "enjoying a children's soccer game"

Proving that actors are nothing without good direction.

Lars von Trier

The man that can save TomKat

I'm the Michael Schumacher of rap....

2006-09-18T13:00:00.000+02:00

Jay Z made a trip to Amsterdam on Friday night. I actually attempted to get free tickets (this blog does count as journalism). Well I got a 'yeah right' and the people at the Heineken Music Hall never called me back. To add insult to injury my boyfriend had to work Friday night, so no luck in going to the after party at the coffeeshop.
So this is how you un-retire huh? I have mixed feelings on this one. The rap game is in such a sorry state that part of me welcomes Jay back. But then since he is the self proclaimed Michael Schumacher of rap then maybe he should act like it. Michael just announced his retirement after winning the Italian Grand Prix and will retire on top. Michael probably needs to give Jay a call.

Just in...here are some pics from Friday's show in Amsterdam. Thanks OuXu

Still holding it up.

I heard Memphis Bleek was also in the house. What he’s still rapping? Since this isn’t an hip hop blog I’ll leave the subject alone.

He just can't stay out of his girl's closet

Kanye West and Fiancée during New York fashion week.

k.v.

Well...Duh!

2006-09-14T17:27:00.000+02:00

Whitney is leaving Bobby Brown but was anybody surprised by this? I doubt it. Bobby lately has been hanging out with Superhead a.k.a Karrine Steffans. Karrine said they were just friends but with a nicknane like Superhead who can believe they were just hanging out.

When they first were married many of us doubt it would last so long. Classy Whitney marrying bad boy Bobby? Crazy. But through it all they lasted 14 years. Had one child and suffered one public miscarriage.

After some time rumors started that Bobby was beating Whitney, that he had more children from affairs. Whitney's music career floundered and her supposed consumption of alcohol increased. Word was that she was hooked on drugs. Bobby's sister sold supposed photos of Whitney's bathroom which was dirty and littered with drugs.

Meanwhile little Bobbi, their daughter, circulated photos via MySpace of her posing in a bikini poolside. Many were worried that she had health problems.

What is next on the agenda? Will this be very public with nasty words exchanged from both sides or peaceful for the sake of their child? Only time will tell.

In more artist news, R.Kelly will finial get his day in court. I hope he does not start peeing on the judge.

Allen get ya mama

2006-09-13T21:50:00.000+02:00

Allen get ya mama…… and tell her she is too damn old to still be in the club “trying to keep it real”

Video of Allen Iverson's mom and how she keeps it real. No wonder he's a jackass.

I want a Eskimo baby!

2006-09-08T15:53:00.000+02:00

I was infatuated with Maddox Jolie, that was until I saw the pictures of little Suri Cruise. Ah Eskimo babies are so cute. I want to go to that special Scientology place in sky where they make the little rascals and demand one before the official start of fall.
And if you still can’t get enough of the cutest Eskimo ever, go check out the coverage from our friends at Dlisted

Holy crooks Batman, there's the Joker #$!%^@

What the hell is wrong with Lil' Kim? We need to start a special center for people that like to mutilate their faces.

~~Barney~~ Jessica Simpson "preformed" somewhere this week.

Not a good look

My favorite unemployed person Star Jones (outside of my family) spent some time relaxing at the US Open

She just can never take off the bitch face.

And Nicole Richie is on the cover of some magazine I've never heard of before.

Looking very cute. Her former BFF was arrested- not for that shit of an album she put out but for an DUI. Check out the coverage Here

Beyonce and Ducky (I like the new nickname) kicked off Fashion Week in NYC with a performance.

Hmmm..how can I say this? I hate the CD (although I posted on Beyonce's myspace page that is was great! I wanted a link back). I'm really hating the music business at this moment. I have a few questions.
1. How can you only put ten tracks on an new CD? You're almost demanding that I illegally download the tracks.
2. Where are the slow songs? That's something she can actually do pretty good.
3. Why so much hip hop? I know you're dating Ducky but enough already.
4. Not a question but rather a comment. Don't worry, I've also listened to Justin Timberlake's new stuff and it's shit! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise- two decent tracks top. The pop bar has been lowered. I'm sure both albums will move a couple millions copies.

K.V.

Still crazy

2006-09-06T14:21:00.000+02:00

The National Enquirer reports Katie cracks up and Tom had to have a reality check with her. The Enquirer said crazy Katie was nervous about their upcoming wedding. Yeah right! Most likely postpartum depression. Now that Tom has a taste of it he has said sorry for his rant against Brooke Shields. Tom Cruise is still a box of Cottonelle Rollwipes in my opinion.

On to the next group of people that should be sent some place north of Svalbard: Brad Pitts parents. They made a fuss out of Angelina drinking some wine at her child's birthday party. I am sure Maddox has two nannies and three PR people to watch over him. He was in no danger during the party. What they should be upset about is Brad messing around with Angelina, she is not the cleanest woman this side of Norway.

Beyonce and her pet duck billed platypus are getting married in late November now that her keeper, I mean father, has approved. He was on the fence because of the ducks drug dealing past. Look if you believe that ducky sold drugs then you are crazy. The duck has been rapping for years, he was a teenager when he started. He did not have time to do that while selling records. The guest list includes Kofi Annan (hahaha, sure ok, the head of the United Nations has time to make it to their wedding)

Last bit for three people I would buy first class tickets to Svalbard for, Paris Hilton (racist), and the Game, were hanging out with each other. Thank goodness I don't wear glasses, if I did the combined ugly would have broken them.

Whose Child Is This?
Too dark hair color, with red hair showing, wig? à la Micheal Jackson?
Too much hair
It is so photoshopped

A flame is more than a candle

2006-09-01T19:56:00.000+02:00

I’m sure most of you heard about the rumor that Ne-yo did a “Lance Bass” and came out the closet to Essence magazine. I got around twenty emails of the supposed interview. Well, it turned out to be “hoax”. Yes, Ne-yo is gay, he just didn’t admit to being gay to Essence or anyone other than the men down at the Delta nightclub. Before anyone even thinks of emailing me (as proof of his manhood )the supposed highjacked pictures from his sidekick of him being “serviced” by a female dancer, - let me just give you my credentials in this area.
1.I lived and went to college in DC- other wise known as the DL/Black gay man's San Francisco.
2.I once had a gay roommate, he taught me and my friends how to improve our gaydar.
3.The man is just GAY as hell

I rest my case!

And while we're on the subject. Stah and Al made an appearance.

Last week Al was seen again at the club sans Stah with his boys.

Hip Hop royalty

Why does Kelis look alive with personality? And Bey not so much.

And our 2nd favorite little crackhead may be getting engaged

Won't happen. Won't last. She loves putting stuff up her nose too much

And someone was looking "Real Gangsta" at the VMA awards.

I once had a little thing for Pharrell but now I could probably kick his ass.

She needs to be an assignment on 'Project Runway' on who could do the best job styling her out of the Tranny look.

Lace front weaves are nice

Except when you can see the lace. AGAIN! Fire your weave man.

And what do you think these two said to each other?

And I know we covered this in a previous post. But another photo of Aretha with her two twins fully exposed

K.V.

The Wild Women

2006-08-29T19:38:00.000+02:00

Beyonce has a new single out, the video is just as crazy looking at the last one. I never thought I would say this but maybe she should go back to working with her father. Or get Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis to help her like they did Janet after she broke away from her father.

Poor Bey has a bad case of Show Parent Syndrome, her mother had it out with Miss Jones. You can listen to the audio here.

As some of you may have read or heard Osama bin Laden thought about killing Bobby Brown. Does he still feel the same way now that Whitney has lost her mind? I can see how a couple years go he might have felt that way but now she is a huge mess. Bobby her daughter she not doing much better. If you have a Myspace page then you can find her and her poolside bikini photos. While Whitney is being Whitney and Bobby Brown is hanging out with Superhead, who is taking care of their daughter? I hope not pothead Diane Warwick.

Team Crazy

2006-08-25T20:07:00.000+02:00

I’m sure that everyone has heard about Tom Cruise’s “Firing” from Paramount. Normally I would be happy if an obnoxious, annoying Hollywood star would get their comeuppances (I’m looking at you Lindsay Lohan). But when I heard the news I almost felt sorry for CrazyT (don’t start throwing stones). I’m ashamed to say I’m on Team ~~Tom~~ Crazy for the following reasons:
1. Studios are evil, let’s not forgot that. They still allow the Wayan Brothers to make movies.Tom being crazy was not the reason they dropped him. It’s all economics-or maybe they're afraid that Tom will make a scientology version of 'Passions of the Christ'.
2. Michael Jackson and Roman Polanski were not dropped after their heinous crimes. I guess molesting children and rape are not in the same league as being crazy and letting billions of people know it.
3. Tom has heavily criticized psychiatry- although he’s definitely one person that could use a good shrink. I put psychiatrists up there with chiropractors in the quack department. Sometimes crazy just can’t be cured.
Allow me to use some of my entrepreneurial skills. So if you’re down with Team Crazy show it! Follow the link to get your official crazy gear:Here!

So Brad's mom hates Angie?!

She's not the only one

But then she takes absolutely stunning pictures like this one for St. John

Maybe she's not so bad

Quincy Jones is a dirty old man

Pictured with his 19 year-old Egyptian "fashion designer" girlfriend. Honey, you can't call yourself a designer until you actually design something.

Ecstasy anyone?

Lindsay leaving a nightclub high as a kite!

So Jay performed with Mariah at her concert in NYC. Why Jay? WHY WHY?

Jay to Mariah:"My girl has this fashion line with her moms. She can hook you up with some clothes." Mariah is probably the only person in which House of D would be a step up.

No reason for this picture. But that Sanaa Lathan looks really cute and should be in more movies.

Why is Holly staring. Holly, the cuteness does not rub off.

And the Lionel Richie video with Nicole premiered. Put the video on mute and watch Nicole.

And it's the one year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. And still not one person has been held accountable for the aftermath. Not the Mayor (Mr. "This city will remain chocolate"), the Governor, and definitely not the President.
Spike is telling the story for the people of N.O. The four part series started this week on HBO

K.V.

No

2006-08-22T19:23:00.000+02:00

I am going to make this one short because there is not much I can really think about writing about after seeing this image other than, please QueenFranklin get some help.

Image from Radio One 25th Anniversary

The first one is a paycheck, the second one is insurance

2006-08-18T20:42:00.000+02:00

Puffy and Kim Porter announced that they are expecting their second child together. Third child for Puffy (that he knows of). It seems that Ms. Porter is still trying to get her MRS. Girl, getting pregnant may not get you there. Do you think Puff is going to want to pay child support and a possible alimony payment? I think not!
So let's call the first one the paycheck(only nine more years left) and the second one your insurance policy just in case that MRS doesn't go in front of your name.

Alexis is about to get her MRS. "She couldn't afford a car, so she named her daugther A-Lexus"

The proposal

He actually looks happy

Another marriage ends after an affair on the set

And they always say "It's only acting" yeah right!

John's new ablum is set to be released in the fall. His new single "Save Room" is so great, a bit of soulful Elvis Costello. Nice to see him changing things up.

No smoke and mirrors....just talent.

Pictures of Lindsey and her mother partying hit the net this week

I guess Mom won't be the one taking her to rehab.

And the winner for the 2006 Crackhead Award of the Year goes to:

Whitney and Co. (also the 2001,2002, 2003, 2004, and 2005 winners)

And Brit loves being a mom and photoshop

K.V.

Madonna calls it quits and Andy licks

2006-08-15T14:03:00.000+02:00

Celebrities do bad things and go to court just like the rest of us. Unlike us normal people, they are special treatment. Caught with a house of cocain like Boy George then you get to clean park benches. Caught riding away from the scene of a crime with a gun under the seat like P.Dddy and J.Lo? You get to spend just one night in jail. How about you have sex with a 12 year and video tape it? Don't worry, you will go to trial some time in the unknown future R.Kelly. How about you give some kids alcohol and show them Playgirls? Well, you get to move to another country and become the guest of the king and keep Micheal Jackson company. Life is great for celebrities.

Unless you are Madonna, she says critics are to blame for her poor box office numbers.So she is stopping with acting, if you could call what she did acting. Of course blame the critics and not yourself dear. Did she even see her own movies? She can act as good as Pharrell can sing.

There have been a couple books out lately about life behind the scenes of Hip-hop. The most well known is 'Confessions of a Video Vixen' Odd title since she was not a video vixen more of a groupie but now there is a new one out 'Notorious C.O.P by Derrick Parker. He says "When I went over to see Jennifer Lopez (after the gun incident), she indeed appeared traumatized,". Whatever Parker, she spent a couple of hours in a jail cell most likely apart from the riff-raff, I doubt she was traumatized, right Jenny from the block?

Can somebody get Andy Dick a confrontation? He started licking and biting people Sunday night, signs are there that he is once again back on drugs.

Don't call it comeback

2006-08-11T22:53:00.000+02:00

It has been an exhausting week, with crap weather to match the feeling. But then the sun shined a bit when I heard that Jody Watley is making a comeback. I love Jody's old stuff and it still has the ability keep me on the treadmill a few minutes longer.

Looking Fabulous

How old is she now?

YAWN!

If these two actually get married, how many people would care?

Nicole is filming a new Lionel Richie video. See Lionel is a smart man-he's knows no one give a sh*t about his music or his videos since "Dancing on the Ceiling". But if he puts anorexic but lovable daughter Nicole in the video, then it's sure to get press.

She's looking very cute.

Our little sugary Kayne is reportedly engaged. I'm not so sure about the report, since it claims his fiancée (Alexis) is his longtime girlfriend. I thought he broke up with his longtime girlfriend Brooke last year-I'm ashamed that I know this. Of course, that little playa Kayne could have had more than one number "one" girl.

And we all know he's asking for a pre-nup.

Esquire Magazine named Sean Preston one of the worst dressed men. That's just wrong. He can't help it that his Momma has no class or taste.

Praying he can grow up fast,so he can start dressing himself.

And Reportedly Tomkat is going to reveal little baby Suri in a fall issue of Vanity Fair. The pictures were taken by Annie Lebovitz-good choice she can work miracles with a camera. Did you ever see her pictures of Whoopi Goldberg? Miracles I tell ya!

And someone needs an intervention and a prayer circle.

Lauryn could it get any worse? Despite what the Marleys tell you, marijuana is not an essential nutrient.

Flavor of fur

2006-08-08T11:40:00.000+02:00

What better way to watch the fall of the American public than though the power of television. One of the best examples of this is VH1 Flavor of Love. You get to see strippers and video dancers compete against each other for the love of Public Enemy's Flavor Flav. Last season we saw New York and Pumpkin fight over catty comments and spitballs. Now we see two women fight over a bed. Yes people, you read that right, a bed. You can see the cat fight on YouTube below but I must warn you the women sound like mice sucking on helium:

Speaking of flying fur, House of Dereon has a teddy-bear made of real fur. A bear made of mink fur, gross. I am no fan of PETA and they are no fan of Beyonce but really a fake fur bear would have been just fine. If you are interested in this creepy bear it will only set you back $50.

Patience is a virtue….

2006-08-03T22:32:00.000+02:00

A virtue I don’t have but the dear readers of this blog have plenty. I’m back from a little trip to the beach doing nothing but watching surfers catch waves.
In the coming weeks there will be a few more changes to the blog- good changes.
I haven’t forgotten about the book reviews, which was part of the reason this blog was started. I never seem to have enough time to write a good book review. But starting this week there will be a new section titled “Read and Listen” which will review a new album and book. This will be at least a once a month feature.
And lastly, instead of a weekly blog, DF will now go bi-weekly! There is also a new addition to DF. The new team member knows gossip better than me and she will make her debut next Wednesday.

So much has happened in my absence: closets opening for a former boy band member, Mel Gibson being Mel Gibson and still no public sighting of baby Suri.
But someone has seen little Suri- alright I'm bored with this story but this quote by Jada just smells like a big fat lie.

"She's one of the sweetest babies I've ever met in my life. She's an absolute beauty and she's Daddy's little girl. She's beautiful and they're very happy and they need to be left alone. She's the cutest little baby. She's got a head full of black, beautiful hair."
Did CrazyT give you a role in his next movie?

The production company of Lindsey’s new movie sent her a scathing letter to clean up her act. Didn’t work.

Still coked out. Shame because I still believe she has talent. ‘Mean Girls’ is up there with ‘Sixteen Candles’

So Mr. West is one of the best dressed? Well According to Vanity Fair

"I love what he does with color," said Amy Fine Collins, social correspondent for Vanity Fair. "He loves pale pastels and nice sugary colors."
Nice sugary colors. Hmm… maybe because our man Kayne is sugary.

Speaking of Sugar. Justin getting his groove on.

Lance opened the closet...it's okay for you to come out. Just kidding.....He's in love with Cameron.

Mimi, enough is enough. You do not have Jennifer Aniston legs, so put your clothes on. She’s bordering on “Charm Bracelet” territory here.

Details of Aaron Spelling last will was made public. And it's not looking good for Tori. Only 1 million of the estimated 300 million fortune.

The word is that she will sell some her jewelry and clothes on Ebay. That would be just too good to be true. Mama Spelling does look like a real Bitch (and I don't use that word lightly).

And Barbara still has not learned anything about Black women. Especially not to call black children creatures.

Janet really wants you to buy her album.

Is that a JD belly button ring? WTF?

And Paris wants to make up with Nicole.

"I'm scared (to call her) It's just weird and hard when you haven't spoken for so long. I don't know what would happen. I'm going to wait a while."
Although Nicole is a scary anorexia ‘breaking up’ with Paris was the best thing that has ever happened to her. At least demand that crabs legs starts wearing underwear before you even consider answering that call.

And puff just wants you to know him better. I hate myspace!

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Read and Listen

2006-08-03T22:15:00.000+02:00

Listen

The Roots finally have an album they can be proud of. After some lackluster efforts, “Game Theory” finally delivers the music that everyone believed this group is capable of producing.
Hip Hop is at a crossroads and after listening to this album I hope that road will lead to an awaking. Although this album is for everyone it especially speaks to where Hip Hop is going and where the African American plight is headed. After witnessing hurricane Katrina almost a year ago, that plight is not a nice place. At a time when most blacks are too gangsta or too Huxtables, the Roots deliver an album showing that our real life is some where in between. Too Huxtable ,when most African-Americans are just one generation from poverty or the projects. Too gangsta, when African-Americans have the buying power but not the power of a small nation.
Game Theory takes you on both journeys, it tells the story of urban America without the violence. The insanity of the corporate ownership of American prisons. Speaking out against the war without the rhetoric. Yes Hip-Hop may finally be reborn.
Game Theory-5 stars (in stores August 29th)

Read

Cloud Atlas- By David Mitchell
The first 80 pages read like the script of masterpiece theater. It was a struggle but Mitchell crafts six different but linking stories in Cloud Atlas. I can’t really it describe except that it’s wonderful journey and this guy has immense writing talent.
3.5/5 stars

Please share your thoughts on comments on this month's reviews.

A short break

2006-07-27T00:28:00.000+02:00

I’m going on a short vacation-much needed. I’m very sorry but there won’t be an update this week.
I promise to post again next week! Make sure you come back! I’ll review the new Roots album with a link on where to get it before the release date.
In the interim, read my archives and links to other gossip sites.
K.V.

Introducing the new desperately fabulous

2006-07-21T14:03:00.000+02:00

A new look! I just can’t hold down my excitement- I’m such a nerd.
A few weeks ago a reader e-mailed me about the awful DF layout (I thought it was kinda cute). But he didn’t just complain, he actually helped create the new banner with a very cool font.
And thanks to more cyber friends who helped with the color scheme. So let me know what your think of the new look. Love it?! Hate it?! Go back to old format???

Let’s get started. After a slow start this week, things started to heat up a bit.
The world is suffering from so much despair at the moment. The leaders of the top economic nations held the G8 Summit this week. Surely they would have some answers to this current world crisis in the Middle East.
Well it seems that the Russian hosts “forgot” to turn off the microphones of our two favorite world leaders (those sneaky Russians).Let’s read a bit of the transcription

BUSH: "No, just going to make it up,"
"I'm not going to talk too damn long, like the rest of them. Some of them talk too long."
WTF?! That’s why we are in the mess in Iraq? Because smarty pants just loves to wing it…..
BUSH: "Gotta go home. Got something to do tonight. How about you? Where are you going? Home?"
Cheney hates when he breaks his curfew
BUSH:” Thanks for the sweater, it was awfully thoughtful of you," "I know you picked it out yourself."
BLAIR: "Oh, absolutely,"
That’s just sooo lovely
Lebanon: close those bunkers very tight!

And if the world just wasn’t f*cked up enough. Barbara has the need to touch every black woman’s hair on 'The View'.

Speaking of weaves and The View.....
Well there are lot of rumors floating around the Reynolds. Allow me to break it down…One rumor, has Al telling Star that he’s gay on the day she was fired from the view. See I can’t really believe that one, since by all accounts Al is alive. Second rumor is that he’s talking to a divorce lawyer. This one could be true, although it could just be a plant by “his people” (friends from Fire Island with some PR skills) to put the story out in the press. This could help Al start talking to Stah about his exit strategy from this farce.

And if that wasn’t enough. I’ve also heard that the hook up between Stah and Al was actually done by their minister. This minister "cured" Al of his gayness-hmmm didn't work. Then the minister proceeded to hook up the newly "cured" Al with the then very single and fat Ms.Stah Jones. Can't wait for Al's tell all book!

Can we please work on the Anger Management issues?

Naomi was arrested again! She allegedly showed up at her boyfriend's London flat demanding that he let her retrieve her things(all her assistants were recovering from their own beat-down and couldn’t get the things for her). When he wouldn’t open the door, she tried to kick the door down. He probably would have been headed straight to hospital if had opened the door. Police were called, she calmed down and was released.

Janet, you can look sexy without looking like you won a shopping spree to WetSeal.

And is why PAB still talking about Britney. Get over it already!
In the issue of GQ PAB says:

“When we initially parted ways [in 2002], I felt like she had a couple of opportunities to just sort of stick up for me, and she didn’t,” says Timberlake about Spears, 24, publicly blaming him for the split. His answer? “I fought back…I came up with a song.” That would be “Cry Me a River,” which called out Spears’ rumored infidelity with his pal Wade Robson (she denied it).
Oh Brit, PAB so wants you back. Just give him call....please!

Nicole reportedly fainted on a shopping trip this week. No one can out smart anorexia.

Her new album cover. I really love Nicole, even we she’s wasting valuable CDs to make this shitty album. And no, I have not heard it, just call it a gut feeling...

When, where, how?!

And where was Vince? Knowing AJ, she probably joined in……did she? Enquiring Minds want to know!

Kimora still has everyone beat in the Bitch face contest.

Straight Chillin'& Bitchin' in Miami

And although she may not be able to act, Halle has excellent taste in handbags. At least she has talent where it really counts

And finally congratulations to Eddie Murphy and Mel B.(Scary Spice). These two love birds are rumored to be getting hitched this weekend.

Hmmm wait a minute. Mel, wasn’t your last husband gay? Maybe you need to ask Eddie something. Keep your eye on Johnny Gill at the ceremony.

That's it for this week. Enjoy the heat.
K.V.
desperatelyfabulous@gmail.com

If I ruled the world....

2006-07-14T23:52:00.000+02:00

This has been a slow week in the world of gossip. Still no sightings of little Suri but plenty of conspiracy theories. Therefore, step into my world.......
I was having dinner with a friend not too long ago and the topic of actors came up. More specifically who could act and who could not. Which got me to thinking what would happen if I ruled Hollywood for a day (or a week, year, eternity)?
First I would start with my list of people who would be banned from Hollywood for the rest of their natural lives.

First up:
Angelina Jolie: I have no idea as to why this woman is famous. Okay, I do have an idea but it sure ain’t for her acting ability. If she was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean without a life jacket and Jennifer Aniston was pushing her head under water, she still could not convince me she was drowning.

Banished

Next....
Halle Berry: Well Ms. Berry just because you won an Oscar does not mean that you can act (see Angelina Jolie, Marisa Tomei, Gwyneth Paltrow). I make this face every time I look into the mirror; my friends have aptly called it my “mirror face”. Well Halle has what I call her "ugly face"; crying, running nose and blabbering with a bad accent. That is what passes for acting in Halle’s book. Not in mine!

Banished

Almost gone....
Some of you may be surprised to see Denzel on “bordering banishment list”. But I recently watched ‘Inside Man’ and during the entire movie I had this feeling that I had already seen the movie before. I hadn’t, but I had of course seen Denzel play the same role at least a dozen times. Now it may not be his fault that he doesn’t get offered more diverse roles. But with me at the helm of Hollywood that would all change. I want to see Denzel in a real romantic comedy, with a genuine love interest. And no, none of that Will Smith type bullsh*t. More in the lines of a “Harry met Sally” type movie.

Maybe

Should be gone....but...
I want to believe that Matthew McConaughey can act. But it seems that in every one of his movies, he’s just playing a different variation of himself. “Oh that’s Matthew acting silly”, or “Oh that’s Matthew having fun” or real range “That’s Matthew sad”
I’m tired of him bringing his “Ah shucks” routine to every role. In order to stay in Hollywood, Matthew you must play a very serious role (and not one of Southern Origin). Exchange scripts with Philip Seymour Hoffman right now!

Maybe

Ralph Fiennes gets a lifetime pass. I watched ‘The Constant Gardner’ the other night. And the script just had sooo much wrong but Ralph made the movie almost right. He’s the Bill Clinton of acting (no not in that way) you really feel his pain through his acting. He actually becomes the characters that he’s playing. What a concept?!

Staying

Poor Angela Bassett. So much talent and so few roles. I would hire a screenwriter that would be dedicated to writing roles to complement Angela’s talent. To make things easier, I would give her all Angelina's scripts. Have your pick, I’m sure there is a good one in the bunch.

Staying

Moving on
Oh my god! How short is Jermaine? Damn.....

He must shop at the junior section- and still his pants appear to be too long.

Meg, you're always late on the latest fashion. Didn't you learn that when you were the last person in Hollywood to hook-up with Russell Crowe?

I like the new Monica song “Everytime the beat drops”. Now if only she would take that stank look off her face, maybe she could sell more albums.

Lenny Kravitz gets on my last nerve. Below celebrating the Italian worldcup victory. Lenny, I want you to name one Italian player on the world cup team and one country that borders Italy.

Yeah, didn’t think so…..

Could you give Lenny a headbut please?

Who knew that Zidane was a bit sexy???

I'm sorry but I can't take this serious. E! has more credibility.

I demand that they remove the word 'news' from the ad. News should not be 'personal', news is just news. I know it's hard and you want to talk about curing cancer, your hair and your fun personality but just the facts

Look at Penny Woods. Lookin’ good.

I can never ever ever say enough about airbrushing

Foxy, where you going?

"To the free clinic"

If I only had a brain

Someone stop this woman from doing interviews.

Do you think Star would go back to being fat if she could have her old job back?

Until next time. Send me an e-mail if I missed some key gossip or stories
desperatelyfabulous@gmail.com
K.V.

Jayson Blair are you there???

2006-07-07T22:45:00.000+02:00

Last week I was reading the online version of the NY Times and came across an article about Jay-Z’s Cristal boycott. Then things got weird, the writer started using lyrics to make satirical transitions, the same style I love to use. Then this ~~reporter~~ hack used some of the same Jay quotes I’ve used to make the exact same points. A coincidence I’m sure. But just in case I’m going to get my lawyer Star to look into this. She’s the best lawyer ever! Did you see her on Larry King? She just strikes fear in people. I heard that she has more free time now, so she can give my case her full attention. With Star’s superior lawyer skills and my excellent case, (since not one person at the Times has had an original idea in at least ten years) we would surely win!

Oh damn….I use copyright protected pictures on this blog. Maybe I should hold off on my case. But in the words of Jay: “stop stealing my sh*t”

Watch out before she starts using her lawyer skills.

Lil’Kim was released from prison in time to celebrate the 4th. At least one person in America was able to celebrate freedom.

Looks like her plastic surgery held up in the “Big House”. I thought she was on house arrest…..where’s the ankle bracelet?

Everyone is wondering: where is baby Suri? Reportedly friends and family have not seen the baby.

If we can put a man on the moon, surely we can find out if baby Suri really exist.

~~Gary Coleman~~ Lauryn Hill performing at a show in San Francisco. Maybe she can make a comeback

"What you talkin bout Willis?!"

Diddy and his woman on the beach.

Kim is great and all. But they'll never have the heat that he had with Jennifer.

Made for each other.....

I don’t really have anything to say about this picture. Except that, I want a mohawk wearing and hip adopted kid from Cambodia!

Serena on vacation in St. Lucia

See, she can't even get a swimsuit right.

Word on the street is that he and acne queen have broken up. Could we possibly get a reunion between him and Brit?
It could help put those gay rumors to rest.

My eyes, my eyes!!!!

Kids, plastic surgery is not a good thing.

Oh no Coutness! You are not trying to do sexy!

Even when she looks absolutely crazy, I still can’t help but love her.

Sorry for this picture. But come on, who could side with Paris over Nicole?

Just can't seem to keep her legs closed! Proving once again that having money does not mean having class.

New NYC subway ads

This ad makes no sense since Jesus was Jewish. The next ad will be "Malcolm X for Black people"

Thanks for all the great comments and e-mails! Please keep them coming.
Until next time.
K.V.

Let’s connect the dots

2006-06-29T20:28:00.000+02:00

While I was away, so much has happened. Allow me to play a little game of connecting the dots (or more aptly titled “Everything is Everything”).

I missed an article by Robert Kennedy Jr. in “Rolling Stone magazine” outlining the discrepancies in the 2004 Presidential election. Interesting stuff since he states part of the problem is that we are paying too much attention to Brangelina and not enough attention to the issues. GUILTY AS CHARGED. But we can do both right?!
Check out the article here

The Roots have a new album out. And there are some political tracks on the album; maybe they are as outraged as Robert K. on the state of the US democracy (of lack thereof). See, not everyone is interested in Bragelina.
There was a lot of noise surrounding this new Roots album. “Are they selling out”, “How will they fit in at Def Jam”. But I just had a quick listen to the album and the worries just aren’t justified.

The Roots are on now happily on Def Jam. And their boss gave a concert this week in New York. Which should have been titled “Oh I forgot I was retired concert”

Here performing with his leading lady.

Foxy was in the house.

Doesn’t Foxy look like she doesn’t wash down there??

Keeping up the Cristal boycott.
Since Jay does talk about giving back. I love this lyric: “And I can't help the poor if I’m one of them. So I got rich and gave back. To me that's the win, win”

Well Jay, that’s all nice but someone is living those lyrics a little more than you.
Warren Buffet announced this week that he will give away 85% of his fortune to charity. Ahh yes “the win win….””

The bulk of Warren’s billions will go to the Gates Foundation. The Gates foundation does awesome work with vaccinations in the third world, AIDS prevention and improvement of US high schools (just to name a few).

Our favorite “know-it-all” on those subjects gave the most boring interview ever to Anderson Cooper.

I just couldn’t watch the whole thing. So I’m not sure if she talked about where her next long suffering child will come from. Any guesses?

Pictures of another long suffering child appeared on the net.
Poor little Bobby Christina

This picture just screams “sex me”. See Angelina there are children in good ol' USA that need you to save them too!

Say it isn't so....
And someone is now crying for a job. Our Stah has announced that she ~~was fired~~ will leave The View in July.
You’re fired!

Star blindsided Barbara and the gang by making the announcement on air and a month early. But then after the show the fireworks really started when Barbara and Star took the fight to the streets.
Barbara said:
"It is becoming uncomfortable for us to pretend that everything is the same at this table," show creator Walters. "Therefore, regrettably, Star will no longer be on this program."
"We gave her time to look for another job and hoped that she would announce it on this program and leave with dignity," Walters said. "But Star made another choice."

Then Star said:
"It's a little shocking to me that Barbara feels betrayed. I was really surprised that Barbara feels betrayed. If you watched me yesterday, I said that she was the most amazing mentor and I thanked her for the most amazing opportunity. My departure was orchestrated some time ago. And while I can accept any business decision, it's hard to accept the manner in which it was handled during the last two months. But, if you use words like betrayal, if anyone should be betrayed, it should be me! Barbara didn't have my back. "

This show sucked anyway but without Stah it will be even more pointless. Although Stah may actually be the most annoying person on the face of the earth. I do hope that she get a gig soon.
She just provides too many opportunities to snark.

The new token.

Renee Elise Goldsberry. Apparently she is part of the cast of "One Life to Live"
Barbara to CEO of ABC: Do we have any black women on the payroll?
CEO: I think we have a negro woman on the cast of one of our daytime shows.

Another celebrity seems to be out of work .I guess after Chris Rock roasted him at last year’s Oscars he decided to take a prolonged break.

Remember when Jude Law was HOT?! Not so much anymore….proof that womanizing can take its toll (and I’m sure his drug use doesn't help)

The reigning champion of hotness attended the premiere of the new “Pirates of the Caribbean” film

Even with those awful shades, he looks YUMMY! No one can pull off creepy and sexy at the same time as our man Johnny.

Someone who’s not SEXY.
Serena posing with Christina Milian (also searching for work). Is that a nipple trying to peek out?

Speaking of nipples. The ever shrinking Janet was out this week.

Why are the Jacksons constantly transforming themselves?

Keeping with the theme of crazy families. Tori Spelling came crying to People about how her mother didn’t tell her how serious her father’s condition was. All she had to do was turn on news to find out.

Bad move Tori, you may really be out of the will

And who is gracing the cover a major magazine?

The wonders of airbrushing always amazes me.

But even airbrushing couldn't help vivi

Her face is just getting worse.....

They can't be serious right?!

And allow me to end by saying check out the new Gnarls Barkely ablum- St. Elsewhere.
Tell next time....
K.V.

Sorry your logic does not compute

2006-06-16T00:38:00.000+02:00

I was planning to give you guys a big double issue this week, since I’m taking off next week.But we had people over for dinner tonight and of course they would not leave. And now I need to call a friend back in the US. Plus, I have not packed for my flight tomorrow.
How’s that for excuses?

Let me just start with the fact that everyone’s logic is just Fu*cked up at the moment.
1.Brit telling Matt that she wants to have her baby in Namibia. What the hell is going on here? She’s just stupid enough to be drinking the kool-aid.

2.The couple that started this madness is now rumored to finishing up the adoption procedures for a little Namibian boy. They are now in Mia Furrow territory and we all know how that story ended. I could say so much about this but I just don’t have the energy. They never seem to think of the consequences of their actions, because it’s all about them. Plus don't they know that Africa was so last year? They need a baby from Brazil! Now that would be trend setting.

3.Now this one is personal. I got an iPod mini last year for my birthday and had to send it back after a few months. Then the damn thing died again and now I’m outside the warranty.
So a good friend blessed me with her crazy logic and said that I should buy a shuffle for now and a Nano when I go to the US. At the time it all made sense. I ran out this week and purchased an shuffle, only to work out the logic later when I got home.
Broken iPod + buy new low end iPod + buy iPod Nano with video at later date= giving Apple almost 700 dollars for a product that sucks. DAMN YOU APPLE!

Speaking of babies where is little Suri????

“I’m not a android”

Happier period

Al’s logic seems on point. Here he’s hanging out with his boys……..

Courtesy “perez hilton”

See I usually don’t have anything bad to say about anyone’s weight. Since anorexia is so prevalent in Hollywood, plus I even have trouble putting down the cocoa pepples.
But don’t you think Raven would look fabulous if she dropped 15 pounds?

Ummmm, never mind. She could end up looking like this.....

Thanks to my new iPod, I caught up on some music. I somehow missed the Heather Headley album. Heather is officially the lead preacher of "the holy tabernacle of love and heart ache". I keep waiting for her to shout out “can I get Amen”
We’ve all been members, hopefully Heather can give up her duties soon. Work that out girl....

I try not to question people's logic on relationships (an absolute lie) but someone explain this one to me.

Cynthia and her lady-man

Serena's logic has never made sense. But someone please help this woman.

But compared to this oily mess, Serena is not doing too bad.

Is that Ananda Lewis in the background? Nice to see a fellow HU alum hanging out with D-listers. But then again she has no talent, so Vivi is a step up (meow, meow)

That's all for this week.
K.V.

Distracted

2006-06-09T14:47:00.000+02:00

Distracted…
My impending vacation and the weather is distracting me from this blog. But I’ll press on and try to post on a regular basis.
Moving on.....

Brangelina Mania
So the holy couple decided to sell the family pictures this week. But one problem, the blogs got the pictures first.

Okay we get it!! You love kids, you love the third world and you love each other. Now go away!

And then a press conference, just in case we didn't recognize.

Ahhh happy moment

Then.... NE has to break up this happy little party. Maury! Maury! Maury!!
Ahh damn wait a second.... Paul's wife beat him up? The same wife that only has one leg. I may have to pick up this issue.

The 4th of July really is Independence Day.

Our favorite female rapper will be released from prison on the 4th of July. Now we'll have to listen to her jailhouse stories. I'm already scared.

Seems that GAL is on the hunt.

Oh Man, Janet is looking like she's ready to try out for the re-make of the Thriller video.

Jessica Simpson, who let you out the house wearing this outfit?

Maybe the same crazy person that allowed Mariah out of the house.

See vivi was once really pretty. Here is the evidence.

Not so much anymore

Still no bump......out shopping again.

And someone just can't seem to leave the coke alone.

'national day of support' for Whitney (thanks for the tip)

We are all called to arms to support Nippy. Not sure when this National Day of support will actually take place. But I'm sure crackheads across America will want to join in also.

K.V.

My Miami Vice

2006-06-02T22:19:00.000+02:00

Why is everyone in Miami? This past Memorial Day weekend practically everyone was in MIA. I love Miami as much as the next person but I’m damn tired of seeing pictures of every celebrity poolside at the Delano. Which means that most of the pictures are staged. And the photographed celebrities are just doing their best to make the celeb blogs and tabloids. Well it works……

Shut Up GMA
“Coming up we'll have news on the birth of Brad and Angelina's baby, Shiloh, and how she can possibly change the fate of an African nation” a GMA commenter on the birth of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt before a commercial break. I could rant about how this comment is racist and ridiculous but for the most part it’s just plain ignorant. Hopefully Bradgelina are not buying into their own hype of the great white hope.

Of course everyone was all over the birth. But why was Angelina’s creepy brother also in the delivery room? You know the one that she was once photographed french kissing? Brad better watch out…..

The Knowles poolside in Miami. Rumor has it that Solange is pregnant again but you can't really tell in this photo

Serena in....guess where?? Miami! I guess she is too busy to play in the French Open. The guy in background looks tasty. Looking less like a tranny in this photo. Maybe the cute dog helps.

Nicole hit the beach in LA. Apparently it was warm enough to wear a bikini but cold enough to wear a scarf. I must admit that she looks better. She gained just a little bit of weight to remove the kiss of death look she had going on. So maybe she really was eating that hamburger last week.

another look

But then she shows up at the MTV House in San Diego. We all know how small Christina Milian is but next to Nicole she almost looks like a fat giant. Nicole should of had that burger with fries.

Mariah Scary walking her dog in NYC. Now this picture just makes me mad. I guess she had to meet her pimp while she was walking the dog. Which would explain the outfit. I would really pay my hard earned money just to style Mariah for one week.

"Can't push my boobs out much more....hurry and take my damn picture"

'Lost' frustrated me for most of the season. "Stop pushing that damn button". But then I remembered why I liked to watch. Josh Holloway aka "Sawyer" on the cover of Details magazine. Yummy!!

Jennifer out shopping. I can't really see a bump but it's still early

Janet looking fab in Miami. I guess the US Magazine photos could be real. Her arms look amazing. Crazy ass Wendy Williams has been spreading the rumor that Janet was wearing a fat suit in the pictures from earlier this year. Wendy’s rumors have absolutely no credibility but Janet is by all a Jackson, so I can't put anything past her.

Kfed decided to take a shower and clean himself up. Not really working...he looks like a reject from the Young College Republicans.
He says he wants to be known as a artist and not just as Britney's husband. He has a lot of nerve. Considering before Britney he was known just as Shar's baby daddy.

Star and Al have put their NYC aparment up for sale. Movin' on up or getting ready for divorce court? Here are the pics

Ice Cube decided to join the chorus of rappers slamming Oprah. Cry me a river, is this the same man that released such positive songs as "The Nigga Ya Love To Hate" and "Get Off My Dick And Tell Yo Bitch To Come Here"? Don’t even get me started on the Barbershop movies. Cube-check yourself first before making such dumb ass comments.
"Read the article here"

And Jamie Foxx is just nasty. Claiming that he has sex at least everyday to keep in shape. Which is not a bad or nasty thing but what is nasty, is that I'm sure he's not in a monogamous relationship. Meaning that he's probably having sex with different women (or men) every day. I guess he's trying to reach Wilt's record. He better double-up.

That's all I have this week.
K.V.